all the good guys

It is early...I should be in bed. The Pea is still asleep, I have nowhere to be, and I am still tired, but I can't sleep. Just watched the highlights of last nights game and damn, sorry I missed that...looks like it was a good one. The Pea and I are planning on lots of fun stuff today: the mall, the park, maybe the aquarium. I am keeping her out of school because she will be staying with DH this weekend and I feel like I haven't gotten to see her much this week. She will be going to a football game (lucky girl) over the weekend, and doing all the fun stuff surrounding that...I will be playing golf, or at least that is the plan...let's hope the weather is good for both of us.

Feeling a little blah, as I usually do right before a non-Pea weekend. I should be happy, and glad that not only will she have a great one, but that I will be able to have a nice grown up weekend without the responsibility. Thing is, I kinda like the responsibility, and the work, and her company. Oh well, it is what it is, and considering some of the alternatives, I will take it.

So, Hot Writer Man, JDV, did his article this week on the best romantic relationships coming from friendships (http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-mind-of-man-where-all-the-good-guys-are/). And he addressed it to the ladies in a, the good guys are right in front of you, get your heads outta your asses! kind of way. This hit home for me, and has had me thinking ever since. I am "one of the boys" always have been...I have a slew of guy friends and for one reason or another none of them have been or ever will be (?) my boyfriend. JDV says the best relationships come out of friendship and when the passion fades the friendship will be there and all will be well.

Well...that is all well and good in theory, but been there, done that, and not real sure I wanna do it again. DH started as a friend, and even though there was some passion on and off, eventually it just wasn't enough for me. I have plenty of friends...I have both men and women I can yammer to incessantly about my day, go to movies with, go out to eat, or go shopping with. NOW I want passion, I want a guy I can't keep my hands off of, I want a guy who I fantasize about, who I have such crazy chemistry with I can not imagine NOT "being" with. Yes, I know it fades, I know it goes away, and real life gets in the way of having crazy, naughty, monkey sex on the kitchen floor cuz you just can't make it to the bedroom, but I still want that...or at least the memory of it when it has faded. Don't get me wrong: I don't want a jerk who only is around when he is gettin' some, I don't want someone that I have nothing in common with besides sex, and I do want a "good guy" I just want that good guy to make me ache for him.

Booya and I have talked about the whole making a friend a lover thing cuz so many people (especially his mom) have encouraged us to do so, or just assumed we have, BUT, there is a reason Booya and I aren't and never will be lovers...there is no spark. We are like siblings. Yes, we know everything about each other, and hang out all the time, but the answer to "why not?" is well, cuz it would feel like settling. It would be both of us giving up finding "the one" and saying "ok, you are here, you will do" if I was ok with that, I would have stayed in my marriage.

As per JDV's advice, I looked around at all the great guys right in front of me this week, I thought about all the boys in my life. Philly, who could be my boyfriend but I am still holding back on, partly because of the chemistry thing...Coach, who I have the crazy passion and chemistry with, but doesn't seem to want more...and all "my boys" who I have these really great friendships with that have grown and developed over the last year, and with one exception (he IS the prettiest boy on the planet) I just could never see myself with...not because they aren't great, they are...they are some of the best men I have ever met...they just aren't for me.

*sigh*

There is always BOB...maybe I should have grabbed him and gone back to bed this morning instead of all this thinking and typing...hmmmmm...going back to bed now.