Earlier today:
The Pea: "Mommy, are you a vampire?"
Me: "Uhm, no?" (WTH?!)
The Pea: "Hmmmm, are you a werewolf?"
Me: "NO! Why are you asking me, that's absurd."
The Pea: "You have sharp teeth, and I was just wondering."
Well that explains it then...
I thought, in light of that little conversation, I would go ahead and write down a few of the conversations we have on a regular basis, or have had that stuck in my head. Hope you get a kick out of them, but I am doing it more for me, so I remember them when she is older and no longer talks to me because I am her mom, and therefore lame.
The Pea: "Are you pooping?"
I get this every time I go in a bathroom, any bathroom.
Every. Single. Time.
"MOOMMMMMYYYYYY!"
Running upstairs, convinced when I get there she will be missing a limb..."What baby?!"
"The fish is died." (No, that's not a typo)
Oh thank God, it's just the fish...peering in the little tank...
"Nope, baby he is fine...see now he is swimming, he must have been sleeping." Do fish sleep?
This little scenario gets repeated each night for the next three nights.
The fourth night: "MOOMMMMMMMYYYYY! HE'S DIED, HE REALLY DIED THIS TIME!"
From downstairs, because I am over it. "NO, he is not! He is not dead, stop saying that, just feed him and he will start swimming."
A few minutes later from behind me "Mom."
"WHAT?!"
"Mom, look." In her hand is the fish.
Oopsie...
"Oh, yeah, he's really dead."
"Told you."
Upon finding my brand new patio furniture already starting to fall apart "Ahhh shit."
Without missing a beat: "Mom, shit is a bad word."
The other day riding in the car, out of nowhere:
"You can't ride in my Lamborghini cuz your butt's too big and the seat's too teeny."
"What are you singing?!"
And again, "You can't ride in my Lamborghini cuz your butt's too big and the seat's too teeny!"
?!?
Getting ready for camp, gathering all her stuff:
"Mom, I'm going to take God to camp today."
"Oh yeah? In your heart?"
"No, in my backpack."
"Oh really? Hmmmm."
Curious.
"Can I see?"
Big sigh, "Sure." Which sounds like Shuah*
And out of her backpack comes Jesus.
(Little background: My Aunt is a nun, she gave her a Jesus doll a few years ago at Christmas, I had forgotten about the doll until that moment.)
*A few more examples of how she says certain words:
Bird=Buhd
Car=Cah
Umbrella=Umbungha (this cracks me up)
Sister=Sistah
World=Wuhld
Water=Watah
Yellow=Lellow
Girl=Guhl
"Mom."
"What baby."
"What is dissipate?"
Yikes...uhm, ok "Well...it is when something kind of just goes away."
"Like dies?"
"No, no, jeez, uhm, ok...ya know when you fart (it was all I could think of at the moment) and at first it smells bad, but then it kind of just goes away? Well, it dissipates."
"Oh."
A few seconds pass, I see her thinking, she is scrunching up her face, and then:
"Well then how in the wuhld am I going to dissipate in graduation?"
And finally, one of my favorites:
"Youah the bestest mommy evah."
"Aww, thanks baby, you're the best daughter ever."
"I know."
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
lift off
Yesterday I watched the launch of the Space Shuttle Atlantis. I am lucky enough to work for a company that allows us to take a few hours a week to work out and my gym has tv screens at each treadmill. I raced to the gym yesterday at 11a.m. staked out the treadmill I wanted, which was really not a problem since there was only one other person in the whole place, and flipped to the news. I power walked through the countdown, and the delay, and then as I watched it liftoff, held my breath and started to cry. Not ugly sobbing cry (cuz that would have been weird) just shed a few tears for the end of an era.
I watched the very first shuttle launch as a kid, and can remember it like it was yesterday. I wanted to be a pilot, and to pilot the fastest, most technologically advanced aircraft into and back from space, well, that would have been the ultimate. I was, however, a scrawny, asthmatic girl, so after telling a few people (my father for one) of that dream, and being told in no uncertain terms that that was ridiculous, I just kept my little dream to myself.
The buildup to the launch was all over the news and I was obsessed, I wanted to be there, but since that wasn't an option, I was damn sure gonna watch it on tv. I couldn't sleep at all the night before...I didn't have an alarm clock, someone always woke me up, and I was told that no one was getting up to watch it, so I wasn't allowed. I tossed and turned getting up every half hour or so to see what time it was, and finally at just before 4a.m. I snuck downstairs and turned on the tv. I remember sitting right in front of it, with my legs crossed, leaning forward so I could hear (I knew if anyone got woken up because I had the tv on, I would be in deep shit). T-minus 6 I started holding my breath, then watched with amazement as it rose in the air. I wanted to applaud, I wanted to jump up and down, I wanted to run upstairs and tell my father what I had just saw and I wanted him to be just as excited as me. Instead I just sat there for awhile, and kept watching, and then turned off the tv and went back to bed. I looked it up yesterday, because I wanted to make sure I had remembered it right, and because I was curious to see how old I was at the time, and if it really did happen at 4a.m. like I remembered.
The Space Shuttle Columbia's first launch was April 12, 1981 at 0600 CST. I would have been 7, and since I lived on the west coast, it would have been 0400 local.
I also watched the launch of the Challenger...which for my generation became the "where were you when..." like the Kennedy assassination had been for the previous generations. I was in 7th grade science class, and my teacher was obsessed like I had been, had even applied to be the one who got to go up as part of the teacher in space program. She dragged in one of those tvs on a cart, set it up in front of the class, and we all watched. I remember how excited she was, she wouldn't stop fidgeting or talking, and she kept saying how this was history we were watching. When it blew up the whole class just sat there...we weren't quite sure what had happened, or what it really meant, we were all just stunned. The teacher started to cry, no one knew what to do, and then the bell rang and scared the crap out of us.
The only other memorable launch for me was one I was able to catch from the cockpit of an airliner. We were flying from Miami to Raleigh and the pilots called me up to see something. The three of us watched as it rose from what seemed like directly underneath us to above us and out of sight. I couldn't tell you which one it was, or what mission, but it is one of those experiences that I feel lucky to have had.
I am sad the program is ending...I think it is ridiculous that we are going to pay the Russians to take us into space when we can take ourselves, and I am perplexed with the reasoning that allows thousands of skilled, incredibly intelligent people to lose their jobs...doesn't make sense to me to have them on the unemployment payroll when they could be creating something, discovering something, or inspiring someone (a 7 year old girl perhaps?) by keeping their job.
I wonder what the true cost, long term, will be, to ending the program.
I watched the very first shuttle launch as a kid, and can remember it like it was yesterday. I wanted to be a pilot, and to pilot the fastest, most technologically advanced aircraft into and back from space, well, that would have been the ultimate. I was, however, a scrawny, asthmatic girl, so after telling a few people (my father for one) of that dream, and being told in no uncertain terms that that was ridiculous, I just kept my little dream to myself.
The buildup to the launch was all over the news and I was obsessed, I wanted to be there, but since that wasn't an option, I was damn sure gonna watch it on tv. I couldn't sleep at all the night before...I didn't have an alarm clock, someone always woke me up, and I was told that no one was getting up to watch it, so I wasn't allowed. I tossed and turned getting up every half hour or so to see what time it was, and finally at just before 4a.m. I snuck downstairs and turned on the tv. I remember sitting right in front of it, with my legs crossed, leaning forward so I could hear (I knew if anyone got woken up because I had the tv on, I would be in deep shit). T-minus 6 I started holding my breath, then watched with amazement as it rose in the air. I wanted to applaud, I wanted to jump up and down, I wanted to run upstairs and tell my father what I had just saw and I wanted him to be just as excited as me. Instead I just sat there for awhile, and kept watching, and then turned off the tv and went back to bed. I looked it up yesterday, because I wanted to make sure I had remembered it right, and because I was curious to see how old I was at the time, and if it really did happen at 4a.m. like I remembered.
The Space Shuttle Columbia's first launch was April 12, 1981 at 0600 CST. I would have been 7, and since I lived on the west coast, it would have been 0400 local.
I also watched the launch of the Challenger...which for my generation became the "where were you when..." like the Kennedy assassination had been for the previous generations. I was in 7th grade science class, and my teacher was obsessed like I had been, had even applied to be the one who got to go up as part of the teacher in space program. She dragged in one of those tvs on a cart, set it up in front of the class, and we all watched. I remember how excited she was, she wouldn't stop fidgeting or talking, and she kept saying how this was history we were watching. When it blew up the whole class just sat there...we weren't quite sure what had happened, or what it really meant, we were all just stunned. The teacher started to cry, no one knew what to do, and then the bell rang and scared the crap out of us.
The only other memorable launch for me was one I was able to catch from the cockpit of an airliner. We were flying from Miami to Raleigh and the pilots called me up to see something. The three of us watched as it rose from what seemed like directly underneath us to above us and out of sight. I couldn't tell you which one it was, or what mission, but it is one of those experiences that I feel lucky to have had.
I am sad the program is ending...I think it is ridiculous that we are going to pay the Russians to take us into space when we can take ourselves, and I am perplexed with the reasoning that allows thousands of skilled, incredibly intelligent people to lose their jobs...doesn't make sense to me to have them on the unemployment payroll when they could be creating something, discovering something, or inspiring someone (a 7 year old girl perhaps?) by keeping their job.
I wonder what the true cost, long term, will be, to ending the program.
Monday, July 4, 2011
red white and cranky
Is it possible for a 5 year old to have a nervous breakdown? If not, we are in the middle of the longest tantrum E-VER.
Every word has been whined, nothing is good enough or exactly what she wants, she is hot, she is cold, she can't get comfortable, and I am about to LOSE it.
I can't write because I can't concentrate.
The fireworks going off all over the place aren't helping. She wants to be out there enjoying the show, I want her to go the f*%! to sleep...neither of us are getting what we want. There are two cranky girls in NC tonight.
We had a good weekend, and got to celebrate our 4th yesterday, but I think I will plan on taking next 5th of July off. Truth is I want to be out there enjoying the show too, without having to worry about that alarm that is set to go off at 5:30 in the morning, and I suspect if we WERE out there, doing something fun, she would not be Miss Bratty Pants...or she would be, but I would have had enough "mommy juice" to think it was cute and laugh it off. Either way, much better moods all around, and a lesson learned for next year.
Happy 4th y'all!
Every word has been whined, nothing is good enough or exactly what she wants, she is hot, she is cold, she can't get comfortable, and I am about to LOSE it.
I can't write because I can't concentrate.
The fireworks going off all over the place aren't helping. She wants to be out there enjoying the show, I want her to go the f*%! to sleep...neither of us are getting what we want. There are two cranky girls in NC tonight.
We had a good weekend, and got to celebrate our 4th yesterday, but I think I will plan on taking next 5th of July off. Truth is I want to be out there enjoying the show too, without having to worry about that alarm that is set to go off at 5:30 in the morning, and I suspect if we WERE out there, doing something fun, she would not be Miss Bratty Pants...or she would be, but I would have had enough "mommy juice" to think it was cute and laugh it off. Either way, much better moods all around, and a lesson learned for next year.
Happy 4th y'all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
