yucky nekkid touching

Had my annual grope and feel this morning...ya know, lady bit inspection...uck. As far as lady bit doctors go mine is THE BEST and the office is great, (they give you chocolate!!! no, not kidding, ladies if you want the skinny email me and I will tell you where) but as far as nekkid touchin goes, that is definitely the UNfun kind. Also, with my aversion to all things medical I, of course, caused a scene...that was fun. Got a little nervous, as I usually do, right about the time she decided to prick my finger...welllll, then she took my blood pressure, which was near stroking...which upon me hearing that, dropped to near dead, as I started to pass out. The nurse was kinda freaking out cuz she didn't have my chart right in front of her (which has in big RED letters: NERVOUS PATIENT, FAINTER) so didn't realize this was just par for the course and not knowing whether my blood pressure was always whacko crazy or her fault, was a little scared. Well, I was able to tell her this was normal and to just gimme a few minutes and take it again, and she says "You do yoga right? Do some yoga." Huh...well yeah, but right here? At the nurses station? Eh, WTF, so I did...about two minutes, with the breathing and WHATTYA KNOW...shit works. BP was normal after that and I felt fine. Always been a big fan of the yoga, but wow...good to know...if you see some lady striking a warrior pose in Walmart one day you know its just me, trying to keep from stroking out or killing someone.

Back when I made the appointment, I also made an appointment for a massage...I figured I could erase the bad memories of yucky nekkid touching with some good ol' happy nekkid touching. I LOOOOOVE massages....love them. I'm a big fan of the massage by a significant other, of course, but have yet to find a man who will give more than about a minute and a half if there is any chance of it being followed by happy fun time. When I need to actually get my muscles worked on and get some tension out of my system, I go to a real (she has papers and ever'thang) massage therapist. Mine happens to be most excellent AND cheap so I CANNOT tell you who she is or you would want to go to her too, and I can barely get an appointment when I need one as it is. I can't afford to go often, but with her I can at least go some, and today was one of those days I knew I would need it. She said I was a bit (and by that I mean she beat the hell out of me for an hour and still I had knots) tense...I didn't tell her where I had just come from for fear that the knots that she HAD worked out would reappear. Ok, so done with the massage and since no afternoon coffee date I figured, WTH, I will get a facial...and well hell, while I am here why not get my hair did. I ended up having a FABULOUS day, and now I even have fabulous hair...yay me.

Gonna close by jumping up on a soap box here for just a sec and say this: I HATE, HATE, HATE the doctor (do I need to repeat that?) and yet I GO, religiously every year...it is important to make sure all the parts are working and to assess any changes, so if I can do it, you can too...there are some out there (and you know who you are) who don't go...GO DAMNIT...the people who love you want you to stick around awhile and catching things early can make it easier to make them go away. I'm not talking JUST about the ladies either...seriously guys...get the pieces and parts, the heart and the lungs, the whole deal-e-o checked out. GO...and then if you wanna get a massage, a facial, and your hair did after, don't worry, I won't tell anyone.