friends?

Well no snow here, but DO have a sick Pea...fun and games...not bad sick mind you, just too sick to go to school...so the house is getting destroyed as I write, and I am feeling guilty about not being at work...Smash is not feeling great either, tired and worn out. Plus, she is scrambling to get work, and her boys, covered while she is here...we are not a happy group of girls. I suppose we should just be happy we are getting to spend more time together, and on one hand we are, of course, but in thinking about the catch up that will be required later...eeek.

So, I am on the computer, trying to form a cohesive thought so I can write a post that you might actually enjoy reading, and a few messages have popped up on Facebook. I can't look at Facebook during the day if I am at work, so this is different for me...usually I catch up in the evenings. I am still unsure how I feel about the whole deal. There is no doubt I am hooked, I check it often, although I don't have a crackberry so not as often as some, and yet I am still a little scared of the whole thing. It has allowed me to reconnect with people I never thought I would see or hear from again, which has been nice, but it also allowes other people into my life that I never really had a connection with to start. I have "friends" on Facebook that were NEVER friends in life...just because we went to the same high school, does that make a connection? I think not, and yet with every new friend request I click confirm.

It is a strange dichotomy...I want to be "one of the cool kids" and have lots of friends, but then again, I don't. I see people with hundreds of friends and am just a little jealous and I wonder; are they somehow cooler or better than me? Yet, every time I confirm someone that I have to go back to my yearbooks to remember I think; why am I doing this? The whole reason to get on there was to reconnect with the people I grew up with...the ones who knew me awkward, and ugly, and wild...people who I have memories with, who want to know me now and I want to know. There are probably only about twenty people that I actually communicate with and check in with, another twenty or so that I don't necessarily communicate with regularly but enjoy knowing how their life is and love to see what they are doing, and the rest? Well I am not about to delete them as a friend, but really with the exception of a funny status update now again...I dunno, is it too ugly to say I couldn't care less? Yikes, that sounds mean.

In addition to the whole reconnecting deal is the forming of new connections...which never occurred to me when I started the whole thing. Now, if you meet someone out (say a potential suitor) you can check them out on Facebook...you can find out all kinds things about them...it is a little unsettling. Do I really want a guy to see my Christmas pictures, or pictures of my kid? Why did I post those? Yet, what is the first thing I do when I go to someone's page? Look at their pictures...and if they don't have any, or only have a few...I am bummed.

So what's a girl to do? Well right now gonna go check my messages and see if I have any new "friends."