a brand new box

Remember this:

Saturday, July 12, 2008

the Christmas of the box
Wow, I have actually been so busy the last few days I haven't been able to write...I actually had to work at work...imagine that. So on Thursday I had to sit through a class on HazMat...fun and games right? Well the instructor thought it was THE most exciting and interesting stuff EVER, the rest of us...not so much.

The funny thing about the class, is that it made me remember this past Christmas.See, the instructor kept using the word box whenever he was referring to any kind of package at all, and I swear he said it like 52 times in the first few minutes..I had to stifle my giggles, it was ridiculous.

Ok, so it's December of last year, Smash, J, JJ and Boo are coming down for Christmas...my parents decide they are going to just ship "all our presents" to my house. Every day for a week they call to ask if we "got the box?" and since I usually only talk to mom OR dad once or twice a month I figured this was one HELL of a box, with lots of good shit.

About 4 days before Christmas we get the box...it's about the size of a shoebox and it's drop shipped from Harry & David...WTF? This can't be it, this had to be an additional box, THE box must be late.

So I call mom,
me: "hey there, got a box of somethin' from Harry & David"
mom: "OOOH GOOOD, you got your Christmas presents then"
me: "ummmm, ok, yeah, are they ALL in there, for EVERYONE?"
mom: "yes, yes, and don't open them until Smash and the boys get there"
me: "oh, ok, great...thanks so much!"

Meanwhile I am thinking, "its food, gourmet food, we have a 2, 4, and 6 yr old and it's Christmas - what is that?" So Smash, J, JJ & Boo arrive, and I present the box. Smash starts laughing, J is wondering what the hell is so funny and the kids are maniacs because of course they think the box MUST be filled with great stuff...we open the box...inside the box is:

MORE BOXES...

Oh yeah, 5 red boxes of assorted size, each one containing some heinous little food with a designer label.

OMG...OMG...OMG.

There wasn't enough of any one thing to share amongst 7 people, and there were only 5 different things...let me see if I can remember what they were: fruit cake, fudge, baklava, raspberry cookie bar thing, and......oh who cares.

Anyway, we call mom & dad to "thank them" and they are just so damn proud...they sooo did not get it...and these are not 90 yr olds, they are not poor (anymore), they know we have children. We are close to just letting it go and writing it off as my parents being clueless when we happen to ask what youngest got. Big mistake...HUGE...because upon hearing the answer we are furious.

Oh, he got a box too...

A brand new box...

See, mom and dad agreed to pay for him to get him a sex change...lets see how did J put it?

"So let me get this straight...the SEVEN of us got a BOX of Harry & David and your brother GOT A VAGINA?!"

And not just a vagina, but hormone treatments, laser hair removal, the works...that shit ain't cheap. Now granted, my parents have never been big gift givers (not to us anyway) so it's not like we were expecting a whole lot, but if in order to get them to spend money on us we have to ask for new body parts...hmmm I think I'll pass, I'm pretty damn happy with my box thank you very much, I don't think I want a new one.


UPDATE Jan. 2009...ok so this Christmas mom & dad redeemed themselves...we got gift cards and the kids racked up with some great stuff...Youngest wasn't there, we don't know what she got...I'm still very happy with my box and have only my original body parts.


Youngest is now officially, legally, anatomically...a girl...my baby brother is now my baby sister...JD has happily (well ok, begrudgingly, whatEVER) taken on the role of baby brother since I am still coming to terms with not having one, and I have yet to meet my baby sister. I am excited about it, hoping that now she feels "right" in her own skin we can have a relationship and be sisters, but having been somewhat estranged for the last few years I am not holding out hope for a running in slow motion, through a field of flowers, hug and cry fest.

How do you start over with someone? How do you forge a new relationship with someone you have known forever, yet don't know at all?

DH and I are starting over...making our way as two single parents doing our best to raise the same kid...we are trying to be friends and create a new way of seeing each other. Is it possible to start over like that with someone who really is "new" and wants the whole world to see them differently? Sometimes when you make a major life change, and you see yourself as someone else, having faith in people who "knew you when" to do the same is hard. Even if THEY are willing to see you as your new self, there is sometimes an underlying uneasiness, and it is easier to just break away and start over with new people who only know who you are now.

There was a part of me that wanted to jump ship after splitting from DH...get out of town, make new friends, start over from scratch...I am glad I didn't, and once I gave my friends time to adjust they remained just that, my friends. The ones who have drifted away or are unwilling to accept me as the single girl self that I am now were probably never friends to begin with. I hope my baby sister trusts that we (her family) can see her as who she is NOW, and gives us a chance to like her (or not) based on that and that alone. I am mourning the loss of the little man that I knew and loved, but I am looking forward to meeting the little lady...I hope I like her.