hunting cougars

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!

The Pea and I have had a really fantastic Easter so far, and with a big dinner at a girlfriend's planned for later, I suspect it will just get better. Seems like we have been celebrating for a week, and despite my attempts to keep the candy to a minimum the Pea is loaded down...I guess I can throw out the Halloween candy I have been rationing, and start on the Easter stuff. The Easter bunny did miss the mark on one thing..."he" left a bunny ballet DVD, thinking she would LOVE it. It was the first thing we HAD to open, and after putting it on and watching for a few minutes, the Easter bunny realized it was a VERY bad idea. It was actually dancers dressed up in animal costumes and it freaked her out..."Mommy turn it off, TURN IT OFF NOW, I DON'T YIKE!!" Oh well, the playdoh and beach toys were a hit.

So switchin' gears a little...in response to the crossed signals and milestone birthdays posts, I got an email from a bud, asking for advice, and instead of replying personally, I figured I would make it a post...who knows, someone else may benefit as well. Ok, his question was something along the lines of (and I am paraphrasing a little) "I am into a slightly older woman (he is in his twenties, and I don't know how old she is, but since he considers me old, I am guessin' late twenties, early thirties) and I have no idea how to approach her, or whether or not she will take me seriously...you are a hot cougar, how would you want to be approached...I am guessing asking the time is a no..."

OK, first off let me say; I don't think of myself as a cougar...oh sure I will joke some, and have been out with my, younger than me, guy buds and been teased mercilessly to that affect, but I don't as a rule, prowl for younger men. I have a type, and whether he is 25 or 50, if he fits it, he is probably someone I want to get to know better...also, while I was flattered by the hot comment, hotness is relative, and so I know to some I am, to others I am not. The trick will be (for me) to find someone I think is hot, who also thinks I am hot, and hope he is at least old enough that I don't get thrown in jail, or young enough that he can still get it up...that said, let me try to answer his question.

I think the best way to approach a woman (any woman, of any age) is simply "Hi." If she is a total stranger, wait for a hi back and then introduce yourself...if she smiles, and holds your gaze, introduces herself; keep talking...it doesn't mean she wants to f*ck you, you aren't "IN", but it DOES mean she doesn't want you to "go away, go away now, you are creeping me out." If she says nothing, or says hi and then turns her back, ignores you, walks away, looks at her phone etc., it is probably time to move on...she either is taken, not interested, not in the mood to be approached, or worst case; scared you are gonna mug her and dialing 9-1-1. After that, it really depends on where you are, or what you are doing...if you are in a bar or coffee shop; ask if you can sit with her or buy her a drink (don't tell her, or order and then give it to her, you wanna show confidence, not arrogance)...if you are at a park, the gym, the grocery store, just make small talk, and maybe compliment her on something other than her tits or ass (arms if she is athletic, it is so damn hard to get nice arms...or something she is wearing, reading, carrying), it really all depends on the situation. If it seems like there is a spark, and you just know when there is, ask her if you can get her number, or give her yours.

If you give her your number, and she works up the courage to call, you damn sure better answer your phone, or call her back in a timely manner if you can't. If you get hers, CALL...within 24 hours, or she is gonna get pissed and be like "WTF?" If she declines both, and you were pretty sure there was a spark, she is probably not available...just move on...it probably had nothing to do with you, your age, or what you said.

Ok, so if she is NOT a stranger...she is someone you see on a pretty regular basis, or you know from school, work, through friends, etc., just ask her out. Simple..."Hey, you wanna grab a drink or a coffee sometime?" If you are always hanging out in a group, I would add, "just the two of us." Once you are out, it is just a matter of getting to know each other, and finding out if you are compatible. Your age won't matter unless she needs an excuse to NOT see you again, but I suspect it won't be about your age, as much as it is about where you are in life, and your maturity level. I will say this: if you make a big deal about her age, she will make a big deal of yours, so DON'T. If you are always bringing up how "older women are hot," or you make a lot of jokes about how you "weren't born yet", or God forbid you call her a cougar...she will get turned off, and quick, and it won't have anything to do with your age, you will just suddenly seem very young to her, and immature.

It doesn't matter how old we are, we girls are flattered when a guy approaches...especially if he is a younger, hot, guy...we may not be available, or want to get to know him better, but we are flattered, so go for it...you will never know if you don't. Getting it to work beyond that, well hell, I am not the one to ask...I think chemistry (that spark) + compatibility (that is the tough one) + timing = the possibility of a great relationship. Good luck.