fish, pigs, cows, & chickens

As I sit here typing, I have 7 fish stuck to my forehead, 3 pigs on a boob, 4 cows on my arm, and 10, yes 10 chickens, on the back of my neck. They are stickers, photo stickers and the Pea got such a kick out of sticking them to my various parts I couldn't bear to take them off...I will of course, soon, I just wanted to write about it first. See, I had one of those really good mommy days, and those stickers were just the icing on the cake. I have had those stickers in my possession for 17 years...yes, I said 17 years. See back then mom worked for the company that made those stickers and as she had thousands of samples in her possession when she left the company, she gave them to me. I was a little wacky at the time (ok still am, whatEVER) and an aspiring artist and she figured I could use 'em. Well I squirrelled them away to be used only on special occasions and for "when I had a kid" and whataya know, here I am 17 years later with 'em stuck all over my body.

The day started pretty good, as upon waking the Pea informed me I was once again "her very best fwend" and since that was waaay better than the f*cking piece of shit she had me pegged for last night, I figured we were in for a great day. Hit a little bump in the road when DH informed me that he would be returning to the club as an INDIVIDUAL member, and wow wasn't that just great! Yeah, really f*cking great that you can play golf 4 days a week now while I work my ass off and drive 4 hours a day and put groceries on a credit card I will never be able to pay off...bully for you, f*ck off...ANYHOO, yeah that's my new favorite saying: bully for you, f*ck off...just read a British book can you tell? Oh yeah and (referring to wicked pretty girls who are smarter and have more money than you) Miss Bitchcuntwhorefromhell, but that one didn't apply...

Ok, back to my good mommy day...we had a tea party, played outside, went to town with my paints and a new canvas, took a walk around the pond and chased the ducks, ate a nice dinner together (even clinked our glasses and said cheers!) and then had fun with stickers...oh and took lots of silly pictures with my phone. I even got to watch the premier of The Office which I had dvr'd (is that a word?) while she took a nap. So I don't spend my Saturdays at the club anymore, so what? I still miss it, and would love to be out there, but I am pretty sure having fish on your forehead and pigs on your boob would violate the dress code...and we couldn't have that.