booowing

I know I promised once a week, and I just wrote last night, but it is quiet in my house, I just finished a book, and I'm a little sad. See, the reason it is quiet is the Pea is at the neighbor's house. The neighbor's house is kid paradise. There is a trampoline, a swing set, a playroom, and most important, lots of kids, four actually. I was so proud of myself, sacrificing a garage and a nice big house to instead buy in a prime school district and so happy when I realized I lived in one of those neighborhoods where you could let the kids out the back door and say "go play!" and now, unfortunately, it is pissing me off. I'm glad the Pea has neighborhood kids to run with, and the run of the block, and I am glad I know she is safe and will be sent home to eat or if she misbehaves...what I don't like is that she would rather be at any other house than ours, and with any one but me. Apparently our house is boring...matter of fact she flat out said it, when I went over there to make sure she was ok and ask her if she was ready to come home "NOOOOOOO mommmmm, I wanna stay heeeeeere...pleeeeeeease, our house is boooowing."

We don't have a trampoline, or a swing set, or a play room, a wii or an xbox or koolaid, and we don't have any other kids. The Pea has finally reached the age where mom is not the coolest person on the planet...and mom is having a hard time with that. It is also contributing to my desperately wanting another baby...except not really, cuz when I think about the 9 (10) months of pregnancy, the year of breastfeeding, the potty training, the mess, the chaos, the lack of sleep, the exhaustion so deep you feel it in your bones, the terror of all things bad that you envision happening to your baby every. single. moment. of. every. day...oh my God, I need a nap just thinking about it...but then again...

Once it was fairly well decided (by whom I am still not sure) that the Pea would be my one and only I became acutely aware that I must savor every single moment and not once try and rush through a stage or utter the phrase "It will be better when she..." and yet it is STILL going by waaaay too fast. As I sit here typing what I really want to do is go outside and yell over the fence for her to come home, but then what? She is right, our house is boring...it is cozy and lovely and I love it, but I am not 5 and she is not as entertained by books without pictures and vodka as I am. Grown-ups love my house, kids, not so much. It doesn't help I have (or rather had) white sofas and a no jumping, eating, drinking, or wrestling with the dog, in the living room policy.

I want to be one of those adults that kids love...ya know the ones that can play, really play, get dirty, and have fun, but I'm not...when I think play and get dirty there are absolutely no children involved and my sense of humor is more sarcasm driven than bathroom joke driven. My kid doesn't get me at all, the only time I can make her laugh, really belly laugh anyway, is when I hurt myself and cuss. She finds all manner of "grown up words" HI-larious. I have tried to temper my potty mouth, since it is by far one of the worst on the planet, but to no avail. I have kind of given up and explained that cussing, like drinking booze and eating dark chocolate, is reserved for mommies and daddies, and since answering her question of "How did I get out your belly?" honestly, she wants no part of any of it. Every once in awhile she will ask for clarification on what constitutes a "mommy word" but for the most part she knows anything I yell after stubbing my toe or breaking something is off limits until she passes a tiny human out her lady bits. And, cuz I know you are thinking it, to the question of how she got IN my belly in the first place, I answered "God put you there after I prayed for you." I try and be as honest as possible with her, but there ARE limits.

So here I sit, in my boring house, even the dog looks bored for cryin' out loud, thinking of ways I can be more fun so that my kid will want to hang out with me. *sigh*

Oh hell...I'm gonna make a martini and watch her play in the neighbors yard from the comfort of my deck, and then when she is good and worn out I will call her home and put her to bed and watch her sleep. Every parent knows that their kids are at their absolute best and cutest when they are sound asleep. I may be boring, but I ain't stupid.