Had my annual grope and feel this morning...ya know, lady bit inspection...uck. As far as lady bit doctors go mine is THE BEST and the office is great, (they give you chocolate!!! no, not kidding, ladies if you want the skinny email me and I will tell you where) but as far as nekkid touchin goes, that is definitely the UNfun kind. Also, with my aversion to all things medical I, of course, caused a scene...that was fun. Got a little nervous, as I usually do, right about the time she decided to prick my finger...welllll, then she took my blood pressure, which was near stroking...which upon me hearing that, dropped to near dead, as I started to pass out. The nurse was kinda freaking out cuz she didn't have my chart right in front of her (which has in big RED letters: NERVOUS PATIENT, FAINTER) so didn't realize this was just par for the course and not knowing whether my blood pressure was always whacko crazy or her fault, was a little scared. Well, I was able to tell her this was normal and to just gimme a few minutes and take it again, and she says "You do yoga right? Do some yoga." Huh...well yeah, but right here? At the nurses station? Eh, WTF, so I did...about two minutes, with the breathing and WHATTYA KNOW...shit works. BP was normal after that and I felt fine. Always been a big fan of the yoga, but wow...good to know...if you see some lady striking a warrior pose in Walmart one day you know its just me, trying to keep from stroking out or killing someone.
Back when I made the appointment, I also made an appointment for a massage...I figured I could erase the bad memories of yucky nekkid touching with some good ol' happy nekkid touching. I LOOOOOVE massages....love them. I'm a big fan of the massage by a significant other, of course, but have yet to find a man who will give more than about a minute and a half if there is any chance of it being followed by happy fun time. When I need to actually get my muscles worked on and get some tension out of my system, I go to a real (she has papers and ever'thang) massage therapist. Mine happens to be most excellent AND cheap so I CANNOT tell you who she is or you would want to go to her too, and I can barely get an appointment when I need one as it is. I can't afford to go often, but with her I can at least go some, and today was one of those days I knew I would need it. She said I was a bit (and by that I mean she beat the hell out of me for an hour and still I had knots) tense...I didn't tell her where I had just come from for fear that the knots that she HAD worked out would reappear. Ok, so done with the massage and since no afternoon coffee date I figured, WTH, I will get a facial...and well hell, while I am here why not get my hair did. I ended up having a FABULOUS day, and now I even have fabulous hair...yay me.
Gonna close by jumping up on a soap box here for just a sec and say this: I HATE, HATE, HATE the doctor (do I need to repeat that?) and yet I GO, religiously every year...it is important to make sure all the parts are working and to assess any changes, so if I can do it, you can too...there are some out there (and you know who you are) who don't go...GO DAMNIT...the people who love you want you to stick around awhile and catching things early can make it easier to make them go away. I'm not talking JUST about the ladies either...seriously guys...get the pieces and parts, the heart and the lungs, the whole deal-e-o checked out. GO...and then if you wanna get a massage, a facial, and your hair did after, don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
playing with fire
Saw Coach again last night...I swear the chemistry is off the chart...we don't just spark, we ignite. It is fun, and refreshing, and I am enjoying myself...problem is: I don't wanna do "the game." I don't want to continue dating or even talking to other men, because I want to see where things will go with him and I already have a loyalty to him. Booya thinks I am crazy, and that I should keep on going out and being the fun single girl cuz Coach is probably going out and hooking up all over the place and probably has no loyalty to me. According to most guys I know until you have "the talk" and having that talk before you have been dating for at least a few weeks is crazy, you are not exclusive and he owes you nothing. Well, yuck...that may be true, but I don't like it much, and I say, ok, fine then...maybe he doesn't owe me anything, but I owe it to myself to do what feels right, and it doesn't feel right to talk to other men, or go out on dates with other men, so I don't think I'm gonna.
The thought of even signing into Match at this point just seems weird. Apparently I am way off base and being silly, but I don't care. I may end up getting hurt and Coach may indeed be out there dating tons of other women and only want to "have a good time" with me, but if that is the case I have read him way wrong. Not to say I haven't made mistakes in the past and gotten taken advantage of, but if I can't trust myownself, how in the world could I ever trust anyone else? I am going against ALL the advice I am getting on this one, and to all of you I say, fine, whatever, you get to say I told you so if you are right...but I have to do what feels right to me. It has taken me 35 years to get to a place where I trust myself and have the courage to trust others, and sure, it sets me up to get hurt, but it also opens me up to the possibility of something great.
I am willing to take the chance on that. Match isn't going away, I have a six month subscription, if things don't work out I can always go back to it and start over. In the meantime, I will try and keep from getting burned.
The thought of even signing into Match at this point just seems weird. Apparently I am way off base and being silly, but I don't care. I may end up getting hurt and Coach may indeed be out there dating tons of other women and only want to "have a good time" with me, but if that is the case I have read him way wrong. Not to say I haven't made mistakes in the past and gotten taken advantage of, but if I can't trust myownself, how in the world could I ever trust anyone else? I am going against ALL the advice I am getting on this one, and to all of you I say, fine, whatever, you get to say I told you so if you are right...but I have to do what feels right to me. It has taken me 35 years to get to a place where I trust myself and have the courage to trust others, and sure, it sets me up to get hurt, but it also opens me up to the possibility of something great.
I am willing to take the chance on that. Match isn't going away, I have a six month subscription, if things don't work out I can always go back to it and start over. In the meantime, I will try and keep from getting burned.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
match.yuck part 2
Booya gave me a good ol' verbal slap last night and told me, in no uncertain terms, to GET MY HEAD OUTTA MY ASS. Or something like that anyway...he told me one: that saying straight up "hey, I like you" is not a bad thing and if he runs, well f*ck him, (which made me think of a previous post about growing she-balls and just saying what is on your mind instead of being so damn scared: http://crazyincarolina.blogspot.com/2009/05/writing-out-loud.html) and two: that I am supposed to be having fun with this Match thing and either do it or not, but stop agonizing cuz that is just dumb. Well, he is right OF COURSE (damnit) so after sending Coach a quick email letting him know that I DID in fact like him, and wanted to see more of him (without the "do you like me circle one") I started returning emails, accepted another date (although just coffee cuz I am still feeling a bit whorish about the whole deal) and checking out my matches.
I'm all feeling good, thinkin' I can do this, happy single girl, and decide to check out the "who has made you a favorite." For those of you not familiar, there are a couple of things you can do when looking at a profile page of a perspective match. You can wink at them, send them an email, or make them a favorite, or any combination. I have winked at 17 guys, emailed or returned emails of 10 or so, and made Coach a favorite. Now, I know everyone probably uses the system differently, some probably send out 17 winks a day, some don't at all. I am sure some use the favorite option while searching to remind themselves later to go back and email. In my mind a favorite means something, has some significance...I am sure that is not the case for everyone, BUT here is where it gets weird for me. I am thinking when I click on the "who has made you a favorite" button that the 8 guys who have will be ones that I have had some sort of connection with...NOPE. 3 of them emailed me and I specifically said "no thanks" in one case the dude was married, MARRIED and wanted to know if I would be interested IF he left his wife. First of all: eew...you don't effing know me, WTF is wrong with you, second: WTF is wrong with you!!!
Ok, so the other 5 guys have either emailed and I haven't responded or they have done NOTHING. Well, that just smacks of creepy to me. You have viewed my profile (in one case a BUNCH of times), do something, don't just keep looking at me. Although, since I am now skeeved, good luck. On the other hand neither of the guys I went out with, and none of the other ones I have had email conversations with, have made me a favorite...seriously messes with the mind, and now I am right back where I started at the beginning of the night. I wish they didn't even have that option, cuz of course now I am gonna keep checking it, and if the ones I WANT to don't, I will be bummed, and if the creeptacular dudes keep it up, I am finally just gonna get fed up and delete my profile altogether.
As much as I am "one of the guys" this Match thing is one arena I am officially all girl...I can't seem to check my estrogen at the door and jump in like Booya has, having all sorts of fun and talking to all sorts of people. I am struggling to not take anything personally, reject those that I don't want anything to do with, and not get a little jealous of those that I do, knowing they are out there going on a bunch of dates and getting a bunch of winks and emails. I wonder if the other girls on there have experienced and had the same thoughts and concerns as I have...I wonder if it goes away after you have been doing it awhile?
I wonder if after reading this post Booya will want to real live slap me upside the head...of course I would have to get it outta my ass, and apparently that hasn't happened yet.
I'm all feeling good, thinkin' I can do this, happy single girl, and decide to check out the "who has made you a favorite." For those of you not familiar, there are a couple of things you can do when looking at a profile page of a perspective match. You can wink at them, send them an email, or make them a favorite, or any combination. I have winked at 17 guys, emailed or returned emails of 10 or so, and made Coach a favorite. Now, I know everyone probably uses the system differently, some probably send out 17 winks a day, some don't at all. I am sure some use the favorite option while searching to remind themselves later to go back and email. In my mind a favorite means something, has some significance...I am sure that is not the case for everyone, BUT here is where it gets weird for me. I am thinking when I click on the "who has made you a favorite" button that the 8 guys who have will be ones that I have had some sort of connection with...NOPE. 3 of them emailed me and I specifically said "no thanks" in one case the dude was married, MARRIED and wanted to know if I would be interested IF he left his wife. First of all: eew...you don't effing know me, WTF is wrong with you, second: WTF is wrong with you!!!
Ok, so the other 5 guys have either emailed and I haven't responded or they have done NOTHING. Well, that just smacks of creepy to me. You have viewed my profile (in one case a BUNCH of times), do something, don't just keep looking at me. Although, since I am now skeeved, good luck. On the other hand neither of the guys I went out with, and none of the other ones I have had email conversations with, have made me a favorite...seriously messes with the mind, and now I am right back where I started at the beginning of the night. I wish they didn't even have that option, cuz of course now I am gonna keep checking it, and if the ones I WANT to don't, I will be bummed, and if the creeptacular dudes keep it up, I am finally just gonna get fed up and delete my profile altogether.
As much as I am "one of the guys" this Match thing is one arena I am officially all girl...I can't seem to check my estrogen at the door and jump in like Booya has, having all sorts of fun and talking to all sorts of people. I am struggling to not take anything personally, reject those that I don't want anything to do with, and not get a little jealous of those that I do, knowing they are out there going on a bunch of dates and getting a bunch of winks and emails. I wonder if the other girls on there have experienced and had the same thoughts and concerns as I have...I wonder if it goes away after you have been doing it awhile?
I wonder if after reading this post Booya will want to real live slap me upside the head...of course I would have to get it outta my ass, and apparently that hasn't happened yet.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
match.yuck
So, I don't know if I am cut out for this whole Match dating thing. When I started it, it was just a bunch of abstract guys, all seeming to want me, and ooh la la, fun. Well, now it is real...now I have met two of them, and one of them I like....now there are feelings, and questions, and confusion. Ok, so Matchdate #2, who is nickname worthy now so I will call Coach, and I had a great date last night...like I said earlier we exchanged a bunch of emails, a few phone conversations before hand, and the profile is pretty good about putting it all out there as far as general likes, dislikes, job, familial status, all that. All the stuff that could, if you just met someone out, take weeks to find out. If I HAD met him out, we sparked, and then went on a date, and had SINCE had all these emails and calls I would think we were at the start of a relationship...nothing serious of course, and not necessarily exclusive, but definitely starting something. With Match, I have NO IDEA...I don't know if he really likes me OR NOT, and to ask at this point would sound desperate and crazy, but at the same time I really want to know cuz I have 3 other emails in my inbox that I don't know how to respond to. I have 3 other seemingly great guys (although I have no idea, really) wanting to take me out this week. Do I go and see if there is a spark with them as well or turn them down and risk the Coach pulling the fade on me and being left high and dry? I know I should probably just go and have fun and all that, but that just isn't me. I don't want to go around smoochin' on a bunch of guys, or worse, sitting across the table from someone I have no desire to be with when I could be with friends or the Pea.
I wish it were like in 7th grade...I could send an email "I like you, do you like me...circle yes or no." Maybe I will send that suggestion to the folks at Match...have an after date questionnaire.
I wish it were like in 7th grade...I could send an email "I like you, do you like me...circle yes or no." Maybe I will send that suggestion to the folks at Match...have an after date questionnaire.
Monday, July 27, 2009
birthday
Happy Birthday Baby Tarheel!!!!!
Gigi and Tarheel welcomed their new baby into the world today...a little man...oooohhh, so cute. It was so nice holding a newborn again...you forget how tiny they are when they are born.
So Matchdate#2...wellll...I like him, I like him a lot...I think we had a great time, I did anyway, but who knows...I guess we will just have to see.
Gigi and Tarheel welcomed their new baby into the world today...a little man...oooohhh, so cute. It was so nice holding a newborn again...you forget how tiny they are when they are born.
So Matchdate#2...wellll...I like him, I like him a lot...I think we had a great time, I did anyway, but who knows...I guess we will just have to see.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
matchdate#1&2
Good weekend...can't complain...was able to reconnect with the Pea after what seemed like two weeks apart. Things have been so hectic and crazy, and because she spent last weekend with her dad, it seemed like we were drifting. She gets really fussy when she doesn't get her mommy time, so I made every attempt to just hang, and cuddle, and play. I did take a few hours out for myself for my Matchdate#1 though...it went well.
First off, he showed...so already better than previous attempts at dating. Second, he was pretty much exactly as I had expected. I have heard so many horror stories of people being NOTHING like their profiles I was ready for anything, but he was handsome, fit, and nice, so I was pleased. We had a good meal, talked for a few hours, and then he hugged me goodbye at my car. Not much of a spark, but he was kinda sexy, and very nice, so who knows.
I have Matchdate#2 tomorrow and am wicked excited, and very nervous at the same time. I already broke my "not gonna talk on the phone (other than to plan/coordinate a date) or do a million emails before we meet" rule. I really want to meet these guys in person cuz I am a gut girl...yeah, that didn't sound right...what I mean is: I get a feeling for people right off the bat, if I trust my gut, and I am rarely wrong. The problem is: if I end up liking a guy because we have great email and phone conversations, and then when I meet I get a bad gut reaction, I may not trust my gut, and that will get me in trouble. PLUS...even if he isn't a bad guy, if I really like his online personality and then in person he is a real dud, it will be a bummer.
I vowed when I started this to exchange ONLY a few emails, a brief phone call, and then meet. LOL...Matchdate #2 and I have 31 emails between us and an hour long phone call...tomorrow night should be interesting.
First off, he showed...so already better than previous attempts at dating. Second, he was pretty much exactly as I had expected. I have heard so many horror stories of people being NOTHING like their profiles I was ready for anything, but he was handsome, fit, and nice, so I was pleased. We had a good meal, talked for a few hours, and then he hugged me goodbye at my car. Not much of a spark, but he was kinda sexy, and very nice, so who knows.
I have Matchdate#2 tomorrow and am wicked excited, and very nervous at the same time. I already broke my "not gonna talk on the phone (other than to plan/coordinate a date) or do a million emails before we meet" rule. I really want to meet these guys in person cuz I am a gut girl...yeah, that didn't sound right...what I mean is: I get a feeling for people right off the bat, if I trust my gut, and I am rarely wrong. The problem is: if I end up liking a guy because we have great email and phone conversations, and then when I meet I get a bad gut reaction, I may not trust my gut, and that will get me in trouble. PLUS...even if he isn't a bad guy, if I really like his online personality and then in person he is a real dud, it will be a bummer.
I vowed when I started this to exchange ONLY a few emails, a brief phone call, and then meet. LOL...Matchdate #2 and I have 31 emails between us and an hour long phone call...tomorrow night should be interesting.
Friday, July 24, 2009
ManShop.com
I am totally over the breakup guide...Booya is off in happy fun rebound land, and I have taken to Match (which I am now calling ManShop.com) like a duck to water. The only things left on the breakup guide that look awesome are Day 25: Masturbate, and Day 30: Move on.
So, I have Match date #1 tomorrow...looking forward to it...my first real date in a million years. Super smarty me didn't give him my phone number either, so there will be no blow off by text...mooohahahahahaaa. I figure instead of giving nicknames right off the bat and using all the good ones before finding a keeper I would just refer to my dates by #...if I get into triple digits, shoot me...no, not really, but a good knock upside the head will probably be in order...you are all hereby given permission.
If I had any idea how much fun ManShop.com would be I would have done it so much sooner...it really is like dress shopping at TJMaxx...you gotta weed through a TON of seconds, rejects, defects, and wrong sizes, but when you find a good one it is so exciting you nearly pee. So far I have had email conversations with three guys who are really great (online...which reminds me of that country song and makes me laugh out loud)...I almost don't want to meet them in person for fear of blowing my happy little fantasies right out the water. I said ALMOST...I am getting hornier by the hour.
Good thing it is almost Day 25.
So, I have Match date #1 tomorrow...looking forward to it...my first real date in a million years. Super smarty me didn't give him my phone number either, so there will be no blow off by text...mooohahahahahaaa. I figure instead of giving nicknames right off the bat and using all the good ones before finding a keeper I would just refer to my dates by #...if I get into triple digits, shoot me...no, not really, but a good knock upside the head will probably be in order...you are all hereby given permission.
If I had any idea how much fun ManShop.com would be I would have done it so much sooner...it really is like dress shopping at TJMaxx...you gotta weed through a TON of seconds, rejects, defects, and wrong sizes, but when you find a good one it is so exciting you nearly pee. So far I have had email conversations with three guys who are really great (online...which reminds me of that country song and makes me laugh out loud)...I almost don't want to meet them in person for fear of blowing my happy little fantasies right out the water. I said ALMOST...I am getting hornier by the hour.
Good thing it is almost Day 25.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
a few laughs
Ok, real quick gonna do some sh*t that doesn't s#ck...three videos...ALL awesome...you MUST MUST MUST check them out:
Since I am "out there" dating now, and had my first profile rejected I thought I would go in search of some hints and ideas for the "perfect" profile...this one is just about PERFECT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ets0xkUk17Y
Ok...got this in an email from TWO different men in my life...HI-larious: http://www.snotr.com/video/2630
And last...I am a SUCKER for a funny commercial, even more so if it causes a bunch a folks to get their panties in a wad: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-quick-vid-what-tastes-better-a-holes-or-b-holes/
Ahahahahahahahha...enjoy!
Since I am "out there" dating now, and had my first profile rejected I thought I would go in search of some hints and ideas for the "perfect" profile...this one is just about PERFECT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ets0xkUk17Y
Ok...got this in an email from TWO different men in my life...HI-larious: http://www.snotr.com/video/2630
And last...I am a SUCKER for a funny commercial, even more so if it causes a bunch a folks to get their panties in a wad: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-quick-vid-what-tastes-better-a-holes-or-b-holes/
Ahahahahahahahha...enjoy!
NutterButter anyone?
Day 22 was Get Your Hair Did...I love to say that BTW...uhm, NO...it has taken me three and a half years to grow it out since chopping it all off (albeit to donate, but still) and it is finally lookin' good...not touchin' it, no how, no way. Booya is gettin' his hair did this morning, but since there is not a hair on his head more than a quarter of an inch long I am not sure exactly why...and yes, I realize I am now a day behind, sh*t happens...I happen to be very busy with my new job: Match.com.
Oh yeah, and you thought it was just a dating site...NO, NO...it is like a freakin' job, and since I can't look at it while I am at my REAL job, I am stuck "managing" it at night. Holy guacamole...once I finally got my profile up and all the pictures approved I was inundated with "winks" messages, "I'm interested" and emails...WOW...feelin' down, a little low, like no one likes you? Just send Match your credit card and before you know it you will think you are THE MOST popular person EVER. Granted, most of the guys are, how shall I say this...not my type, but, it is flattering nonetheless. I am sure once I am no longer the "new girl" things will slow down, but for now I am gonna just roll with it and date. I figure worst case: I will walk away with stories...lots and lots of stories...best case: I walk away with a man...I see no downsides.
I already have stories actually, and haven't even met anyone in person. Yesterday, after the profile finally got approved, I was sent "my matches" which are five guys who (supposedly) are perfect for me. One of them looked promising so I clicked on his profile to see more. Turns out MrBitter was doubtful he could find a woman who was capable of not lying, cheating, or whoring , BUT he was willing to give it a try, even though he didn't have time to date and had no interest in wining or dining cuz that just wasn't his style and any woman who wanted that could just "go away now" cuz he wasn't about to spend a bunch of money only to get betrayed and YES he did want to get remarried but only if he could find a woman who actually understood what that meant and could handle a husband who was a REAL MAN and liked to shoot guns and drive fast cars. I am paraphrasing...his rant actually sounded bitter. Clearly this dude was hurt, and prolly not ready to date, but hey, at least he was straight up honest about his blazing mistrust and hatred of women. I was sucked into an online chat with a seemingly normal, nice guy, only to find after many exchanges that he too really didn't like women all that much, especially if they didn't give it up right away, since that is all they are good for...I mean the nerve of some women (me) to want to get to know a guy before agreeing to sleep with him.
If I wasn't embarking on this journey along side Booya and able to see things from a guy's perspective I would have been horrified, incredulous, and shocked...seems there are a few nutty broads out there and if a guy spends any time at all (like a week or so) on the site he will get his fair share. I am gonna explain, don't worry. So Booya has had a few matches, made a few connections, talked to a few girls...they have ALL turned out to be nutters but the little lady I have taken to calling NutterButter takes the cake. See, Booya is an ass man, and upon finding this out (within oh 5 minutes or so of chatting with him online) she sends him a picture of hers. O-kaaay...but it is clothed, and hey, it isn't like everyone who walks behind her on a daily basis doesn't see the thing so why not. Well, Booya being a boy, he OF COURSE then asked (as a joke, except not really) to send him a picture without clothes. Ha ha, very funny, let's get to know each other first, make a joke about it right? NO, no, no...she UP AND SENDS IT. Well, I think ok, she dropped her drawers and snapped a pic of the hiney, whoopie, go Booya...again, NO, NO...she is porn star doggie style and buck nekkid and you can see it all.
WHAT?! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? Girlfriend, pleez...you have chil-ren, you have a job, have you heard of the INTERNET...it is this place whereby anyone can post anything for all the world to see. Now, I know Booya is not gonna take advantage of this girl or go bat shit crazy and stalk her but SHE DOESN'T. She has never met the man...he could be CRAY-ZEE (just like her! ouch that was mean)...but wait, THERE'S MORE! Last night she sent A VIDEO...I won't horrify you with the details...sweetie, darlin, bless your heart...uhm two words YOU TUBE. Yeah, and the thing that I am most baffled by is this: apparently this shit happens ALL THE TIME. I was so shocked by it I, of course, had to talk to all my man friends about it and they all, without any shock or horror upon hearing the story, confirmed that yes indeedy, ALL THE TIME.
Ladies and Gentleman, buckle your seat belts...we are in for a bumpy ride.
Oh yeah, and you thought it was just a dating site...NO, NO...it is like a freakin' job, and since I can't look at it while I am at my REAL job, I am stuck "managing" it at night. Holy guacamole...once I finally got my profile up and all the pictures approved I was inundated with "winks" messages, "I'm interested" and emails...WOW...feelin' down, a little low, like no one likes you? Just send Match your credit card and before you know it you will think you are THE MOST popular person EVER. Granted, most of the guys are, how shall I say this...not my type, but, it is flattering nonetheless. I am sure once I am no longer the "new girl" things will slow down, but for now I am gonna just roll with it and date. I figure worst case: I will walk away with stories...lots and lots of stories...best case: I walk away with a man...I see no downsides.
I already have stories actually, and haven't even met anyone in person. Yesterday, after the profile finally got approved, I was sent "my matches" which are five guys who (supposedly) are perfect for me. One of them looked promising so I clicked on his profile to see more. Turns out MrBitter was doubtful he could find a woman who was capable of not lying, cheating, or whoring , BUT he was willing to give it a try, even though he didn't have time to date and had no interest in wining or dining cuz that just wasn't his style and any woman who wanted that could just "go away now" cuz he wasn't about to spend a bunch of money only to get betrayed and YES he did want to get remarried but only if he could find a woman who actually understood what that meant and could handle a husband who was a REAL MAN and liked to shoot guns and drive fast cars. I am paraphrasing...his rant actually sounded bitter. Clearly this dude was hurt, and prolly not ready to date, but hey, at least he was straight up honest about his blazing mistrust and hatred of women. I was sucked into an online chat with a seemingly normal, nice guy, only to find after many exchanges that he too really didn't like women all that much, especially if they didn't give it up right away, since that is all they are good for...I mean the nerve of some women (me) to want to get to know a guy before agreeing to sleep with him.
If I wasn't embarking on this journey along side Booya and able to see things from a guy's perspective I would have been horrified, incredulous, and shocked...seems there are a few nutty broads out there and if a guy spends any time at all (like a week or so) on the site he will get his fair share. I am gonna explain, don't worry. So Booya has had a few matches, made a few connections, talked to a few girls...they have ALL turned out to be nutters but the little lady I have taken to calling NutterButter takes the cake. See, Booya is an ass man, and upon finding this out (within oh 5 minutes or so of chatting with him online) she sends him a picture of hers. O-kaaay...but it is clothed, and hey, it isn't like everyone who walks behind her on a daily basis doesn't see the thing so why not. Well, Booya being a boy, he OF COURSE then asked (as a joke, except not really) to send him a picture without clothes. Ha ha, very funny, let's get to know each other first, make a joke about it right? NO, no, no...she UP AND SENDS IT. Well, I think ok, she dropped her drawers and snapped a pic of the hiney, whoopie, go Booya...again, NO, NO...she is porn star doggie style and buck nekkid and you can see it all.
WHAT?! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? Girlfriend, pleez...you have chil-ren, you have a job, have you heard of the INTERNET...it is this place whereby anyone can post anything for all the world to see. Now, I know Booya is not gonna take advantage of this girl or go bat shit crazy and stalk her but SHE DOESN'T. She has never met the man...he could be CRAY-ZEE (just like her! ouch that was mean)...but wait, THERE'S MORE! Last night she sent A VIDEO...I won't horrify you with the details...sweetie, darlin, bless your heart...uhm two words YOU TUBE. Yeah, and the thing that I am most baffled by is this: apparently this shit happens ALL THE TIME. I was so shocked by it I, of course, had to talk to all my man friends about it and they all, without any shock or horror upon hearing the story, confirmed that yes indeedy, ALL THE TIME.
Ladies and Gentleman, buckle your seat belts...we are in for a bumpy ride.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
WTF? no really, WTF?
Day 21: Give blood...(day 20 was watch a movie with a kick-ass female lead...nah, but I did watch The Bachelorette and Jillian is pretty kick ass) uhm, NO. Y'all are welcome to, matter of fact I encourage it...I will not. I happen to not be able to because of my weight and a prior immunization which prevents me from being able so I have no guilt about NOT giving, but even so, I probably wouldn't. Whole thing skeeves me out...just thinking about a needle in my arm *shudder* makes me want to pass out.
Ok, so...drum roll please...............I finally worked up the courage (the beers and Booya helped) to go back to Match.com and sign up...this time for real, set up a profile, gave 'em my credit card and everything. I know...I am a little stunned myself. Tossed and turned all night, thinking about all the things on my profile I should change...wondering if I sounded like an ass, looked like an ass...re-thinkin, re-considering. I woke up this morning a little panicked knowing it would be at least 8pm tonight before I could go back and change it. Did I sound too snarky? Should I have said more, said less? How do you "sell" yourself without sounding like a self-obsessed doucheapotomus? And am I ready for all this? Really ready? Well turns out Match doesn't think so...they REJECTED my profile.
Stop laughing.
Got to work this morning, and following the "Welcome to Match! Happy searching!" blah, blah, blah email was a "We are sorry to inform you..." email. WTF? Seriously...
Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot. I am PISSED.
Of course there is no specific reason just a here is a list of reasons why your profile MAY have been rejected...here they are:
* All information provided must be accurate and current (I was honest to a fault, maybe I should have lied like everyone else apparently does)
* Must be in English (ok so I am not the best in terms of grammar and such, but it resembled English..more so than any other language anyway)
* You must be single or separated from your spouse (roger that, and yeah)
* Do not include detailed personal information (ie: your last name, street address, contact information, date of birth, etc.) to help protect your online anonymity (duh)
* Do not include any language which could be considered defamatory or offensive in any way (ok sarcastic and snarky is not offensive, and I swear I didn't cuss...wait...are "piss" and "crap" offensive?...hmmm, I dunno)
* No solicitation (shit, that's where I went wrong...kidding, again, duh)
* No website addresses (no problem there...gonna make sure I get 'em good and smitten before I let them read this blog...mooohaahahahahahahahaaaa)
* You must be at least 18 years old (I gave them my effing birthday for cryin' out loud!)
Dating and being rejected by MEN is hard enough...I don't think my ego can handle being rejected by a WEBSITE...I mean really...brutal....any suggestions? Any advice? Do I bag it, once again, and tell Match to eff off or do I go re-write my profile...should I take this as a sign that online dating is not for me and hope for another purty marine to walk my way or suck it up and adhere to their "rules" which I'm still not sure I broke.
Is it possible I effed up my karma by not ever giving blood? Is there a no blood, no booty rule?
Ok, so...drum roll please...............I finally worked up the courage (the beers and Booya helped) to go back to Match.com and sign up...this time for real, set up a profile, gave 'em my credit card and everything. I know...I am a little stunned myself. Tossed and turned all night, thinking about all the things on my profile I should change...wondering if I sounded like an ass, looked like an ass...re-thinkin, re-considering. I woke up this morning a little panicked knowing it would be at least 8pm tonight before I could go back and change it. Did I sound too snarky? Should I have said more, said less? How do you "sell" yourself without sounding like a self-obsessed doucheapotomus? And am I ready for all this? Really ready? Well turns out Match doesn't think so...they REJECTED my profile.
Stop laughing.
Got to work this morning, and following the "Welcome to Match! Happy searching!" blah, blah, blah email was a "We are sorry to inform you..." email. WTF? Seriously...
Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot. I am PISSED.
Of course there is no specific reason just a here is a list of reasons why your profile MAY have been rejected...here they are:
* All information provided must be accurate and current (I was honest to a fault, maybe I should have lied like everyone else apparently does)
* Must be in English (ok so I am not the best in terms of grammar and such, but it resembled English..more so than any other language anyway)
* You must be single or separated from your spouse (roger that, and yeah)
* Do not include detailed personal information (ie: your last name, street address, contact information, date of birth, etc.) to help protect your online anonymity (duh)
* Do not include any language which could be considered defamatory or offensive in any way (ok sarcastic and snarky is not offensive, and I swear I didn't cuss...wait...are "piss" and "crap" offensive?...hmmm, I dunno)
* No solicitation (shit, that's where I went wrong...kidding, again, duh)
* No website addresses (no problem there...gonna make sure I get 'em good and smitten before I let them read this blog...mooohaahahahahahahahaaaa)
* You must be at least 18 years old (I gave them my effing birthday for cryin' out loud!)
Dating and being rejected by MEN is hard enough...I don't think my ego can handle being rejected by a WEBSITE...I mean really...brutal....any suggestions? Any advice? Do I bag it, once again, and tell Match to eff off or do I go re-write my profile...should I take this as a sign that online dating is not for me and hope for another purty marine to walk my way or suck it up and adhere to their "rules" which I'm still not sure I broke.
Is it possible I effed up my karma by not ever giving blood? Is there a no blood, no booty rule?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
18 & 19
Tried to make the most of the quiet weekend by myself...read, watched movies, worked out...didn't do a whole lotta good though, still ended up in a funk. I think I have had one good weekend without the Pea and that was last month. UGH.
Ok, so Day 18 was cook something, which I did last night...a big bowl of pasta which I ate while watching a movie and sipping a glass of wine, and Day 19 is: call your dad, which I will do once I get the Pea to bed and can talk. I hope my dad, with his infinite wisdom (and by that I mean ability to make me laugh) can lift my spirits and renew my faith.
Ok, so Day 18 was cook something, which I did last night...a big bowl of pasta which I ate while watching a movie and sipping a glass of wine, and Day 19 is: call your dad, which I will do once I get the Pea to bed and can talk. I hope my dad, with his infinite wisdom (and by that I mean ability to make me laugh) can lift my spirits and renew my faith.
Friday, July 17, 2009
bummed
Ugh...a little bummed right now. It is Friday night, my Pea is with her daddy, and I have nothing to do...my date cancelled. As is the case with two adults who have super busy schedules and families and jobs, something came up...of course prior to finding out that he had an emergency I was thinking I had been blown off. I hadn't heard from him in two days, and my last text wasn't returned and I knew something was up, BUT being a girl (who was blown off once before, by text, and left standin' in her closet, nekkid and pissed off...just sayin') I instantly went to "he hates me, he doesn't want to see me anymore" instead of "huh, hope nothing is wrong" OR "he must be really busy, no worries" so silly...why do we do that?
The Boy who I will now call The Marine (cuz he is one) and I both have such crazy schedules that we may literally never get another chance to see each other, but, there was a spark, I like him, and I am bummed, so I hope we do...I guess I have no choice but to start on the house this weekend...double ugh.
Totally forgot about doing sh*t that doesn't suck this week, sorry...I will just move along to the breakup guide.
Day 17: Fix Something...One of the most satisfying things a woman can do is fix something. It doesn’t take long, but the payoff is huge. You don’t have to build an armoire; just make something that you own work better than it used to. If you have a squeaky front door, buy a can of the wonder product that is WD-40 (over 2,000 uses!) and follow the directions on the packaging. Or finally nail that framed print to your wall, like you’ve been talking about doing since 2006.
Perfect! Just talked about working on the house this weekend, and it is FULL of stuff that needs to be fixed, replaced, cleaned, and tended to. Guess I will don the work clothes, put my hair up, and get busy.
OOORRR I could don my pjs, pour a glass of wine, and put it off till tomorrow...tomorrow it is!
The Boy who I will now call The Marine (cuz he is one) and I both have such crazy schedules that we may literally never get another chance to see each other, but, there was a spark, I like him, and I am bummed, so I hope we do...I guess I have no choice but to start on the house this weekend...double ugh.
Totally forgot about doing sh*t that doesn't suck this week, sorry...I will just move along to the breakup guide.
Day 17: Fix Something...One of the most satisfying things a woman can do is fix something. It doesn’t take long, but the payoff is huge. You don’t have to build an armoire; just make something that you own work better than it used to. If you have a squeaky front door, buy a can of the wonder product that is WD-40 (over 2,000 uses!) and follow the directions on the packaging. Or finally nail that framed print to your wall, like you’ve been talking about doing since 2006.
Perfect! Just talked about working on the house this weekend, and it is FULL of stuff that needs to be fixed, replaced, cleaned, and tended to. Guess I will don the work clothes, put my hair up, and get busy.
OOORRR I could don my pjs, pour a glass of wine, and put it off till tomorrow...tomorrow it is!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
catching up
AAAAHHHHHHHHGGG! Sorry, had to get that out...I have had a bit of a crazy week. Good and bad crazy, but nonetheless, CRAY-ZEE, which is why I haven't written. Ok, so, let's catch up on the breakup guide, which gotta be honest is getting a little boring and I am losing interest in...Booya is too busy wallowing to partake and honestly, I don't really feel the need. I am pretty damn happy right now, I have a date scheduled for tomorrow night which I am very excited about, and things are normal (and by normal I mean crazy), but I embarked on the journey so here goes:
Day 14: Talk to A Little Girl...If you babysit, or have a niece or a friend who has a daughter—or you have a daughter yourself—this will be easy. Now remember how it felt to be that free? Men weren’t part of the equation then. You ruled at math, practiced your cursive writing, and jumped rope 10 times in a row. You might have thought you could be a race car driver or an Olympic swimmer or a nurse. There were no real life rules—you just had to be in bed by 9 p.m. every night. Now don’t let your inner little girl down.
I like the idea of this one, and since I get the pleasure of chatting up a little lady on a daily basis I get to be reminded of that time, of that freedom, and of the possibilities. By parenting my daughter I get to, in a way, re-parent myself...I get to see the world through her eyes, and she reminds me constantly that it is big place, with big adventures to be had, and full of fun, happy, sparkly things that bring joy. She reminds me that as long as we have each other, we have everything we need...not to say a boy on the side would be a bad thing to have, we just don't need 'em.
Day 15: Plan A Lady Party.
Well, lucky me...mission accomplished, and I didn't have to do any planning, only partying. I spent the last two days at a golf tournament with my girls. We had a blast, the weather was perfect...we laughed, made fun of each other, talked about boys, ate, drank, acted silly, and reconnected...there was no drama (well except for a some of mine that leaked over into our happy time) no bitchiness, and best of all, I left there yesterday afternoon feeling refreshed and happy...we even played some pretty decent golf.
Day 16: Sign Up For A Class.
I am all for continuing education and trying something new, especially as a way to fill up time that used to be spent with a man, or to keep you out of bars if your tendency is to get drunk and fall in bed with the first inappropriate guy who comes along, but really? I mean it is summer...screw sittin' inside with a book...get your ass outside...go loll on the beach with a trashy novel if you must read, and if you really feel the need to partake in something that adds knowledge or skill how about a kayak lesson with a hunky man guide, or a golf lesson with a pretty golf pro (I happen to know a minipro that is one of the cutest boys on the planet). My all time favorite: flight lessons...even if you just take one...nothin' like it, almost better than sex.
You wanna really get over someone and get on with your life...scare yourself. Do something that scares the hell out of you, and for each one of us it is something different...whether it means flying an airplane, jumping out of one, or using one to get outta town to someplace scary. Shake things up, test yourself, push your boundaries, and learn how to rely on yourownself and your own instinct...when you find out that you are more capable than you ever thought, braver than you ever imagined, and a lot tougher than anyone ever gave you credit for you will see yourself differently.
So, that said, what class will I be signing up for? Hmmmmm...oooh, how about: http://www.aboutboatingsafely.com/
Day 14: Talk to A Little Girl...If you babysit, or have a niece or a friend who has a daughter—or you have a daughter yourself—this will be easy. Now remember how it felt to be that free? Men weren’t part of the equation then. You ruled at math, practiced your cursive writing, and jumped rope 10 times in a row. You might have thought you could be a race car driver or an Olympic swimmer or a nurse. There were no real life rules—you just had to be in bed by 9 p.m. every night. Now don’t let your inner little girl down.
I like the idea of this one, and since I get the pleasure of chatting up a little lady on a daily basis I get to be reminded of that time, of that freedom, and of the possibilities. By parenting my daughter I get to, in a way, re-parent myself...I get to see the world through her eyes, and she reminds me constantly that it is big place, with big adventures to be had, and full of fun, happy, sparkly things that bring joy. She reminds me that as long as we have each other, we have everything we need...not to say a boy on the side would be a bad thing to have, we just don't need 'em.
Day 15: Plan A Lady Party.
Well, lucky me...mission accomplished, and I didn't have to do any planning, only partying. I spent the last two days at a golf tournament with my girls. We had a blast, the weather was perfect...we laughed, made fun of each other, talked about boys, ate, drank, acted silly, and reconnected...there was no drama (well except for a some of mine that leaked over into our happy time) no bitchiness, and best of all, I left there yesterday afternoon feeling refreshed and happy...we even played some pretty decent golf.
Day 16: Sign Up For A Class.
I am all for continuing education and trying something new, especially as a way to fill up time that used to be spent with a man, or to keep you out of bars if your tendency is to get drunk and fall in bed with the first inappropriate guy who comes along, but really? I mean it is summer...screw sittin' inside with a book...get your ass outside...go loll on the beach with a trashy novel if you must read, and if you really feel the need to partake in something that adds knowledge or skill how about a kayak lesson with a hunky man guide, or a golf lesson with a pretty golf pro (I happen to know a minipro that is one of the cutest boys on the planet). My all time favorite: flight lessons...even if you just take one...nothin' like it, almost better than sex.
You wanna really get over someone and get on with your life...scare yourself. Do something that scares the hell out of you, and for each one of us it is something different...whether it means flying an airplane, jumping out of one, or using one to get outta town to someplace scary. Shake things up, test yourself, push your boundaries, and learn how to rely on yourownself and your own instinct...when you find out that you are more capable than you ever thought, braver than you ever imagined, and a lot tougher than anyone ever gave you credit for you will see yourself differently.
So, that said, what class will I be signing up for? Hmmmmm...oooh, how about: http://www.aboutboatingsafely.com/
Monday, July 13, 2009
a note
Day 13: Write A Letter to Your Best Friend...Forget e-anything. On actual paper with an actual pen, write a letter to your best friend. Include the nice things you tend to think about her character, thank her for helping you through this stupid breakup thus far, and talk about how much she means to you. Buy an actual stamp, and put the addressed envelope into an actual mailbox. You’ll be bawling into five separate Kleenexes by the end of this exercise, but you’ll also have a handle on the ingredients for the glue that holds a good relationship together. Gentleness. Trust. Unconditional love. Honesty. Forgiveness. You know now that he wasn’t equipped with the things you need. Why expect less out of your lover than you do a best friend? Sit with that thought for a moment.
I love handwritten notes and cards...I love getting unexpected mail from someone I love. Today I wrote a note to Smash. My sister is my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder...she is an incredible person whom without I would not be the same. I think sometimes we treat strangers better than we treat the people we love the most...we take them for granted and just assume they will always be there...we forget to say please and thank you...we forget to say I love you. Write to someone you love, and tell them...they will appreciate it.
I love handwritten notes and cards...I love getting unexpected mail from someone I love. Today I wrote a note to Smash. My sister is my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder...she is an incredible person whom without I would not be the same. I think sometimes we treat strangers better than we treat the people we love the most...we take them for granted and just assume they will always be there...we forget to say please and thank you...we forget to say I love you. Write to someone you love, and tell them...they will appreciate it.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
git another
Day 11 was kinda lame, so I did my own thing, which was way better, and Day 12 is Wear Something Pink...I am wearing pink panties.
Jill Connor Browne's advice when it comes to breakups is "Git another." Plain and simple...the penis enabled aren't scarce and they makin' new ones ever day, so git another. To Booya: it goes both ways man...don't grab onto the first one that comes along if there is no spark...move on, "git another." Ok, so I have been a little hesitant about moving on, and it seems the only ones I have even thought about wanting to "git" have turned out already gotten, so I was pretty happy just hangin' by myownself, and bam...met a boy.
Out last night with the girls, he was the only guy in the place that I even noticed, apparently he noticed me too...I will keep you posted.
Jill Connor Browne's advice when it comes to breakups is "Git another." Plain and simple...the penis enabled aren't scarce and they makin' new ones ever day, so git another. To Booya: it goes both ways man...don't grab onto the first one that comes along if there is no spark...move on, "git another." Ok, so I have been a little hesitant about moving on, and it seems the only ones I have even thought about wanting to "git" have turned out already gotten, so I was pretty happy just hangin' by myownself, and bam...met a boy.
Out last night with the girls, he was the only guy in the place that I even noticed, apparently he noticed me too...I will keep you posted.
Friday, July 10, 2009
flying boats
Day 10: Change Your Perspective.
Well the idea of this one, and you can read it for yourself if you want, is to go check out some art made by a female and blah blah blah...here's the thing, I got a big fat dose of "change your perspective" when I got...wait for it...HIT BY A BOAT. That's right...was driving down the road (and for the record I went 34 YEARS with one accident, and have now had 3, three!, in the last 6 six months...*big sigh*) and a boat being towed by a truck in oncoming traffic started to veer, I thought "huh, are they turning? wait, no...oh shit...oh holy f*cking shit" slammed on brakes, swerved as best I could, closed my eyes and braced for impact. When I opened my eyes some guy (who turned out to be driving behind the boat) was yelling in my window, asking if I was ok. I still had both feet on the brake pedal, both hands on the wheel, and was shaking. I had heard crunching metal and breaking glass and had no idea what I was going to be opening my eyes to so I was hesitant, but I did, and to my great relief, I realized, I was in one piece, not bleeding, and upright. The boat was on it's side next to me, my rear wheel was lying next to the boat.
The State Trooper at the scene said I was lucky...it could have been so much worse. I don't even want to think about the worse, but it's true *shudder* and not just for me, but the Pea...thank God she wasn't with me because when they took her car seat out of the back it was filled with broken glass...scary. So, while it may seem I have had a whole host of random and unlucky things happen this week, I, in fact, dodged a few bullets and have come out of it all relatively unscathed.
I got a new perspective alright, and I didn't need to go to a museum at all...course there are probably a few of you who would rather get hit by a boat than be drug to a museum, but I recommend the latter.
Well the idea of this one, and you can read it for yourself if you want, is to go check out some art made by a female and blah blah blah...here's the thing, I got a big fat dose of "change your perspective" when I got...wait for it...HIT BY A BOAT. That's right...was driving down the road (and for the record I went 34 YEARS with one accident, and have now had 3, three!, in the last 6 six months...*big sigh*) and a boat being towed by a truck in oncoming traffic started to veer, I thought "huh, are they turning? wait, no...oh shit...oh holy f*cking shit" slammed on brakes, swerved as best I could, closed my eyes and braced for impact. When I opened my eyes some guy (who turned out to be driving behind the boat) was yelling in my window, asking if I was ok. I still had both feet on the brake pedal, both hands on the wheel, and was shaking. I had heard crunching metal and breaking glass and had no idea what I was going to be opening my eyes to so I was hesitant, but I did, and to my great relief, I realized, I was in one piece, not bleeding, and upright. The boat was on it's side next to me, my rear wheel was lying next to the boat.
The State Trooper at the scene said I was lucky...it could have been so much worse. I don't even want to think about the worse, but it's true *shudder* and not just for me, but the Pea...thank God she wasn't with me because when they took her car seat out of the back it was filled with broken glass...scary. So, while it may seem I have had a whole host of random and unlucky things happen this week, I, in fact, dodged a few bullets and have come out of it all relatively unscathed.
I got a new perspective alright, and I didn't need to go to a museum at all...course there are probably a few of you who would rather get hit by a boat than be drug to a museum, but I recommend the latter.
books
Wow...so I never got a chance to write yesterday...things have been hectic...trying to get my car back, which is no small feat when you are fighting with a dealership as to whose fault it is...ended up getting a loaner for a few days, and am happy now, but you can imagine the back and forth. When I finally got a car, and got to the school to pick up the Pea, all I wanted to do was squeeze her, and never let her go, and the last thing on my mind was writing. Ok, so to catch up, let me do day 9, and then tonight I will post day 10. OH and btw, those of you wondering...I now have A/C all fixed, and it didn't cost a fortune, so I am NOT sitting here sweating my face off while I write.
Day 9: Read A Book You Loved...Figure out where your closest public library is. Go there and get a library card if you don’t have one already. Remember wandering the stacks in grade school? Chances are you read something as a little girl that jump-started your imagination or inspired you to do something silly. Today, you’re going to find that book that you enjoyed so much and read it all over again, as a grown woman. Remind yourself of everything that you can learn in the span of 10 (or 20, or 30) years, ‘cause, girl, you ain’t done yet. Far from it.
For those of you who know me, or have been reading the blog for any length of time, you know how much I love books, and love the library...I still wander the stacks, sit on the floor and read, and get lost in other people's stories. I love the smell, feel, everything, of library books, and check out a stack every week. I obviously didn't get to the library last night, but I did think a lot about some of the stories I loved as a kid. I was one of those that would read under the covers with a flashlight until the wee hours of the morning and fall asleep with the book next to me...I still fall asleep with books in my bed, and now the Pea is doing the same. Books have always allowed me an escape, and I think (good) fiction writers are truly amazing in their ability to craft a story, and characters, out of thin air and put them on paper.
Since the idea of the post was to remember and be inspired, and I am playing along and so far enjoying, I went to the Pea's bookshelf and pulled out a few of my favorites...I will read them to the Pea over the next few nights (or more, Little Women is wicked long) and hopefully, inspire us both...here they are:
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein..."And the tree was happy."
Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Suess..."You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell..."...and here my story ends. My troubles are all over, and I am at home..."
Little Women by Louisa M. Alcott..."It's so dreadful to be poor!"
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett..."This is such a big lonely place."
Day 9: Read A Book You Loved...Figure out where your closest public library is. Go there and get a library card if you don’t have one already. Remember wandering the stacks in grade school? Chances are you read something as a little girl that jump-started your imagination or inspired you to do something silly. Today, you’re going to find that book that you enjoyed so much and read it all over again, as a grown woman. Remind yourself of everything that you can learn in the span of 10 (or 20, or 30) years, ‘cause, girl, you ain’t done yet. Far from it.
For those of you who know me, or have been reading the blog for any length of time, you know how much I love books, and love the library...I still wander the stacks, sit on the floor and read, and get lost in other people's stories. I love the smell, feel, everything, of library books, and check out a stack every week. I obviously didn't get to the library last night, but I did think a lot about some of the stories I loved as a kid. I was one of those that would read under the covers with a flashlight until the wee hours of the morning and fall asleep with the book next to me...I still fall asleep with books in my bed, and now the Pea is doing the same. Books have always allowed me an escape, and I think (good) fiction writers are truly amazing in their ability to craft a story, and characters, out of thin air and put them on paper.
Since the idea of the post was to remember and be inspired, and I am playing along and so far enjoying, I went to the Pea's bookshelf and pulled out a few of my favorites...I will read them to the Pea over the next few nights (or more, Little Women is wicked long) and hopefully, inspire us both...here they are:
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein..."And the tree was happy."
Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Suess..."You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell..."...and here my story ends. My troubles are all over, and I am at home..."
Little Women by Louisa M. Alcott..."It's so dreadful to be poor!"
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett..."This is such a big lonely place."
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
day 8
Day 8: Buy A Dress...It doesn’t matter if you’ve lost a few pounds in saltwater from crying this week or gained five thanks to your newfound Caramel Frappuccino habit. You’re hauling it to the nearest H&M or Express and buying the brightest frock you can find. Your new “look at me!” outfit is a not-so-subtle reminder to you and everyone walking down the street that you’re a chick that any dude would be lucky to lay his eyes on, let alone kiss.
Booya is out shopping right now...I told him to buy a new shirt, something other than a plaid Columbia (not that there is anything wrong with that, just sayin'). Not only does he NOT need a "look at me" DRESS (that would just be creepy) but he has a date tomorrow and I think you should always wear something new on a first date...in other people's worlds that would probably get very expensive, sadly, in mine, not so much...hmmm. Ok, so he is out shopping now and I plan on going out shopping tonight, after work. I intend to buy the brightest, most flattering, and lovely dress I can find...may even grab a new pair of shoes...and the fact that I shouldn't be spending money on new clothes matters not. I figure a new dress, pair of shoes, and glass of wine (because I will be stopping for one on my way home) will still be cheaper than a therapy session, and will do just as much good, if not more.
After the initial split I lost a bunch of weight, then I started gaining, lately I have been packin' it on...now I am officially in the surplus. I can still "fit" into most of my clothes, but they are no longer flattering and I am dangerously close to busting seams. With my rounder parts spilling out of most of what I own, I think a new dress, that fits comfortably and contains all of me, is definitely in order. I haven't felt much like a "chick any dude would be lucky to lay his eyes on, let alone kiss" lately and would like to have that feeling again.
Booya is out shopping right now...I told him to buy a new shirt, something other than a plaid Columbia (not that there is anything wrong with that, just sayin'). Not only does he NOT need a "look at me" DRESS (that would just be creepy) but he has a date tomorrow and I think you should always wear something new on a first date...in other people's worlds that would probably get very expensive, sadly, in mine, not so much...hmmm. Ok, so he is out shopping now and I plan on going out shopping tonight, after work. I intend to buy the brightest, most flattering, and lovely dress I can find...may even grab a new pair of shoes...and the fact that I shouldn't be spending money on new clothes matters not. I figure a new dress, pair of shoes, and glass of wine (because I will be stopping for one on my way home) will still be cheaper than a therapy session, and will do just as much good, if not more.
After the initial split I lost a bunch of weight, then I started gaining, lately I have been packin' it on...now I am officially in the surplus. I can still "fit" into most of my clothes, but they are no longer flattering and I am dangerously close to busting seams. With my rounder parts spilling out of most of what I own, I think a new dress, that fits comfortably and contains all of me, is definitely in order. I haven't felt much like a "chick any dude would be lucky to lay his eyes on, let alone kiss" lately and would like to have that feeling again.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
it's all about the box
Day 7: Box up his crap
Coincidentally, I had the joy of delivering "the box" to Booya today...in it some stuff and the ring. Yucky. Georgie called and asked me to meet her so she could give his stuff back and I obliged...I then had to call Booya and tell him, and even though he knew it was coming, it still hit hard. In this case getting "the box" meant closure...the last of the stuff, the only remaining ties.
It isn't so simple when it is a 10 year marriage that produced a child. I never could just box up his stuff, send it back, and go on my merry way...it was OUR stuff, and no matter what, we will be forever tied. When DH and I started out we were both broke and had very little of our own stuff...almost everything I have now was accumulated during our marriage...not just the furniture, pictures, etc, but the memories...I graduated college after we met, traveled the world after we were married, grew up and became a mommy all with DH by my side...I can't discount that he was a major player in my life, and can't just box up all the shit from the last 14 years.
So what is a girl to do? Well...since I may be, once again, facing a move, and at yet another crossroads, I will spend the weekend packing. I won't be boxing up "his" crap in order to give it back or hide it from myself, but rather my crap in order to move on. I will have to take stock and pair down, and who knows what will stay and what will go, but hopefully by the time I am completely on my own, in a home that I didn't buy with DH, a single girl, the things that remain will only be reminders of the good times, and validate that our marriage was worthwhile and worth remembering.
Coincidentally, I had the joy of delivering "the box" to Booya today...in it some stuff and the ring. Yucky. Georgie called and asked me to meet her so she could give his stuff back and I obliged...I then had to call Booya and tell him, and even though he knew it was coming, it still hit hard. In this case getting "the box" meant closure...the last of the stuff, the only remaining ties.
It isn't so simple when it is a 10 year marriage that produced a child. I never could just box up his stuff, send it back, and go on my merry way...it was OUR stuff, and no matter what, we will be forever tied. When DH and I started out we were both broke and had very little of our own stuff...almost everything I have now was accumulated during our marriage...not just the furniture, pictures, etc, but the memories...I graduated college after we met, traveled the world after we were married, grew up and became a mommy all with DH by my side...I can't discount that he was a major player in my life, and can't just box up all the shit from the last 14 years.
So what is a girl to do? Well...since I may be, once again, facing a move, and at yet another crossroads, I will spend the weekend packing. I won't be boxing up "his" crap in order to give it back or hide it from myself, but rather my crap in order to move on. I will have to take stock and pair down, and who knows what will stay and what will go, but hopefully by the time I am completely on my own, in a home that I didn't buy with DH, a single girl, the things that remain will only be reminders of the good times, and validate that our marriage was worthwhile and worth remembering.
Monday, July 6, 2009
single shopping
Day 6: Congratulations: You’ve got your fridge back. Go Grocery Shopping, you’re single now, and you can buy what you want.
I think this is great...one of the things I LOVE about being single is having my fridge to myself. I don't have to "meal plan" or keep certain things stocked...no one ever complains that the box of wine takes up too much room, I buy what I want, when I want, and since I have been out on my own I have NEVER once heard the phrase "we don't have anything good to eat" uttered in my house. I especially love that I don't have to remember "his" bread or "his" peanut butter or "his" milk anymore, cuz the Pea and I BOTH eat wheat, all natural creamy with honey, and organic 2%, so there is no double stocking of anything.
In addition to having my fridge back, some other things that I am glad I no longer have to share: The toilet...boys are gross, boys miss, boys make messes and don't clean them up, it blows my mind that I don't have to scrub the toilet every week like I used to, and it is great. I was lucky enough that I never had to share my sink with DH, but now I have 2 all to myself...LOVE IT. The garage...it is all mine, mine, mine, mine...just for my little car and all my crap...if I want to leave the stroller, and my golf clubs, and the dirty laundry, by the door, I can, and no one complains.
So, I told Booya to go out shopping, not just grocery, but clothes, or tools, or whatever strikes his man fancy, buy some stuff that she would think gross, or roll her eyes at, and last I heard he was headed out...should be interesting.
I think this is great...one of the things I LOVE about being single is having my fridge to myself. I don't have to "meal plan" or keep certain things stocked...no one ever complains that the box of wine takes up too much room, I buy what I want, when I want, and since I have been out on my own I have NEVER once heard the phrase "we don't have anything good to eat" uttered in my house. I especially love that I don't have to remember "his" bread or "his" peanut butter or "his" milk anymore, cuz the Pea and I BOTH eat wheat, all natural creamy with honey, and organic 2%, so there is no double stocking of anything.
In addition to having my fridge back, some other things that I am glad I no longer have to share: The toilet...boys are gross, boys miss, boys make messes and don't clean them up, it blows my mind that I don't have to scrub the toilet every week like I used to, and it is great. I was lucky enough that I never had to share my sink with DH, but now I have 2 all to myself...LOVE IT. The garage...it is all mine, mine, mine, mine...just for my little car and all my crap...if I want to leave the stroller, and my golf clubs, and the dirty laundry, by the door, I can, and no one complains.
So, I told Booya to go out shopping, not just grocery, but clothes, or tools, or whatever strikes his man fancy, buy some stuff that she would think gross, or roll her eyes at, and last I heard he was headed out...should be interesting.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
vay-caaay-tion
Day 5: Today, you’re going to plan to get the hell out of Dodge.
Well, considering we spent the weekend "out of Dodge" we decided instead to come home. A trip out of town is always good for the soul and while neither of us were able to relax and de-stress like we had hoped we did have fun. The Pea had a blast and enjoyed telling everyone we saw along the way that we were on "vay-caaaay-tion" and since she insisted we do the tourist thing and take one of those carriage rides through the city she has also been telling everyone we rode on the "dont-kay" (donkey). We had two mules pulling our carriage, and she loved the fact that we didn't have a horse we had "TWO DONT-KAYS!"
Gearing up for a busy week, and have a lot of shit to deal with that I don't want to, so I wish I could head right back out of town...problem is my car is broke so unless I find a "dontkay" and a carriage I probably can't make it happen.
Well, considering we spent the weekend "out of Dodge" we decided instead to come home. A trip out of town is always good for the soul and while neither of us were able to relax and de-stress like we had hoped we did have fun. The Pea had a blast and enjoyed telling everyone we saw along the way that we were on "vay-caaaay-tion" and since she insisted we do the tourist thing and take one of those carriage rides through the city she has also been telling everyone we rode on the "dont-kay" (donkey). We had two mules pulling our carriage, and she loved the fact that we didn't have a horse we had "TWO DONT-KAYS!"
Gearing up for a busy week, and have a lot of shit to deal with that I don't want to, so I wish I could head right back out of town...problem is my car is broke so unless I find a "dontkay" and a carriage I probably can't make it happen.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
happy 4th
Day 4: Grab a drink (or six) and your best girlfriend.
Ahhahahahahahahahahhaaaahahahahaaaaaaa....yeah, we got that covered...Booya stumbled into bed at some point last night, don't know when cuz Pea and I were out cold, and is, as of right now WA-AY-STED...tee hee. I am laughing out loud right now, as I write, cuz he is out on the porch having a philosophical conversation with Pea, and since I am sober, it is HI-Larious...ah ahahahha ahahahhhhaaahahahahhaha...something about a crocodile and Pooh bear...oh boy.
Happy 4th y'all.
Ahhahahahahahahahahhaaaahahahahaaaaaaa....yeah, we got that covered...Booya stumbled into bed at some point last night, don't know when cuz Pea and I were out cold, and is, as of right now WA-AY-STED...tee hee. I am laughing out loud right now, as I write, cuz he is out on the porch having a philosophical conversation with Pea, and since I am sober, it is HI-Larious...ah ahahahha ahahahhhhaaahahahahhaha...something about a crocodile and Pooh bear...oh boy.
Happy 4th y'all.
Friday, July 3, 2009
day 3
Day 3: Make your breakup bible.
The idea of this one is to write out a bunch of crap about the ex that you hate or that he/she did that was awful, so that anytime you are tempted to call or text, you just take a look and refrain. Well, I have no problem refraining at this point, although this REALLY would have come in handy awhile back, and Booya has so far been able to call me or his new Match.com hottie instead of the ex...I dunno, I guess this is a good thing, and I think that in order to make a break you definitely need to stop communicating, but making a list...eh...at one time you thought this person was awesome, the bomb, the sun rose and set in their eyes...writing down a few annoying habits...well, just seems like a waste of time. Instead of doing that, Booya and I are concentrating on the present moment and trying to just accept that sometimes it just doesn't work...no matter how badly you want it to. We are trying to, instead of vilify, just accept that sometimes love simply doesn't go both ways, even though we want it to. We are trying to move past "all that was wrong" and be grateful for the time we had, choosing instead to be grateful that we are free to find someone NOW who is right, and with whom the love is real and reciprocated.
That said...I have hidden his phone...if he tries to call her I will throw it in the river.
The idea of this one is to write out a bunch of crap about the ex that you hate or that he/she did that was awful, so that anytime you are tempted to call or text, you just take a look and refrain. Well, I have no problem refraining at this point, although this REALLY would have come in handy awhile back, and Booya has so far been able to call me or his new Match.com hottie instead of the ex...I dunno, I guess this is a good thing, and I think that in order to make a break you definitely need to stop communicating, but making a list...eh...at one time you thought this person was awesome, the bomb, the sun rose and set in their eyes...writing down a few annoying habits...well, just seems like a waste of time. Instead of doing that, Booya and I are concentrating on the present moment and trying to just accept that sometimes it just doesn't work...no matter how badly you want it to. We are trying to, instead of vilify, just accept that sometimes love simply doesn't go both ways, even though we want it to. We are trying to move past "all that was wrong" and be grateful for the time we had, choosing instead to be grateful that we are free to find someone NOW who is right, and with whom the love is real and reciprocated.
That said...I have hidden his phone...if he tries to call her I will throw it in the river.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
day 2, doesn't suck
Day 2: Tell your friends.
Well lucky for Booya all he had to do was tell me...lol...seriously, the blog pretty much puts it all out there, for friends (and frenemies alike) so guess there isn't really much more to say. And yes, for those of you wondering, I cleared with Booya all the writing about him...he is a good sport. So what are we to do since we don't need to tell anyone? Match.com of course! Not me, I'm still scared. No, Booya signed up last night and has already made a match...they chatted online, have talked on the phone and who knows. I am very excited for him...he has been able to do what I am still a bit scared to do and that is really go for it. Of course, he also was able to jump back on the horse (so to speak) a whole lot quicker than I was too, Man-whore, and of that I am envious.
Ok, so for this week's shit that doesn't suck I will eat crow http://crazyincarolina.blogspot.com/2008/08/matchwtf.html and say Match.com, go ahead, check it out..even I was impressed by the number and caliber of girls that he got matched with. I still don't know if I would end up with more than a few (men that is) and if any of them would lead to dates, but if you are a guy seeking girls I can say for sure that you just might find what you are looking for.
Since I am still not looking, and instead hanging with BOB, I have to feed my hunger for hottie man types with porn. Not real porn, ok, maybe some...don't tell anyone, no, Nerd Girl Porn...and just so happens this week it is Hot Hairy Chested Men and one of them is you guessed it, Bradley Cooper (nummy) http://www.thefrisky.com/site/slides/246-nerd-girl-porn-hot-hairy-chested-men/P9/ Every week they change it up...my favorites so far have been: hot guys reading, hot guys in glasses, and hot guys walking dogs...tee hee.
Well since July 4th is almost here I thought I would go ahead and get all patriotic...here is some shit that doesn't suck about living in the states: We are a democracy...ALL adults, not just men or certain ethnicities, have the right to vote. All our children are entitled to an education, for free (well ok not if you are a tax payer but you know what I mean)...not just the boys, not just the upper class. All of us can get quality basic health care, and our children have available to them every immunization necessary to not contract horrible life affecting diseases that are easily preventable...yeah, that's a big frickin deal, do you know how many kids DIE in other countries who would never even get sick if they lived here? We are basically safe...we don't have to weigh the possibility of starving vs. getting blown up by a bomb..we can go to the mall, the grocery, etc. and not give it a second thought. We can travel within our country rather safely...we have fantastic public transportation, a fabulous intra and inter state highway system, very safe air transportation, and both civil servants and a military in place to protect it all. Our food supply is seemingly never ending and relatively safe (not always healthy, albeit)...that is a biggie for me...I am a foodie, I like to eat, and being overseas and scared to was miserable...and I realize it is not really never ending, but having the ability to get pretty much anything, anytime day or night, is a luxury we have grown to take for granted.
Yeah, I know, there are a ton more, but I thought I would just offer up some of the biggies...ya know those basic things that without, none of the other stuff would matter...oh sure I like havin' my nerd girl porn, but havin' a healthy kid and knowing I can head outta town and make it to my destination intact, enjoy the fireworks and the food, and then head home happy and full pretty much trumps all those pretty boys...pretty much.
Well lucky for Booya all he had to do was tell me...lol...seriously, the blog pretty much puts it all out there, for friends (and frenemies alike) so guess there isn't really much more to say. And yes, for those of you wondering, I cleared with Booya all the writing about him...he is a good sport. So what are we to do since we don't need to tell anyone? Match.com of course! Not me, I'm still scared. No, Booya signed up last night and has already made a match...they chatted online, have talked on the phone and who knows. I am very excited for him...he has been able to do what I am still a bit scared to do and that is really go for it. Of course, he also was able to jump back on the horse (so to speak) a whole lot quicker than I was too, Man-whore, and of that I am envious.
Ok, so for this week's shit that doesn't suck I will eat crow http://crazyincarolina.blogspot.com/2008/08/matchwtf.html and say Match.com, go ahead, check it out..even I was impressed by the number and caliber of girls that he got matched with. I still don't know if I would end up with more than a few (men that is) and if any of them would lead to dates, but if you are a guy seeking girls I can say for sure that you just might find what you are looking for.
Since I am still not looking, and instead hanging with BOB, I have to feed my hunger for hottie man types with porn. Not real porn, ok, maybe some...don't tell anyone, no, Nerd Girl Porn...and just so happens this week it is Hot Hairy Chested Men and one of them is you guessed it, Bradley Cooper (nummy) http://www.thefrisky.com/site/slides/246-nerd-girl-porn-hot-hairy-chested-men/P9/ Every week they change it up...my favorites so far have been: hot guys reading, hot guys in glasses, and hot guys walking dogs...tee hee.
Well since July 4th is almost here I thought I would go ahead and get all patriotic...here is some shit that doesn't suck about living in the states: We are a democracy...ALL adults, not just men or certain ethnicities, have the right to vote. All our children are entitled to an education, for free (well ok not if you are a tax payer but you know what I mean)...not just the boys, not just the upper class. All of us can get quality basic health care, and our children have available to them every immunization necessary to not contract horrible life affecting diseases that are easily preventable...yeah, that's a big frickin deal, do you know how many kids DIE in other countries who would never even get sick if they lived here? We are basically safe...we don't have to weigh the possibility of starving vs. getting blown up by a bomb..we can go to the mall, the grocery, etc. and not give it a second thought. We can travel within our country rather safely...we have fantastic public transportation, a fabulous intra and inter state highway system, very safe air transportation, and both civil servants and a military in place to protect it all. Our food supply is seemingly never ending and relatively safe (not always healthy, albeit)...that is a biggie for me...I am a foodie, I like to eat, and being overseas and scared to was miserable...and I realize it is not really never ending, but having the ability to get pretty much anything, anytime day or night, is a luxury we have grown to take for granted.
Yeah, I know, there are a ton more, but I thought I would just offer up some of the biggies...ya know those basic things that without, none of the other stuff would matter...oh sure I like havin' my nerd girl porn, but havin' a healthy kid and knowing I can head outta town and make it to my destination intact, enjoy the fireworks and the food, and then head home happy and full pretty much trumps all those pretty boys...pretty much.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
30 days
The wedding is off...Georgie and Booya called it quits. Booya, I'm sorry, but it IS for the best. Yup, broken hearts SUCK...SUCK...I am still working on getting mine back from the million tiny pieces it had broken into and now that I am almost there - WHAM - there goes Booya's. DAMN.
So here we are...just so happens thefrisky.com has come to the rescue with the 30-day breakup Guide. It is geared toward the vagina enabled set, but we are gonna jump in together and modify as necessary. Check it out if your heart is breaking too, and if not be grateful, and follow us on our journey...
http://www.thefrisky.com/calendar/
Day 1: Change your phone wallpaper, the old will just remind you of calls past and a new will help change your outlook...Well, mine was a picture of the Pea at the beach, so not much of a reminder of anything other than good times at the beach with the Pea, but I am gonna play along...it is now a picture of the Pea, JJ, and Boo playing in the ocean.
So here we are...just so happens thefrisky.com has come to the rescue with the 30-day breakup Guide. It is geared toward the vagina enabled set, but we are gonna jump in together and modify as necessary. Check it out if your heart is breaking too, and if not be grateful, and follow us on our journey...
http://www.thefrisky.com/calendar/
Day 1: Change your phone wallpaper, the old will just remind you of calls past and a new will help change your outlook...Well, mine was a picture of the Pea at the beach, so not much of a reminder of anything other than good times at the beach with the Pea, but I am gonna play along...it is now a picture of the Pea, JJ, and Boo playing in the ocean.
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