Day 21: Give blood...(day 20 was watch a movie with a kick-ass female lead...nah, but I did watch The Bachelorette and Jillian is pretty kick ass) uhm, NO. Y'all are welcome to, matter of fact I encourage it...I will not. I happen to not be able to because of my weight and a prior immunization which prevents me from being able so I have no guilt about NOT giving, but even so, I probably wouldn't. Whole thing skeeves me out...just thinking about a needle in my arm *shudder* makes me want to pass out.
Ok, so...drum roll please...............I finally worked up the courage (the beers and Booya helped) to go back to Match.com and sign up...this time for real, set up a profile, gave 'em my credit card and everything. I know...I am a little stunned myself. Tossed and turned all night, thinking about all the things on my profile I should change...wondering if I sounded like an ass, looked like an ass...re-thinkin, re-considering. I woke up this morning a little panicked knowing it would be at least 8pm tonight before I could go back and change it. Did I sound too snarky? Should I have said more, said less? How do you "sell" yourself without sounding like a self-obsessed doucheapotomus? And am I ready for all this? Really ready? Well turns out Match doesn't think so...they REJECTED my profile.
Stop laughing.
Got to work this morning, and following the "Welcome to Match! Happy searching!" blah, blah, blah email was a "We are sorry to inform you..." email. WTF? Seriously...
Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot. I am PISSED.
Of course there is no specific reason just a here is a list of reasons why your profile MAY have been rejected...here they are:
* All information provided must be accurate and current (I was honest to a fault, maybe I should have lied like everyone else apparently does)
* Must be in English (ok so I am not the best in terms of grammar and such, but it resembled English..more so than any other language anyway)
* You must be single or separated from your spouse (roger that, and yeah)
* Do not include detailed personal information (ie: your last name, street address, contact information, date of birth, etc.) to help protect your online anonymity (duh)
* Do not include any language which could be considered defamatory or offensive in any way (ok sarcastic and snarky is not offensive, and I swear I didn't cuss...wait...are "piss" and "crap" offensive?...hmmm, I dunno)
* No solicitation (shit, that's where I went wrong...kidding, again, duh)
* No website addresses (no problem there...gonna make sure I get 'em good and smitten before I let them read this blog...mooohaahahahahahahahaaaa)
* You must be at least 18 years old (I gave them my effing birthday for cryin' out loud!)
Dating and being rejected by MEN is hard enough...I don't think my ego can handle being rejected by a WEBSITE...I mean really...brutal....any suggestions? Any advice? Do I bag it, once again, and tell Match to eff off or do I go re-write my profile...should I take this as a sign that online dating is not for me and hope for another purty marine to walk my way or suck it up and adhere to their "rules" which I'm still not sure I broke.
Is it possible I effed up my karma by not ever giving blood? Is there a no blood, no booty rule?
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Three words: nun-er-y.
ReplyDeleteDr. Cox
Seriously folks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress and try the veal.
Dr Cox,
ReplyDeleteO.M.G! what a coincidence! shortly after being rejected by Match I looked into joining a convent and guess what? REJECTED...I don't get it. Luckily, Match came through, it wasn't pretty, I had to beg, but they are hookin me up already...I got an Angry guy and a Playah and they both look AWESOME...I'm excited.