super powers

Pea and I did the Sunday morning doughnut run this morning because she will be with her dad tomorrow morning, and well, I wanted a doughnut. Apparently before I left the house I activated my invisible super powers and no one could see me or my car. As I was pulling into the coffee shop (off a major road with cars behind me) a jogger decided that instead of stopping at the curb and waiting he would just run right in front of me without a thought...not only could I have killed him if I hadn't slammed on brakes sending the Pea and I both hurtling forward, but it could have caused a 3 car pileup had the car behind me not done the same. He didn't hurry to get out of the way, wave a "oops, my bad" or even glance over...meanwhile brakes are screeching, cars are swerving, hearts are racing.

Ok, so I manage to finally get in the parking lot and as I am pulling around to the drive thru a car backs out in front of me - again forcing me to slam on brakes, and again no oopsie wave, no hurryin' to get out of my way, nothin', she just backs out, takes her time turning the car out of the spot and goes on in front of me like nothin'. After gettin' the goods we head to my new favorite store Target and not only am I invisible to other people, but now inanimate objects don't recognize I am there either...the Pea and I head in the automatic door and IT SHUTS ON US...yeah, it opened, we started through and BAM, now those suckers are heavy and once they start closing it's not like a regular door you can just push back open..WTF? now it's just getting ridiculous.

So I am in line to check out, I have my stuff on the counter, the girl ringing me up is not aware of my super power because she does see me, is doing a great job, we are chatting and next thing I know a big red shopping cart barrels into me and nearly KNOCKS ME OVER and a lady walks around to the front of it, pushing me aside with her big fat ass and starts just throwin' stuff on the conveyor belt, right on top of my stuff!!! No "OMG, I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm in a hurry, get out of my way skinny bitch" NOTHIN'...it is as if she DOESN'T EVEN SEE ME...very strange.

Now of all the super powers I would like to have, being invisible is not in the top 3...not to say it wouldn't be fun, think fly on the wall at a party, etc, but I would much rather be able to fly, have super human strength or be able to read people's minds...of course that one could be scary.