playing with fire

Saw Coach again last night...I swear the chemistry is off the chart...we don't just spark, we ignite. It is fun, and refreshing, and I am enjoying myself...problem is: I don't wanna do "the game." I don't want to continue dating or even talking to other men, because I want to see where things will go with him and I already have a loyalty to him. Booya thinks I am crazy, and that I should keep on going out and being the fun single girl cuz Coach is probably going out and hooking up all over the place and probably has no loyalty to me. According to most guys I know until you have "the talk" and having that talk before you have been dating for at least a few weeks is crazy, you are not exclusive and he owes you nothing. Well, yuck...that may be true, but I don't like it much, and I say, ok, fine then...maybe he doesn't owe me anything, but I owe it to myself to do what feels right, and it doesn't feel right to talk to other men, or go out on dates with other men, so I don't think I'm gonna.

The thought of even signing into Match at this point just seems weird. Apparently I am way off base and being silly, but I don't care. I may end up getting hurt and Coach may indeed be out there dating tons of other women and only want to "have a good time" with me, but if that is the case I have read him way wrong. Not to say I haven't made mistakes in the past and gotten taken advantage of, but if I can't trust myownself, how in the world could I ever trust anyone else? I am going against ALL the advice I am getting on this one, and to all of you I say, fine, whatever, you get to say I told you so if you are right...but I have to do what feels right to me. It has taken me 35 years to get to a place where I trust myself and have the courage to trust others, and sure, it sets me up to get hurt, but it also opens me up to the possibility of something great.

I am willing to take the chance on that. Match isn't going away, I have a six month subscription, if things don't work out I can always go back to it and start over. In the meantime, I will try and keep from getting burned.