match.WTF

Had an interesting night last night...DH came over. He was in a great mood, which was a nice departure from the past few weeks, and we ended up drinking a bottle of wine and talking. Now every fiber of my being was screaming at me "BAD IDEA!!! PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN AND WALK AWAY!" because usually him+me+booze=bad fight, but by the grace of God last night was an exception. There were a few tense moments, but overall not bad. We worked out a schedule for the Pea, we talked about finances, even talked about dating and how to handle it and how we should be with each other and the Pea when someone else comes into the picture (yes it was weird, very weird).

Anyway, in talking about the whole dating thing I mentioned I went to Match.com, and I hate to admit that I even went there to myself, but I got an email, there was a link, next thing I knew I had 3 "perfect matches!" Well I have since canceled my "membership" which is a misnomer, because to actually have a membership and create a profile you have to pay, which I didn't, but to sign in initially you set up a screen name, give 'em your birth date (!), start checkin' boxes and build your perfect man. Of course the idea is that they serve up a bunch of irresistible men, you get all excited and want to contact these men and in order to do so - bam! back to the membership page...no no, first you must have a membership, give us your credit card, blah blah blah.

Ok, so I check all the boxes, put in all my parameters, the things I think I want in a man...I won't go into all of them, but bottom line there are 3 men in the state who supposedly fit. THREE! that's it...anyway, none of them get me excited enough to follow up and buy a membership so I log off, thinking I have seen the last of Match.com. OH NO...the NEXT DAY I get an email..."we have 6 perfect matches for you - and here they are!"

Here is where I will list a few of my parameters cuz now it becomes important to the story...age: 30-50, height: 5'10" - 6'3", wants/has children: yes, other: spiritual but NOT religious. Ok, keep in mind the ONLY info they have on me is, female, age 34. The six guys they send:
1) short guy, in his profile he's 5'7" which means he is prob 5'5"
2) young guy, 27 years old
3) younger guy, 25 years old
4) religious guy, VERY religious christian seeking same
5) hates kids guy, has none, wants none
6) perfect guy, seeking woman (girl) 22-27
WTF, on what planet do any of these guys fit? Are they serious? The next day I got another email, much the same, 6 more guys, and this time ALL of them want a woman in her twenties...hello, not only am I not going to get excited about that and go running to the website to buy a membership but now I'm pissed...is every guy out there looking for a girl in her twenties!? UGH...so long story longer, at the bottom of the email there is in teeny tiny letters a link if you wish to unsubscribe to these emails. I click on the link and for F*CKS SAKE, you would think I was trying to sell my kid. I had to go through all kinds of steps and 4 times, 4!!!! they asked if I was sure I wanted to unsubscribe...yes I'm sure assholes and STOP asking.

Alright, so here is where I say (so they don't sue me or something), that for some folks the website is fantastic...I know a few couples who met online and are happy as can be...blah, blah, blah...I for one however, will not be going back anytime soon.