lost time

Wow, so it is Sunday already and already it is late, and I have done none of my usual chores; laundry, cleaning, packing etc...I didn't even realize it was daylight savings until about 9 (8am). The Pea came into my room this morning, crawled into bed with me (awwww), and I looked at my watch, 7am...right on time. We take our time getting up and ready and I grab my phone off the charger and take a look at it, it is 8:50...WTF? What happened, how did two hours go by? I go out to the kitchen and the clock on the stove says 7:50...OHHHHHHH, duh. I was pissed, and then I had to scramble cuz I wanted to go get coffee and I also wanted to get a bunch of stuff done before heading to the beach with Gigi and Buddy (her baby boy)...well...I got the coffee.

So, we made it to the beach, almost on time, but I got nothing done before hand...I should be doing it now, but oh well. So yes, beach today, FINALLY...a nice warm day, only about 30 minutes after we arrived and settled in, which was a little bit of a fiasco cuz it was so crowded, the wind shifted and it got COLD, sad...the temp was in the 70s, but it felt waaaaay cooler.

Today was one of those really good mommy days...not only did I have fun with the Pea, but I managed to get her bathed and to bed without any fuss and she really enjoyed reading and cuddling tonight...despite wishing EVERY night was this great, these are the nights that make me HATE the fact that I don't have her every night. I am already dreading dropping her off at school tomorrow and not seeing her again until Tuesday evening...I feel like she is already growing up too fast and slipping away from me, and it doesn't help I am having baby greed.

Baby greed is when you want one really bad, but know you can't have one and every pregnant belly you see you either want to rub, or run from, depending on the day, and every newborn you see (or really any baby younger than the Pea) makes you teary...yeah, I am there. I know it is fairly normal, and I have had it for awhile, but it got ramped into high gear at Christmas while I was holding one of Smash's friends' babies and then even more as Gigi has progressed through her pregnancy. I thought, by living vicariously through her, I would be satisfied...somehow hearing her talk of all the horrors of pregnancy would make me remember and "be cured" of the greed. Today though, she said something about one thing in particular and instead of the hoped for response in my head of "oh, thank god that's not me, been there, done that" I was jealous...jealous of weight gain and exhaustion and well all the other stuff we don't need to go into. The crazy thing is, while I LOVED growing the Pea inside of me, and having her, I didn't exactly LOVE being pregnant...I wasn't "one of those" that breezed through glowing and happy. I was tired and lonely and scared to death (huh? kinda like now).

I guess just one more thing to tackle...try not to think too hard about, and move on from...and despite all my whining, I must say, overall, a good day...if I could just get that damn hour back to do laundry...