boring

Mclovin called the other night to tell me that the blog was getting boring...he no longer checked in to read on a regular basis cuz it no longer had the draw it used to. Booya said something similar a few weeks ago...they both have been reading since the beginning and have watched me (and been there for me) through all the ups and downs and tell me what they think, even when I don't want to hear it, so I guess I better listen to them. They both said that the "old way" of writing, that read more like a journal, "here is what I did today" and less like articles for a women's magazine, is what kept them coming back...they also both said (along with DrCox) that I needed to write more, every day, even if it was just a line or two. Ok, guys...here ya go, back to basics...

So, today is Labor Day, which means no school for the Pea and no work for me. We were hoping to hit the beach with Dancergirl but the weather is crappy so we did DD and the mall instead...we are home now, fingers crossed there will be naps, and then back to the grind tomorrow.

The weekend was pretty good. It started, for me, on Friday and after dropping off the Pea at school I managed a quick catch up with Gigi at her office over coffee and then went to the park for a run (and by run I mean walk/run/struggle). Took my time at home with the hot shower and then met Betty out for a late lunch. We had much catching up to do, and talked mostly about boys. My boys...things with Philly are really nice, HE is really nice, and I am still holding back. He is officially my boyfriend, and yet I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that. I also still feel like there is unfinished business with Coach and whether it is closure or something else I don't know. Philly and I are already making plans for the rest of the month [read: future] and doing "couple stuff" with other couples, and yet we are still very tentative, and a bit hot and cold, with each other. I told Gigi yesterday that Dancergirl asked a question about "my boyfriend" and the first thing that flew out of my mouth was "I don't have a boyfr...oh, you mean, Philly...uhm, oopsie" What is wrong with me?! I am also starting to dread the upcoming two months and having all "my boys" out of the country...DrCox left today, Booya will leave at the end of the week and JD shortly after that. I don't know what the hell I am gonna do...they are the ones who keep me straight, who watch my back, and who look out for me...not to mention hang with me on Monday and Wednesday nights...who will make fun of me when I spill my Dos Equis and drop salsa on my shirt?! *sigh*

Saturday was ok...started off great, the Pea and I went to DD, then through the car wash, shopping, the park; then I started feeling bad, thought I was coming down with something (feel fine now though, so who knows) and I ended up being a lazy slug for the rest of the day. Dancergirl brought her baby boy over after dinner and he stayed with us for the night so she could go out and have some fun...I THOUGHT having two would mean they would entertain each other and leave me to chill...L.O.L. ahahahahahahhaaaaa, NO...instead of "mommy, play with me" it was "Miss K, Pea is doing..." "mommy, he is being mean..." bang, crash, crying..."NOOOO....we will be nice, please don't separate us!!!" "can we...?" "how about...?" I ALSO thought they would sleep in in the morning since they both stayed up past their bedtimes...again L.O.L. not so much...7am, not one, but two, pair of eyes on me as I struggled to open mine, and "can we go to the beach now?" We ended up going to the beach, but not for long; it was cloudy and cold, and not much fun. We left the beach and headed to Gigi's to see BabyTarheel and visit awhile. The rest of the afternoon was spent napping, cuddling, and just chilling at home.

The rest of today will be like most Sundays...cleaning, laundry, packing, chores...only unlike most Sundays the Pea will head off to spend the night with DH and I will have a bit of alone time. I really like my alone time, have come to love it...as I sit here typing, I can't help but wonder if my holding back when it comes to Philly, or men in general, is my way of ensuring that I continue to have it. I don't want to have to answer to anyone, be at any one's beck and call, or always have to be available...I like that I can come and go as I please, and drop off the radar just because, and only spend time with the people I want to spent time with, and despite Philly giving me NO indication that he will stifle that, I see him as a threat, because I see any relationship a threat, and I will fiercely protect my freedom because I have come to see my freedom as the key to my happiness...hmmmmm...ok Booya, Mclovin, DrCox, any thoughts on THAT?