milestone birthdays

JD emailed me, shortly after midnight last night, with a suggestion for the blog...seems Elliot (his girl) is freakin' out a little because of an upcoming birthday and he couldn't figure out why, and wanted me to tell him, and all the other guys out there, wtf the big deal is...well JD sorry to disappoint, but I don't KNOW why women freak out when they approach certain ages...I myself had no problem turning 30. Lady and Mom recently had "milestone" birthdays as well and both weren't altogether happy about the number they were turning...I talked to mom at length about it, because when I called to wish her a happy birthday she wasn't all that happy, and it bummed me out.

Here is what I THINK...I think that male or female whenever you approach a landmark number, especially if everyone else is making a big deal out of it, you start to question whether or not you are where you thought you would be in life, relative to where you are. In general, if you have accomplished what you wanted to, or thought you could, and you are happy with the personal aspects (relationships etc.) you don't mind the number...if on the other hand; you are not completely satisfied (and let's face it, few are) the number starts to weigh on your mind. For women; 30, 40, 50 & 60 can be especially tough because if you are not completely confident in yourownself, the constant barrage of beautiful 20somethings all over the media can lead to feelings of insecurity.

Guess what Elliot, here's the real deal...being 30 is no different than being 29, no different than 31...IT DOESN'T MATTER, it is just a number. I myself was a mess in my twenties, and honestly most of the women I know can say the same, problem is you don't realize how big a mess you are until you aren't anymore, and can take stock and look back. Having a job, taking care of yourself, and paying your own bills; doesn't make you an adult, doesn't make you mature...having a rockin' hot 20something body, going through the motions of sex and doing what you think you should; doesn't make you sexy, or good in bed...having a degree, knowing facts and figures; doesn't make you wise...having people envy you; doesn't mean your life is great...ultimately your number doesn't matter...what matters is who you are and how you live...some people are lucky enough to figure it out in their 20s, for most, it is much later.

I had a TON of crazy life experiences before turning 30...I thought I had seen or done it all, I thought I was with it, and cool, and VERY MATURE...I also thought I had sex and relationships all figured out...I wasn't, and I didn't, and it wasn't until I got into my thirties that I realized it...if with each decade I gain the wisdom I have in the last; I am gonna be one awesome woman by the time I hit 60. Don't dread turning 30, embrace it, look forward to it...have a party and toast your new number. Vow to, from here on out, make sure every day counts...the key to not dreading milestone birthdays is to live the life you want, without regret, so that when they approach you aren't having to take stock and think about all the things you haven't done or you missed out on. Love openly, honestly, and fully, without holding back...take chances and welcome failure as an opportunity to learn and gain wisdom...be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with others...forgive yourself when you f*ck up and move on...don't wallow in self pity or get caught up in who you aren't, celebrate who you are, and if you don't like her much; change.

Life is short...be glad you are turning 30 because there are plenty of people who never made it that far...embrace EVERY birthday with gratitude...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!