don't like it much

I am supposed to be asleep right now...I have a nasty cold that is kicking my ass, and taking care of an almost 3 year old is hell. I finally caved and asked DH to take the Pea for a few hours so I could get some sleep and I am not sleeping. It figures...all morning I have been half falling asleep trying to deal and now I have an hour or so left of peace and quiet without responsibility and I am on the computer.

She was so damn excited to see him...I told her he was on the way and she went outside to wait even though I told her it would be at least 15 minutes...when he got here she ran to him, jumped in his arms and squeezed with all her might. I know I should be happy about that, glad that he could come get her, and glad that she was excited about it, but instead I wanted to shout "NO, wait, never mind, I'm fine, I can handle it," and ever since I have been sitting here thinking...never good...instead of relaxing.

This is the first, I'm sure of many, illnesses I have had as a single mommy. It is a good thing it's only a cold, and not the flu or worse...I never thought about getting sick...I usually don't get sick, and there I was this morning, completely drained of energy, sneezing, sniffling and hoarse. I wanted to just lay on the couch and have someone take care of me while I watched bad TV. Instead, I had to do the care taking...I had to diaper, and feed, and entertain, and it occurred to me this is how it will be from now on. Gotta say, despite sounding whiny and silly, don't like it much...don't like it much at all.