polyester dreams

So the first "real" day of unemployment...very weird.

I made a list, last night, of all the things I wanted to accomplish this week. Some things I have wanted to get done for months and just haven't, a few are in an effort to secure a new job, and a few because of the job loss. To keep the Pea on a good schedule, and to prevent me from getting lazy and spending all day on the couch watching ESPN, I decided I would get up 7:30, get us both ready, and then spend the day working on my list while the Pea was at school. Well, I woke up at 7:29, yay for me, good start...I turned on the light and the Pea walked in "hey baby doll, g'mornin...wanna snuggle with mommy for a few minutes before we get up?" Next thing I knew it was 9:04...it is now 10:30...the Pea is finally at school, I am watching SportsCenter, the list is taunting me from the kitchen counter.

One of the things on the list is the rather obvious "GET A F*CKING JOB" and apparently it is weighing on me SO much that my subconscious already has me working. I had a dream I was a Hooters girl. There I was, in my too tight tank, teeny tiny heinous orange short shorts with my ass hanging out, and ridiculous knee socks, slinging wings. Then, as in dreams it is possible to do, it was suddenly the end of my shift and I was leaning against the counter counting my tips and telling one of the other girls how surprised I was I wasn't more tired, since I hadn't waitressed in so long, and wasn't used to being on my feet all day. I woke up in a panic because it was one of those really real dreams and I was embarrassed for myself...I am too old to be a Hooters girl, and don't look good in orange.

The dream has me a bit shaken...I had all this confidence last week that I would find a "real" job soon and not be left in a position that I would have to take one of those jobs that lends itself to a heinous polyester uniform, but I have been here before. I have never waitressed in a "real" restaurant, ya know with cloth napkins and pepper mills, where if you are part of the wait staff you can actually make a decent living and consider it a career. No, the extent of my waitressing experience has been while donning something gross and pretending to flirt with drunk ass morons who think they have done you a favor by giving you a dollar. Waffle House and Pure Gold...oh yeah...very unflattering brown stripes and far TOO flattering gold sequins.

I went to college on an academic scholarship, so everything from tuition to books was paid for...they drew the line at cute shoes though, so I needed to make some money and the Waffle House was the only place in town that was hiring at the time. I later got a bartending job which was a whole lot better, but for months I endured that awful polyester brown mess they called a uniform and slung hashbrowns "scattered, smothered, topped" and perfectly browned waffles. The Pure Gold gig was while I was in flight school, a decade later. Flight hours aren't cheap, and until I got a job working for the company that ran the flight school and was able to weasel free flight time, I had to endure gold sequins, and high heels, and sling $6 Budweisers.

I have no idea what job I will end up getting when it is all said and done, but God help me if I end up having to wear anything polyester, striped, or sequined...that really would be a nightmare.