It's Christmas Eve...I am supposed to be packing. The Pea and I are headed up north tomorrow to see the family, play in the snow, and get away from here. Not that things here have been bad, on the contrary, the past week has been great, but a trip out of town will make it even better. This is my first holiday season in TWENTY years that I haven't had a lover, boyfriend, or husband...I thought it would be harder. The Pea is with her dad, and I expected tonight to be awful. I thought I would be drunk by now, watching some ridiculous chick flick and sobbing, and while I did cry a little saying goodnight to the Pea, I haven't had a bit to drink, and I've been watching tv while doing laundry. I am enjoying the peace and quiet and time to myself to reflect and think.
I got to fly the other day, and for a frustrated non-flying pilot like myself, there could not have been a better present. I got the best birthday and best Christmas presents ever, both in the same year. I was sitting in the right seat, expecting only to make a few radio calls, maybe a turn or two and the next thing I knew the airplane was mine. As we started our descent I kept expecting to have to give the airplane back, and while I didn't exactly have total control (or land center line) I made a decent landing. As we turned off the runway onto the taxiway I couldn't help but think how much like great sex it was...my legs were shaking, my heart beating, I was sweaty and exhilarated and happy...I swear I didn't come off that high for hours. If I just had an extra $3 million lyin' around to buy an airplane I wouldn't ever need a man again...hmmmm.
Yeah, not so much...while I think this time by myself is a good thing, and I am enjoying it, I do hope by next year to have a man in my life. I want to have someone to spend the holidays with...to help me put up the tree (and take it down), to dance with on my birthday, to make love to on Christmas Eve, to kiss at midnight on New Year's. If this year has taught me anything though, it's that not having a man for all of it, is better than having one that isn't right for me...
Well on that note, I guess I'll sign off...off to pack, get some sleep and get ready for the battle that is flying commercial with a three year old in tow...and with all that, it's probably a good thing I don't have anyone to make love to tonight.
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
best present ever
I got the best birthday present EVER a few hours ago and wanted to write it down so I would never forget. I took my baby girl out to dinner and as the waiter brought out a strawberry shortcake for us to share (she ordered) the Pea broke out with (all by herself)...
"Happy boo-day to you, happy boo-day to you, happy boo-day MOMMY, happy boo-day to you...(both arms up) YAY!"
O.M.G.
"Happy boo-day to you, happy boo-day to you, happy boo-day MOMMY, happy boo-day to you...(both arms up) YAY!"
O.M.G.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
the perfect hump day
I'm at work, after taking the morning off to see the Pea perform in her school Christmas show. Wow, it is amazing what an extra few hours in the day can do...I had a nice relaxing morning, took my time getting ready and getting the Pea to school, went for coffee, and was able to sit down and enjoy it, which was great, and I don't think anyone here even missed me...wish I could work half days every day.
Anyway...O.M.G. two, three, and four year olds singing and dancing, ridiculously cute. Of course the start of the show is something akin to herding chickens, but once they all settled in, took their places and started singing, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. One two year old in particular, she happened to be the tiniest child there, threw down to Jingle Bells in what can only be described as a LOL booty dance...one of the three year olds picked her nose, and I mean went to town diggin', during the entire second verse of Santa Clause is Coming to Town, and then studied what she had excavated during the third...and one of the four year olds cried the entire time for his mom, who was standing in the audience taking pictures and saying "smile honey, it's ok, mommy's right here!"
DH was there, which was great for the Pea, and what I have always wanted for her (both her parents involved) but was a little uncomfortable for me. I think we were both trying to be on our best behavior, be nice for the Pea's sake, he even complimented me as we were leaving, he said I looked pretty. I had put a little extra into my appearance this morning, both for the show and because I was going to get my license renewed and didn't want another HEINOUS picture like last time, but having him recognize it and compliment me felt strange. I don't think either of us have complimented or even spoke nicely to each other in a year. It's funny, just a few years ago, I would have given my right arm for a compliment, to hear that I "looked pretty," now, while it's nice, it doesn't have the same effect. I used to NEED compliments to feel good, now they are just icing.
So yeah...speaking of the dreaded drivers license renewal...got mine done today and it was rather painless. I drive by a DMV every day on my way to work, it's about ten minutes from here and it is always way less crowded than the ones in town where I live. Knowing I would have some time to kill after the show and before I needed to get here I planned to stop today so I wouldn't be driving around with an expired license for who knows how long. I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN LINE WHEN I GOT THERE...granted I still had to wait, I think there is a rule that even if there is no one ahead of you and an employee is available they make you, just to keep you on your toes. I didn't care, cuz the last few times I have tried, I walked in and right back out because there were at least two dozen people ahead of me. Well, long story short, the extra time on my hair and the application of makeup paid off because UNLIKE last time, my picture this time is NOT heinous. It isn't good, but it isn't heinous...as far as I'm concerned, that new license can be the ONLY new thing I get for my birthday, and it will be enough.
Anyway...O.M.G. two, three, and four year olds singing and dancing, ridiculously cute. Of course the start of the show is something akin to herding chickens, but once they all settled in, took their places and started singing, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. One two year old in particular, she happened to be the tiniest child there, threw down to Jingle Bells in what can only be described as a LOL booty dance...one of the three year olds picked her nose, and I mean went to town diggin', during the entire second verse of Santa Clause is Coming to Town, and then studied what she had excavated during the third...and one of the four year olds cried the entire time for his mom, who was standing in the audience taking pictures and saying "smile honey, it's ok, mommy's right here!"
DH was there, which was great for the Pea, and what I have always wanted for her (both her parents involved) but was a little uncomfortable for me. I think we were both trying to be on our best behavior, be nice for the Pea's sake, he even complimented me as we were leaving, he said I looked pretty. I had put a little extra into my appearance this morning, both for the show and because I was going to get my license renewed and didn't want another HEINOUS picture like last time, but having him recognize it and compliment me felt strange. I don't think either of us have complimented or even spoke nicely to each other in a year. It's funny, just a few years ago, I would have given my right arm for a compliment, to hear that I "looked pretty," now, while it's nice, it doesn't have the same effect. I used to NEED compliments to feel good, now they are just icing.
So yeah...speaking of the dreaded drivers license renewal...got mine done today and it was rather painless. I drive by a DMV every day on my way to work, it's about ten minutes from here and it is always way less crowded than the ones in town where I live. Knowing I would have some time to kill after the show and before I needed to get here I planned to stop today so I wouldn't be driving around with an expired license for who knows how long. I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN LINE WHEN I GOT THERE...granted I still had to wait, I think there is a rule that even if there is no one ahead of you and an employee is available they make you, just to keep you on your toes. I didn't care, cuz the last few times I have tried, I walked in and right back out because there were at least two dozen people ahead of me. Well, long story short, the extra time on my hair and the application of makeup paid off because UNLIKE last time, my picture this time is NOT heinous. It isn't good, but it isn't heinous...as far as I'm concerned, that new license can be the ONLY new thing I get for my birthday, and it will be enough.
Monday, December 15, 2008
two things
Don't really have the brain power for a witty or even sorta well thought out posting so just gonna comment on two things...
One, George W. gettin' shoes thrown at his head. I heard the story on my ride into work this morning...they said he got pegged in the head with the shoes (thrown by an Iraqi reporter, in case you hadn't heard), and while it struck me as ridiculously funny and I was laughing out loud, I have learned you can't always believe everything you hear on the radio. So, I watched the video, and well, he didn't actually get pegged, he ducked, and while it was still pretty damn funny, the thought occurred, "WTF? The secret service are supposed to stop BULLETS and they couldn't stop a SECOND shoe from flying across the room." It's a good thing ol' GW is still pretty spry...
Ok, two, every week after the doughnut run the Pea and I do our weekly shopping...would it be easier to do it without her, of course, but it isn't an option so I take her, I make do, and since I am getting more creative with the discipline and she is getting better behaved it really isn't that bad. Well, I had to call DH today to sort out some stuff and when I asked if he had time to talk he said "Yeah, I'm just at the store, it's IMPOSSIBLE to shop with the Pea so I'm doing it now before I pick her up." Oh really? I wouldn't know...
That's all I got, just wanted to share.
One, George W. gettin' shoes thrown at his head. I heard the story on my ride into work this morning...they said he got pegged in the head with the shoes (thrown by an Iraqi reporter, in case you hadn't heard), and while it struck me as ridiculously funny and I was laughing out loud, I have learned you can't always believe everything you hear on the radio. So, I watched the video, and well, he didn't actually get pegged, he ducked, and while it was still pretty damn funny, the thought occurred, "WTF? The secret service are supposed to stop BULLETS and they couldn't stop a SECOND shoe from flying across the room." It's a good thing ol' GW is still pretty spry...
Ok, two, every week after the doughnut run the Pea and I do our weekly shopping...would it be easier to do it without her, of course, but it isn't an option so I take her, I make do, and since I am getting more creative with the discipline and she is getting better behaved it really isn't that bad. Well, I had to call DH today to sort out some stuff and when I asked if he had time to talk he said "Yeah, I'm just at the store, it's IMPOSSIBLE to shop with the Pea so I'm doing it now before I pick her up." Oh really? I wouldn't know...
That's all I got, just wanted to share.
Monday, December 8, 2008
rambling
Ok day today...just got to Booya's after a little Christmas shopping detour. JD is headed to Afghanistan and I have designated him pack mule for the little goodie bags I'm sending. If you have ever spent a holiday on the road without your family you know how bad it can suck, well spend that holiday in THE most godforsaken place (other than maybe Sudan) on the planet, and well, I think you deserve a medal. Didn't find any medals, but I did find the tiniest Christmas tree EVER and a bunch of other cool stuff. I went out in search of presents for JJ and Boo...they still have nothing. I, on the other hand, have a new pair of Seven jeans (I may have to eat Ramen noodles for the rest of the month, but my ass will look fierce) and my boys have the above mentioned.
So I watched a pretty cool movie last night, Garden State. It wasn't at all what I expected, but it was very good. The soundtrack was GREAT. The guy from Scrubs (Zach B) wrote, directed and starred in it. It has a love story in it, and some quirky humor, but it is definitely NOT a romantic comedy. I managed to get all the laundry done while watching but my house is still thrashed and I have no idea what I packed to wear tomorrow...come to think of it, I have no idea what I packed for the Pea either...oopsie.
Well, nothin' like rambling incessantly about absolutely nothing...guess I better sign off and call it a night, maybe I will have something interesting to write tomorrow.
So I watched a pretty cool movie last night, Garden State. It wasn't at all what I expected, but it was very good. The soundtrack was GREAT. The guy from Scrubs (Zach B) wrote, directed and starred in it. It has a love story in it, and some quirky humor, but it is definitely NOT a romantic comedy. I managed to get all the laundry done while watching but my house is still thrashed and I have no idea what I packed to wear tomorrow...come to think of it, I have no idea what I packed for the Pea either...oopsie.
Well, nothin' like rambling incessantly about absolutely nothing...guess I better sign off and call it a night, maybe I will have something interesting to write tomorrow.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
sunday morning
Well, we are back from the Sunday morning doughnut run already...little early for my taste, but the Pea was up at 5:30 and was ready to go. I am dragging, I am coming down with a cold and I feel like shit...everyone at work was sick last week and I was hoping to avoid getting it, but looks like I wasn't so lucky this time...yet another reminder I am not taking as good a care of myself as I should. I am already dreading going in tomorrow because I know there is no way I will get enough rest today to get feeling better.
Ok, well on another, better note...the other night I watched (again) that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie turns 35...last time I watched it I focused on the birthday aspect, when she ends up alone and sad and only saw the happy ending (where Big shows up) further evidence that my own birthday night would suck since no tall, dark, handsome man is gonna show up on my doorstep...this time I was able to see the real story line, which was the idea of soul mates. I was able to see the optimism in the episode rather than just the alone part. Toward the end, when Carrie is sitting in the diner with the girls and she says that sitting in the restaurant alone just made her want a man, a soul mate, someone she knew she could count on and Charlotte responds with something to the effect of "why can't we be each others soul mates and just have really great guys in our lives to have fun with" I thought about my girlfriends, my sister, even my Pea. They are my soul mates...they are the ones who complete me and make me feel whole, they are the ones I call when I need to talk, even if I don't have anything to say.
So, I got to thinkin' again about my birthday, and I intend to make the most of it this year. Instead of focusing on the negative in my life right now I am going to focus on the positive...the good stuff, and I am going to treat myself. Yesterday I booked a whole day at the spa...I still had the gift certificate I won at the Sex and the City premiere party (kinda ironic huh?) so I booked it. I will get up on the morning I turn 35, head over to the spa and emerge 6 hours later massaged, pedicured, facialed (don't think that is a word) and well fed with freshly colored and cut hair, ready to head out for a night on the town...with the girls...and if I spot any really great guys to have fun with? Well who knows...
Ok, well on another, better note...the other night I watched (again) that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie turns 35...last time I watched it I focused on the birthday aspect, when she ends up alone and sad and only saw the happy ending (where Big shows up) further evidence that my own birthday night would suck since no tall, dark, handsome man is gonna show up on my doorstep...this time I was able to see the real story line, which was the idea of soul mates. I was able to see the optimism in the episode rather than just the alone part. Toward the end, when Carrie is sitting in the diner with the girls and she says that sitting in the restaurant alone just made her want a man, a soul mate, someone she knew she could count on and Charlotte responds with something to the effect of "why can't we be each others soul mates and just have really great guys in our lives to have fun with" I thought about my girlfriends, my sister, even my Pea. They are my soul mates...they are the ones who complete me and make me feel whole, they are the ones I call when I need to talk, even if I don't have anything to say.
So, I got to thinkin' again about my birthday, and I intend to make the most of it this year. Instead of focusing on the negative in my life right now I am going to focus on the positive...the good stuff, and I am going to treat myself. Yesterday I booked a whole day at the spa...I still had the gift certificate I won at the Sex and the City premiere party (kinda ironic huh?) so I booked it. I will get up on the morning I turn 35, head over to the spa and emerge 6 hours later massaged, pedicured, facialed (don't think that is a word) and well fed with freshly colored and cut hair, ready to head out for a night on the town...with the girls...and if I spot any really great guys to have fun with? Well who knows...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
happy hugging
Today is International Hug Day...how do I know this? Well my sign in page on Google has been customized to include not only the news, weather, horoscope, and Gmail, but also "Today's Reason to Drink" and "Bonehead of the Day Award." I thought I would add those to get an occasional laugh or pick me up when I needed one...to be honest, so far they have mostly been lame, but this morning, the reason to drink was International Hug Day. Bonehead of the day is Dollar Tree stores but that's beside the point. Ok, so I guess the idea is to go around hugging people.
I happen to be a hugger, I am one of those people who always greet others with a hug...of course when faced with a non-hugger, this sometimes makes for awkward moments. I also happen to be short so EVERYONE is taller than me which means if I go in and they pull back I am up on my tippy toes falling forward arms outstretched feeling foolish...especially bad when drunk. I have become particularly generous with the hugs in the last year since: one, I am not getting any smooches (and lets face it smooching beats hugging most of the time) and two, because MiMi says everyone needs 13 hugs a day...she always ended our sessions with a big ol' (usually me sobbing into her shoulder) bear hug.
So we know there are huggers and non-huggers, but have you ever noticed there are people who can openly throw out terms of endearment and then the rest of us. You know those ladies, usually in food service or health care who call you honey, or darlin' or sugar...I love those women. The lady who works the drive-thru at the bank I go to everyday always greets me with "Well hey there darlin'!" and it always makes me smile. The woman who works the drive-thru at the Dunkin Donuts I go to calls me sweetheart. Now I know they call everyone who comes through that, but I love it, and it makes me feel good. If I try to call anyone (other than the Pea or close friends) an endearment it always sounds weird and fake. Why is it that some people can throw it out there and make the receiver feel good, while others (like me and the creepy guy at the jiffylube) end up sounding awkward? Something to ponder...
Well while you ponder, I am gonna get to work...OR I could go find someone to hug...maybe my boss? Give him a hug, call him sugar...that wouldn't be awkward AT ALL. :)
I happen to be a hugger, I am one of those people who always greet others with a hug...of course when faced with a non-hugger, this sometimes makes for awkward moments. I also happen to be short so EVERYONE is taller than me which means if I go in and they pull back I am up on my tippy toes falling forward arms outstretched feeling foolish...especially bad when drunk. I have become particularly generous with the hugs in the last year since: one, I am not getting any smooches (and lets face it smooching beats hugging most of the time) and two, because MiMi says everyone needs 13 hugs a day...she always ended our sessions with a big ol' (usually me sobbing into her shoulder) bear hug.
So we know there are huggers and non-huggers, but have you ever noticed there are people who can openly throw out terms of endearment and then the rest of us. You know those ladies, usually in food service or health care who call you honey, or darlin' or sugar...I love those women. The lady who works the drive-thru at the bank I go to everyday always greets me with "Well hey there darlin'!" and it always makes me smile. The woman who works the drive-thru at the Dunkin Donuts I go to calls me sweetheart. Now I know they call everyone who comes through that, but I love it, and it makes me feel good. If I try to call anyone (other than the Pea or close friends) an endearment it always sounds weird and fake. Why is it that some people can throw it out there and make the receiver feel good, while others (like me and the creepy guy at the jiffylube) end up sounding awkward? Something to ponder...
Well while you ponder, I am gonna get to work...OR I could go find someone to hug...maybe my boss? Give him a hug, call him sugar...that wouldn't be awkward AT ALL. :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
whew
The office is quiet...just me and the cleaning lady. I always come in early on Tuesdays, but today it was especially important because I wasn't able to do anything at my desk yesterday. I had a crazy busy day with all kinds of running and stuff to do out of the office...I think I spent a total of 30 minutes at my desk...as a result, I have a stack of files and mail that I need to tend to before the day starts.
The last few days have been good...it was nice to get back to work yesterday, I had forgotten how exhausting staying at home with a kid can be. I love being with her, spending time and doing fun stuff, but wow...between her and mom, I was exhausted and ready to get back here. Managed to get my Christmas tree up and decorated over the weekend...it was a good thing mom was there; I am not the biggest, strongest, or most patient girl on the planet, and while I wrestled (and cussed) the tree, she wrestled the Pea. I honestly don't know how I would have managed to do it by myself with the Pea, there would have been a casualty, no doubt...well, luckily she was there, there were no casualties, we all came out unscathed, and I have a lovely 9 foot tall tree, decked out in all my favorite ornaments. Of course, taking it down by myself could be problematic...
Well, things here are starting to get busy...guess I better go or this stack of stuff on my desk will still be here tomorrow.
The last few days have been good...it was nice to get back to work yesterday, I had forgotten how exhausting staying at home with a kid can be. I love being with her, spending time and doing fun stuff, but wow...between her and mom, I was exhausted and ready to get back here. Managed to get my Christmas tree up and decorated over the weekend...it was a good thing mom was there; I am not the biggest, strongest, or most patient girl on the planet, and while I wrestled (and cussed) the tree, she wrestled the Pea. I honestly don't know how I would have managed to do it by myself with the Pea, there would have been a casualty, no doubt...well, luckily she was there, there were no casualties, we all came out unscathed, and I have a lovely 9 foot tall tree, decked out in all my favorite ornaments. Of course, taking it down by myself could be problematic...
Well, things here are starting to get busy...guess I better go or this stack of stuff on my desk will still be here tomorrow.
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