Tuesday, March 31, 2009
whew
Whew...OK, it is almost time to leave and despite NOT managing to accomplish anything work wise, I DID manage to make it through the day without shitting myself or puking in my trash can...I consider the day a success.
f-ing ranch
I made it to work...barely. I feel horrible, I woke up in the middle of the night with a bit of food poisoning...ech. I am typing very slowly and sitting very still in hopes of keeping whatever is left in me from coming up...O.M.G. Sex and the City fans; do you remember the fromage episode...where Charlotte and Harry go to a fancy french restaurant and wake up sick and Harry goes "It was the fucking fromage!" Well Booya and I split a meal, and then each got a side salad...only he had blue cheese and I had ranch...Booya was fine this morning...it had to be the ranch dressing.
So speaking of throw up, Louisville is out...didn't make it to the Final Four. Too bad, since I had them picked to win the whole thing, but should be a good final nonetheless. Ok, I got nothin' else...all I can think about is the fact that the bathroom is down a flight of stairs, on the other side of the hangar, and I have on 3 inch heels...I see disaster...F*CKING RANCH!
So speaking of throw up, Louisville is out...didn't make it to the Final Four. Too bad, since I had them picked to win the whole thing, but should be a good final nonetheless. Ok, I got nothin' else...all I can think about is the fact that the bathroom is down a flight of stairs, on the other side of the hangar, and I have on 3 inch heels...I see disaster...F*CKING RANCH!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
almost
I ALMOST made it two whole days without a break down...good news; this time it was NOT in public...I went all day yesterday and almost all of today, thought I was good, and then bam, a little while ago, tears...damnit. Ok, so yesterday...very busy; we went to the library, DD, the mall, the beach with JD (who is now "uncle JD" and probably still worn out from all the "again, again!"), had dinner with Gigi and Buddy, watched the end of the Villanova/Pitt game (wow, awesome) and went to bed...PERFECT. Today started out OK...did our donut run, some shopping, the mall (again), the park...I had a fantastic yoga class, and then the day just got away from me...I had grand plans when I came home, was gonna get all kinds of stuff done, and when I realized what I had done, and what I still had to do, and what time it was, I just lost it. So far all I have managed, other than getting the Pea bathed and to bed, is one load of laundry...oooh, and I did the dishes...other than that...unless you count the sobbing, nada.
Oh well, I wish I had more for ya, but it's gettin' late and I still have 2 loads of laundry to do, bags to pack, coffee to make, and some cleaning...hopefully there will be no more crying...one of these days I am gonna track down my fairy godmother...bitch has some explainin' to do.
Oh well, I wish I had more for ya, but it's gettin' late and I still have 2 loads of laundry to do, bags to pack, coffee to make, and some cleaning...hopefully there will be no more crying...one of these days I am gonna track down my fairy godmother...bitch has some explainin' to do.
Friday, March 27, 2009
fierceness
My sister Smash is the smartest, coolest, most beautiful woman I know...she rocks, she is awesome, and today she finished something amazing and I just wanted you all to know.
Smash: I love you, I aspire to your level of fierceness ;)
Mom: Thank you, ever so much...for everything.
Smash: I love you, I aspire to your level of fierceness ;)
Mom: Thank you, ever so much...for everything.
damn bad cats
I'm having a REALLY bad week, and while there have been a few bright spots, I have felt kicked in the gut, stunned, heartbroken, and furious...I have cried so much I can't even get my contacts in...I really want to write something funny and entertaining, I just don't think I can. Something really awful happened last night that I don't even want to think about much less write about (maybe I will work up the courage over the weekend) and then just this morning, as if my week hasn't been bad enough, one of those "well meaning mean ladies" gave me her two cents and...ECH. Good news, it made me remember an old post, which was kinda funny so I'm gonna re-run that for ya and hopefully you can get a laugh.
So the Pea and I got up really early this morning, and I felt like we needed a treat so we headed off to the DD drive-thru. When we arrived there were about a million cars and the Pea was yelling to "go i-side mommy, go i-side!" so we did. Well the Pea was wearing her monkey PJs, which have the built in footies, but no shoes. It is pretty ugly here, cold and rainy, so I carried her inside and then put her down (I know the irony, after just running a post on NOT wearing PJs in public...). Well a lady got her coffee and turned around to leave and noticed us...
"Hi there sweetie, aren't you beautiful, what pretty eyes you have! You really should be wearing shoes though, and why do you still have pajamas on?"
Ok, granted it's not like she said "OMG, you horrible woman! Put some shoes on your kid!" but that is what it felt like. I didn't have a squirt gun, I didn't have the energy for a witty response...I am fresh out of moxie these days as I think it ran out my eyes or nose, so I just offered a meek smile and ordered my coffee and the horrible sugar and fat laden doughnut that I'm sure if she knew the Pea was going to eat most of she would have had something to say about.
Anyway here ya go...wish I had been in the mood I had been in that day...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
bad cats
As is our usual Sunday morning custom the Pea and I headed out early for doughnuts, since we had a house full I decided to skip the drive-thru and go inside since I would be ordering a bunch of crap and nothing infuriates me more than sitting at at a drive-thru waiting for ONE damn cup of coffee when the person in front of me is ordering like 12 breakfast sandwiches.
Anyway, once I have my bags and boxes and coffee in hand, we head out the door, and since I cannot carry the Pea with all the other stuff, she is walking beside me. Keep in mind this is a small parking lot, we are not at the mall or Walmart. We are almost to the car and another car rounds the corner and starts approaching, I tell the Pea to hustle and get out of the way - which she does - and start to get the loot in the car so I can then put her in. The lady in the car then starts blowing her horn, pulls up beside me, rolls down the window and yells:"Small children should NOT be allowed to walk in parking lots alone!"
Alone? What?! I'm right here...Well, since she had a tight perm, blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick the only thing I could think to say was:"YOU should NOT be allowed outside looking like that!"
She didn't have anything to say after that, and I presume she went inside for coffee...clearly she needed one (and a new hairdo but that's beside the point) seriously though, WTF?
The Pea was NOT in any danger, I don't, as a rule, put her in harms way, why do some people think it's their job to tell you how to parent? I swear every time I go out, there is some old lady who pops up out of nowhere (usually wearing blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick) to tell me I should or shouldn't do this or that. About a week ago some random lady walked up to the Pea, grabbed her pacie out of her mouth and said "give me that, you shouldn't have that!" I WAS STUNNED...what? excuse me, I should have grabbed the vinyl Louis-Vuitton knock-off out of her hand and said the same thing...I mean really, fake purses are a way worse crime against humanity than a 2yr old with a pacie...jeezus.
I wonder if there is a way to get through to these women? Cuz you can't really say anything to them, they always think they're right, but what if, like with a bad cat, you said nothing and just sprayed them with a squirt gun...eventually they would get the hint and stop doing it, right?...I think I'm gonna go buy a squirt gun.
So the Pea and I got up really early this morning, and I felt like we needed a treat so we headed off to the DD drive-thru. When we arrived there were about a million cars and the Pea was yelling to "go i-side mommy, go i-side!" so we did. Well the Pea was wearing her monkey PJs, which have the built in footies, but no shoes. It is pretty ugly here, cold and rainy, so I carried her inside and then put her down (I know the irony, after just running a post on NOT wearing PJs in public...). Well a lady got her coffee and turned around to leave and noticed us...
"Hi there sweetie, aren't you beautiful, what pretty eyes you have! You really should be wearing shoes though, and why do you still have pajamas on?"
Ok, granted it's not like she said "OMG, you horrible woman! Put some shoes on your kid!" but that is what it felt like. I didn't have a squirt gun, I didn't have the energy for a witty response...I am fresh out of moxie these days as I think it ran out my eyes or nose, so I just offered a meek smile and ordered my coffee and the horrible sugar and fat laden doughnut that I'm sure if she knew the Pea was going to eat most of she would have had something to say about.
Anyway here ya go...wish I had been in the mood I had been in that day...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
bad cats
As is our usual Sunday morning custom the Pea and I headed out early for doughnuts, since we had a house full I decided to skip the drive-thru and go inside since I would be ordering a bunch of crap and nothing infuriates me more than sitting at at a drive-thru waiting for ONE damn cup of coffee when the person in front of me is ordering like 12 breakfast sandwiches.
Anyway, once I have my bags and boxes and coffee in hand, we head out the door, and since I cannot carry the Pea with all the other stuff, she is walking beside me. Keep in mind this is a small parking lot, we are not at the mall or Walmart. We are almost to the car and another car rounds the corner and starts approaching, I tell the Pea to hustle and get out of the way - which she does - and start to get the loot in the car so I can then put her in. The lady in the car then starts blowing her horn, pulls up beside me, rolls down the window and yells:"Small children should NOT be allowed to walk in parking lots alone!"
Alone? What?! I'm right here...Well, since she had a tight perm, blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick the only thing I could think to say was:"YOU should NOT be allowed outside looking like that!"
She didn't have anything to say after that, and I presume she went inside for coffee...clearly she needed one (and a new hairdo but that's beside the point) seriously though, WTF?
The Pea was NOT in any danger, I don't, as a rule, put her in harms way, why do some people think it's their job to tell you how to parent? I swear every time I go out, there is some old lady who pops up out of nowhere (usually wearing blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick) to tell me I should or shouldn't do this or that. About a week ago some random lady walked up to the Pea, grabbed her pacie out of her mouth and said "give me that, you shouldn't have that!" I WAS STUNNED...what? excuse me, I should have grabbed the vinyl Louis-Vuitton knock-off out of her hand and said the same thing...I mean really, fake purses are a way worse crime against humanity than a 2yr old with a pacie...jeezus.
I wonder if there is a way to get through to these women? Cuz you can't really say anything to them, they always think they're right, but what if, like with a bad cat, you said nothing and just sprayed them with a squirt gun...eventually they would get the hint and stop doing it, right?...I think I'm gonna go buy a squirt gun.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
uncle jay
My supervisor walked in somewhat upset, incredulous about something reported in the news this morning, and one of my office mates, as a result of the ensuing conversation, turned us on to:
http://www.unclejayexplains.com/
AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!
Check it out!
http://www.unclejayexplains.com/
AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!
Check it out!
snack land
Well I am at work early today so I have a few minutes to write before getting started. I am sitting at my desk in "snack land" drinking my coffee and trying NOT to eat the cinnamon rolls that are calling my name.
Before my whole world fell apart, back when I was a country club mommy, I had the luxury of working only four days a month. When I did come in, I would sit wherever there was an empty computer, or I would be running around doing projects, so they never gave me my own desk. When I started on four days a week they had to make room for me, my giant desk, a new computer and a phone. And, in order to keep me in the flight department office, they squeezed me into the back corner where there is a frig, microwave, and plethora of snacks. I call it "snack land," and in addition to the 500 calorie cinnamon rolls that call my name all day long, I get lots of visitors from other departments, cuz we got the good stuff. Each of the other departments has their own version of snack land...admin has a full kitchen, nicer than mine at home (bitches), and there is a sweet break room right downstairs with a kitchenette and flat screen tv, but no where else can you get my company (lol) or the Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls (you can buy them at Sams, but I wouldn't recommend it as they are, like I said before, about a billion calories and HIGHLY addictive).
Well, one of my regular visitors to snack land hurt is back awhile back and has to take pain pills. Yesterday, when he came up for his other fix we got to talkin' about being under the influence and somehow before I knew it the whole department had started a conversation about either driving or flying while impaired. BTW the impaired flying was not due to drug or alcohol use, it was from sleep deprivation, but anyone who has gone twenty four or more hours without sleep, or who is trying to work on "the other side of the clock" knows it can be just as bad. Anyway, Jojo told us a story about her mother (or mother in law, can't remember) running a red light when she was taking pain pills. She actually had stopped for the light, and was sitting there, and then just decided she had sat long enough and gunned it into the intersection, causing a big fat mess.
That got me thinking about how much we implicitly trust other people, not just on the road but in general, and how MOST of the time, they don't let us down. Stories of people NOT doing the right thing are all over the place...if you want tales of people abusing trust, preying on others, and taking advantage; just sign online or open a newspaper...you could safely assume from the media that EVERYONE is out to get you, nobody can be trusted and people are all crazy. I say though; that for every misdeed, there are probably thousands of interactions and transactions that go just as they should because all parties involved do the right thing.
As I was driving into work I passed through a few intersections; not one car ran a red light and hit me...as I was winding down a back road (probably too fast); not one of the oncoming cars left their lane for mine...and when I stopped at DD for my coffee; I got it, just as I had ordered, for just the amount of money I expected to pay. So as you are going through your day today, driving around town, running errands, shopping, whatever...instead of thinking about the one selfish jackass who cut in front of you and didn't use a blinker, think about all the people who DID do the right thing, all the transactions that went exactly as you expected, and maybe even all the folks who went above and beyond and were (gasp!) NICE. Think about how, for the most part, people are trustworthy and good...and if that fails, come see me in snack land, we'll gorge ourselves on sugar and fat and bitch about the ones who aren't.
Before my whole world fell apart, back when I was a country club mommy, I had the luxury of working only four days a month. When I did come in, I would sit wherever there was an empty computer, or I would be running around doing projects, so they never gave me my own desk. When I started on four days a week they had to make room for me, my giant desk, a new computer and a phone. And, in order to keep me in the flight department office, they squeezed me into the back corner where there is a frig, microwave, and plethora of snacks. I call it "snack land," and in addition to the 500 calorie cinnamon rolls that call my name all day long, I get lots of visitors from other departments, cuz we got the good stuff. Each of the other departments has their own version of snack land...admin has a full kitchen, nicer than mine at home (bitches), and there is a sweet break room right downstairs with a kitchenette and flat screen tv, but no where else can you get my company (lol) or the Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls (you can buy them at Sams, but I wouldn't recommend it as they are, like I said before, about a billion calories and HIGHLY addictive).
Well, one of my regular visitors to snack land hurt is back awhile back and has to take pain pills. Yesterday, when he came up for his other fix we got to talkin' about being under the influence and somehow before I knew it the whole department had started a conversation about either driving or flying while impaired. BTW the impaired flying was not due to drug or alcohol use, it was from sleep deprivation, but anyone who has gone twenty four or more hours without sleep, or who is trying to work on "the other side of the clock" knows it can be just as bad. Anyway, Jojo told us a story about her mother (or mother in law, can't remember) running a red light when she was taking pain pills. She actually had stopped for the light, and was sitting there, and then just decided she had sat long enough and gunned it into the intersection, causing a big fat mess.
That got me thinking about how much we implicitly trust other people, not just on the road but in general, and how MOST of the time, they don't let us down. Stories of people NOT doing the right thing are all over the place...if you want tales of people abusing trust, preying on others, and taking advantage; just sign online or open a newspaper...you could safely assume from the media that EVERYONE is out to get you, nobody can be trusted and people are all crazy. I say though; that for every misdeed, there are probably thousands of interactions and transactions that go just as they should because all parties involved do the right thing.
As I was driving into work I passed through a few intersections; not one car ran a red light and hit me...as I was winding down a back road (probably too fast); not one of the oncoming cars left their lane for mine...and when I stopped at DD for my coffee; I got it, just as I had ordered, for just the amount of money I expected to pay. So as you are going through your day today, driving around town, running errands, shopping, whatever...instead of thinking about the one selfish jackass who cut in front of you and didn't use a blinker, think about all the people who DID do the right thing, all the transactions that went exactly as you expected, and maybe even all the folks who went above and beyond and were (gasp!) NICE. Think about how, for the most part, people are trustworthy and good...and if that fails, come see me in snack land, we'll gorge ourselves on sugar and fat and bitch about the ones who aren't.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
again, NO rabid bats
Boo is officially enrolled to start Kindergarten in the fall. Yes, they usually try to get them enrolled a little earlier in the year, but Smash has been busy...anyway, it is done now, and in the enrollment package was a note to parents about appropriate and inappropriate things to allow the kids to bring to school. Well, rabid bats were NOT on the list, but perhaps they should have been...I thought I would re-run an old post, just as a little reminder, in case your kid is getting ready to start school too.
rabid bats
October 7, 2008
So you know those news headlines that pop up when you sign online? You can click on them to read the whole story...well this morning one of them caught my eye "Mom brings rabid bat to school." I read the story...turns out mom decided a dead rabid bat would be the perfect thing to bring in for show and tell...why of course! Long story short all 90 kids who touched the damn thing have to get a rabies series at a cost - to the school - of $70k...ooopsie. Got me thinkin'...what else should one NOT bring in to school for show and tell...you would think these would be common sense, but then again...
Dead rabid bunnies, dogs, cats, mice...oh you name it, pretty much any dead animal, probably not a good idea...come to think of it, LIVE rabid animals also NOT a good idea.
Poisonous snakes, like rattlers, copperheads, water moccasins, coral snakes...poisonous spiders too, especially in open containers, those little suckers tend to be quick and can get away from you before you know it.
Shotguns, pistols...weapons in general, although you might could get away with a stun gun...flame throwers and anti-aircraft missiles are especially cumbersome and would just be a pain.
Chemicals, nuclear waste, toxic/hazardous materials...these have to be marked and identified in very specific ways which is just a drag AND they can be stinky and messy...kids tend to be stinky and messy enough on their own.
Think that covers most of the biggies, OH, and razor blades, broken glass, heroin, porn...well you can bring the porn, but only for the teachers.
Monday, March 23, 2009
shitty
So overall a pretty shitty day, but did have a few bright spots...Pea was sick, so stayed home from work and took her to the doctor. Bad news; we were there a couple hours and spent a ton of money, good news; she didn't have anything serious and will be fine. Upon arriving home got an email saying one of my submissions to Divine Caroline had been published...yay! Bad news; getting published does not equal getting paid, good news; it is my first thing submitted to an editor, and they only changed one line. I want to be really excited and happy, but in dealing with the Pea, and trying to deal with DH regarding the Pea, it became very apparent; my life is a bigger disaster than I ever imagined. DH and I are now completely unable to talk to each other like rational adults.
How is it that two people who were able to make huge decisions together less than two years ago can't even decide how to pay a $9 Rx co-pay? I don't get it, and I am so damn tired of fighting. We had one of our crazy out of control screaming matches today. I was sitting in the car, parked at the pharmacy, I had just left the doctor's office and was, in addition to telling him how the Pea was, asking about some of our other issues and the conversation just exploded into a verbal assault on each other with every wrong either of us ever committed in the last 14 years brought up and thrown out there. It was HORRIBLE, and the worse part was the Pea heard it all and just started bawling...I wanted to die, right then and there...I swear my heart broke into a million pieces and I hung up the phone (which of course infuriated DH and just caused another fight later-uck) jumped out of the car so I could grab her up and stood in the Walgreens parking lot holding on for dear life and sobbing. I hated DH, I hated myself, and I hated the fact that once again I was making a fool out of myself in public, why do I keep doing that?! First Dunkin Donuts, now Walgreens, what's next Target, TJ Maxx? If you see a sobbing woman next time you are shopping, don't worry, it's just me having another breakdown...
So, speakin' of shitty...I snapped a picture for ya...don't know why this cracks me up so much...BTW, this particular house is one of the largest, nicest in the neighborhood and is waterfront (ok, its an over sized pond, but still)...we are now on day 3 of the toilet in the yard.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
pjs at the beach
I didn't go to yoga today...was feelin' a little blah, missin' my Pea and wanted to get her early. I did go to the beach though, since I needed some exercise and fresh air. Strangest thing...saw a dude in pajamas...red, flannel, top and bottom, I think firetrucks, but didn't get close enough to be sure, pajamas. When I walked by the first time I thought, "Wow, I think that guy has on pjs...that can't be right." When I walked by, going the other direction, I thought "Yeah, definitely pjs, WTF?"
Now, I am a big fan of the pajama...especially the flannel bottom, happens to be my loungewear of choice at home. I have pink plaid, dancing cats, frogs with umbrellas, and silly dogs...they are fun, and paired with a tee, very comfy. I have never worn my pjs to the beach. Come to think of it; I have never worn my pjs in public, at all, unless you count a hotel lobby and that was only cuz they put the damn coffee in the lobby. I know these days we, as a nation, are much more casual with our dress...even the white house is relaxing it's rules, and hey I am all for that...I wear jeans to work everyday and am damn glad. There are a few things that just don't work though, in my opinion, so I thought I would share...don't worry, I won't call the fashion police on you if you wanna go against my advice, but if I catch you, I just might write about it.
Ok, first off: PJs...we already touched on it, but seriously, NO PJS to the beach, or for that matter; the grocery store, mall, outside in general, and definitely NOT on a date.
Along those lines: slippers. I have been guilty of this one myself, yes I have, shortly after the Pea was born in my hormone heavy, sleep deprived state, I left the house, headed for the mall. I was very proud of myself for getting her and I both ready...I had clean hair, jeans that fit (sort of) and had crammed my giant boobies in a sweater...she had on the cutest little outfit EVER and we were gonna go show off. About half way there I realized I never put my boots on...I still had on slippers. I made a u-turn so I could go home and change and laughed until I cried. NO SLIPPERS outside, unless you are just gonna run through a drive-thru, I say that cuz I do that all the time.
Ok, let me preface this one with: if you are young and thin and cute you can probably get away with it, but the rest of us, ESPECIALLY if you have a big ol' beer belly or giant boobies and go sans bra: NO. The wife-beater tank...really, not a good idea. I happen to own few, I wear them with my pjs...again though, not in public, plus mine are Black Dog and way cool...the white, ribbed yucky ones...ech.
Last: the sweat pant. And no, not Juicy or BCBG yoga pants, not cool athletic Addidas or Nike pants that you guys throw on over your shorts and look ha-ha-hottttt in...NO, I'm talking; grey Hanes, elastic waist, elastic ankle, sweat pants. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...don't do it, ever...ever, never, ever, don't even own a pair, cuz ya know on laundry day you are gonna be tempted. They are not flattering on anyone, ANYone...not even Clooney could look hot in those...especially if they have pockets...OMG, I am laughing as I type just thinking about it.
Ok, think that about covers the biggies...there are more, hell I could go on for days, but those were the ones that popped in my head on the drive home from the beach...feel free to add a few of your own in the comments...I would love to hear. And yes, I know some of you guys hate the giant sunglasses on us girls, we look like bugs, or like we just had cataract surgery, so I will just get that one out of the way now, BTW, did you see my new picture? I cropped out the pjs and slippers.
Now, I am a big fan of the pajama...especially the flannel bottom, happens to be my loungewear of choice at home. I have pink plaid, dancing cats, frogs with umbrellas, and silly dogs...they are fun, and paired with a tee, very comfy. I have never worn my pjs to the beach. Come to think of it; I have never worn my pjs in public, at all, unless you count a hotel lobby and that was only cuz they put the damn coffee in the lobby. I know these days we, as a nation, are much more casual with our dress...even the white house is relaxing it's rules, and hey I am all for that...I wear jeans to work everyday and am damn glad. There are a few things that just don't work though, in my opinion, so I thought I would share...don't worry, I won't call the fashion police on you if you wanna go against my advice, but if I catch you, I just might write about it.
Ok, first off: PJs...we already touched on it, but seriously, NO PJS to the beach, or for that matter; the grocery store, mall, outside in general, and definitely NOT on a date.
Along those lines: slippers. I have been guilty of this one myself, yes I have, shortly after the Pea was born in my hormone heavy, sleep deprived state, I left the house, headed for the mall. I was very proud of myself for getting her and I both ready...I had clean hair, jeans that fit (sort of) and had crammed my giant boobies in a sweater...she had on the cutest little outfit EVER and we were gonna go show off. About half way there I realized I never put my boots on...I still had on slippers. I made a u-turn so I could go home and change and laughed until I cried. NO SLIPPERS outside, unless you are just gonna run through a drive-thru, I say that cuz I do that all the time.
Ok, let me preface this one with: if you are young and thin and cute you can probably get away with it, but the rest of us, ESPECIALLY if you have a big ol' beer belly or giant boobies and go sans bra: NO. The wife-beater tank...really, not a good idea. I happen to own few, I wear them with my pjs...again though, not in public, plus mine are Black Dog and way cool...the white, ribbed yucky ones...ech.
Last: the sweat pant. And no, not Juicy or BCBG yoga pants, not cool athletic Addidas or Nike pants that you guys throw on over your shorts and look ha-ha-hottttt in...NO, I'm talking; grey Hanes, elastic waist, elastic ankle, sweat pants. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...don't do it, ever...ever, never, ever, don't even own a pair, cuz ya know on laundry day you are gonna be tempted. They are not flattering on anyone, ANYone...not even Clooney could look hot in those...especially if they have pockets...OMG, I am laughing as I type just thinking about it.
Ok, think that about covers the biggies...there are more, hell I could go on for days, but those were the ones that popped in my head on the drive home from the beach...feel free to add a few of your own in the comments...I would love to hear. And yes, I know some of you guys hate the giant sunglasses on us girls, we look like bugs, or like we just had cataract surgery, so I will just get that one out of the way now, BTW, did you see my new picture? I cropped out the pjs and slippers.
Joan of Arc
Here is the painting...it was worth the soaked clothes and the blistered feet, it must be seen in person to truly appreciate. It is one of my favorite...check out the dimensions. Artist:Jules Bastien-Lepage (French, 1848–1884)
Title: Joan of Arc
Date:1879
Medium:Oil on canvas
Dimensions:100 x 110 in.
not afraid
I am branching out...I just published my first blog entry on a fellow web site...it was yesterdays post and I got some good feedback so I decided to put it out there:
http://www.yourtango.com/200915163/toilets-yards
Anyhoo...pretty excited, because I have been meaning to get my stuff out there...wanting to write something for DivineCaroline, The Frisky or Your Tango, but just haven't...I have blamed it on time constraints, but really it was fear. Well, fear be damned...it is time to stop being scared and start working toward my new life.
I am not afraid...I was born to do this. - Joan of Arc
For mom: Remember that day? Running through the central park zoo after it started to pour, getting to the Met and being soaked, stripping naked in the bathroom to dry our clothes under the hand dryers...all so we could go see the painting of Joan of Arc.
http://www.yourtango.com/200915163/toilets-yards
Anyhoo...pretty excited, because I have been meaning to get my stuff out there...wanting to write something for DivineCaroline, The Frisky or Your Tango, but just haven't...I have blamed it on time constraints, but really it was fear. Well, fear be damned...it is time to stop being scared and start working toward my new life.
I am not afraid...I was born to do this. - Joan of Arc
For mom: Remember that day? Running through the central park zoo after it started to pour, getting to the Met and being soaked, stripping naked in the bathroom to dry our clothes under the hand dryers...all so we could go see the painting of Joan of Arc.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
toilets in yards
I don't know what to do with myself. The Pea is with her daddy, I have no plans, and I am crawling the walls. I am antsy and sick to my stomach and I know I should get out of the house, go find something to do, maybe go to a movie, but then the whole spending money thing comes into play and I really shouldn't do that, so here I sit, with nothing to write, but not knowing what else to do. I was hoping to put together some sort of story. This morning when I went out for coffee there was a toilet sitting on the front lawn of my neighbors house. I almost went back for my camera because it was so random and silly and gross all at the same time and I thought I should snap a picture, but I was jonesin' for some caffeine and some human contact and instead, I continued on. When I got back to my house ANOTHER neighbor had a toilet sitting in their front lawn. Did I not get the memo? Was today put your toilet outside day? It was so random and bizarre I thought for sure I would find a way to make it into a story by now, but no dice...nevertheless I wanted to share, because I am still rather perplexed.
Anyway, after returning home, I read an article on The Frisky by John DeVore...it was about dating losers...well it started out that way, and then he got to the meat of it, which is we are all losers, and finding someone who finds you lovely and amazing anyway, and with whom you feel comfortable being a mess is really what it should be about...wanted to share a quote, because I wish I had written it:
Which brings me to a bigger point: Really, we’re all losers. We’re all uniquely dorky snowflakes. Love, real love, not mutually-masturbatory infatuation, is forgiving someone for being human. And being human is being a loser, an embarrassing, spectacular mess of contradictions, insecurities, and pimples. It’s what makes us all so interesting.
As I happen to openly admit to my mess of contradictions, insecurities, and yes even pimples, and am regularly embarrassed for myself, I identified. It has taken an awful long time to get to a point where I can admit I'm not perfect...or rather, that I can admit it is OK to not be. For so long I tried, and of course failed, and as a result felt myself unlovable, not worthy, and a failure...I tried to present to the world a perfect facade, and of course it was just that, a facade...and now that the false exterior has been stripped away, the real me is here, out in the open, for all to see. It is terrifying...it is terrifying for a perfectionist to admit imperfection, to admit foibles, and insecurities, failures, and fears, to subject yourself to criticism without getting defensive or running away. I have almost shut down this blog, closed it, made it private so many times since going public, because the realization that people out there knew I was f*cked up made my skin crawl, and yet, I continue, because I know that if I have any chance at all of ever having a real connection with someone, I have to. If I want the Pea to be ok with putting her real self out there in the world to find her fellow "dorky snowflake," I have to show her the way...if I am scared to do it, she will be as well.
Well enough of that I suppose, there is sharing one's self and being honest and there is just TMI...at least my toilet isn't on my front lawn...talk about putting all your shit out there for everyone to see.
Anyway, after returning home, I read an article on The Frisky by John DeVore...it was about dating losers...well it started out that way, and then he got to the meat of it, which is we are all losers, and finding someone who finds you lovely and amazing anyway, and with whom you feel comfortable being a mess is really what it should be about...wanted to share a quote, because I wish I had written it:
Which brings me to a bigger point: Really, we’re all losers. We’re all uniquely dorky snowflakes. Love, real love, not mutually-masturbatory infatuation, is forgiving someone for being human. And being human is being a loser, an embarrassing, spectacular mess of contradictions, insecurities, and pimples. It’s what makes us all so interesting.
As I happen to openly admit to my mess of contradictions, insecurities, and yes even pimples, and am regularly embarrassed for myself, I identified. It has taken an awful long time to get to a point where I can admit I'm not perfect...or rather, that I can admit it is OK to not be. For so long I tried, and of course failed, and as a result felt myself unlovable, not worthy, and a failure...I tried to present to the world a perfect facade, and of course it was just that, a facade...and now that the false exterior has been stripped away, the real me is here, out in the open, for all to see. It is terrifying...it is terrifying for a perfectionist to admit imperfection, to admit foibles, and insecurities, failures, and fears, to subject yourself to criticism without getting defensive or running away. I have almost shut down this blog, closed it, made it private so many times since going public, because the realization that people out there knew I was f*cked up made my skin crawl, and yet, I continue, because I know that if I have any chance at all of ever having a real connection with someone, I have to. If I want the Pea to be ok with putting her real self out there in the world to find her fellow "dorky snowflake," I have to show her the way...if I am scared to do it, she will be as well.
Well enough of that I suppose, there is sharing one's self and being honest and there is just TMI...at least my toilet isn't on my front lawn...talk about putting all your shit out there for everyone to see.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
tree frogs and naked babies
I like to think of myself as a spontaneous, go with the flow, somewhat wild and crazy gal…alas, I am like most 35 year old mommies though, and my life is made up of rituals and routines, carried out every day, much the same way, with the only wild and craziness coming from an occasionally streaking baby after bath time.
One of my daily routines starts when I arrive at work and is almost always the same. I walk into my office and whether it is a Monday, Wednesday and everyone is there already or a Tuesday, Thursday and I am the first, I head to my desk, take off my coat and stuff my coat and purse in the top drawer (it is a big drawer). I log onto my computer and sign into my work email, aol account, and igoogle. If there are any work emails to return or attend to, I do, and then I check the aol, and then igoogle. My google web page is where all the fun stuff is.
My “theme” is New York Yankees, and along with a picture of the stadium (the “real” one, not that new piece of shit they built…I’m not bitter…OK, OK, it’s fine, it’s beautiful blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t have the history and I liked the old one) are all of my gadgets. I have: the weather, my horoscope, Gmail, Quotes of the Day, Bonehead of the Day, Today’s Reason to Drink, ESPN.com, NYTimes.com, and my pet Tree Frog.
So, I feed my frog (that sounds dirty, doesn’t it?), read the quotes and my horoscope, check the weather, and scan reason to drink, bonehead and the headlines. Usually at least one ESPN headline grabs my attention and I go there to check out the story. Then, even if no headline grabs my attention I go to the NY Times and try to read most of the online paper, time allowing…at a minimum I read the world section…if I have time, I hit the U.S., regional, travel, opinions, etc. and whatever other stories grab me. I usually keep it open all day, attending to job stuff when I have to, and then whenever there is a lull, I go back and read more.
The WHOLE point of this entire post is; I wanted to share something I read this morning…it was a blog post by one of the writers…he usually tackles more serious issues, and it was nice to read his very humorous take on March Madness. If you get a chance, check it out…if you like my writing you will love his (since after all, he is a REAL Pulitzer prize winning writer and actually KNOWS what he is doing).
http://egan.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/18/the-case-for-hoopsteria/
After that, go getcha a Tree Frog…http://abowman.com/google-modules/tree-frog/, and cross your fingers for me that the only thing wild and crazy in my life tonight, is the Pea running naked through the house dripping water all over everything.
One of my daily routines starts when I arrive at work and is almost always the same. I walk into my office and whether it is a Monday, Wednesday and everyone is there already or a Tuesday, Thursday and I am the first, I head to my desk, take off my coat and stuff my coat and purse in the top drawer (it is a big drawer). I log onto my computer and sign into my work email, aol account, and igoogle. If there are any work emails to return or attend to, I do, and then I check the aol, and then igoogle. My google web page is where all the fun stuff is.
My “theme” is New York Yankees, and along with a picture of the stadium (the “real” one, not that new piece of shit they built…I’m not bitter…OK, OK, it’s fine, it’s beautiful blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t have the history and I liked the old one) are all of my gadgets. I have: the weather, my horoscope, Gmail, Quotes of the Day, Bonehead of the Day, Today’s Reason to Drink, ESPN.com, NYTimes.com, and my pet Tree Frog.
So, I feed my frog (that sounds dirty, doesn’t it?), read the quotes and my horoscope, check the weather, and scan reason to drink, bonehead and the headlines. Usually at least one ESPN headline grabs my attention and I go there to check out the story. Then, even if no headline grabs my attention I go to the NY Times and try to read most of the online paper, time allowing…at a minimum I read the world section…if I have time, I hit the U.S., regional, travel, opinions, etc. and whatever other stories grab me. I usually keep it open all day, attending to job stuff when I have to, and then whenever there is a lull, I go back and read more.
The WHOLE point of this entire post is; I wanted to share something I read this morning…it was a blog post by one of the writers…he usually tackles more serious issues, and it was nice to read his very humorous take on March Madness. If you get a chance, check it out…if you like my writing you will love his (since after all, he is a REAL Pulitzer prize winning writer and actually KNOWS what he is doing).
http://egan.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/18/the-case-for-hoopsteria/
After that, go getcha a Tree Frog…http://abowman.com/google-modules/tree-frog/, and cross your fingers for me that the only thing wild and crazy in my life tonight, is the Pea running naked through the house dripping water all over everything.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
thanks
My overall anger level was back up to crazy last night…I didn’t run over anyone, but the whole session the other day? Out the window…I was full on pissed. I will not go into details on this public a forum, but let’s just say, as far as I am concerned, I understand NOW how a woman in Georgia beat her ex-husband near to death, WITH A SHOE. To add to my pissedoffedness some jackass keeps calling me, looking for the person that USED to have my phone number, and he woke me up at 5am this morning. I had the alarm set for 5:25 and I REALLY needed that extra 25 minutes. After the half asleep cussin’ he received, though, don’t think he will be callin’ anymore.
On a good note, I am feelin’ much better NOW. I had a very productive day at work…I have projects up to my eyeballs, I am crazy busy, and it feels good. The other, and probably more important, factor in my mood is the overwhelming support I got over the last 24 hours. I gotta say, despite having a real hard time reaching out sometimes, when I do, I don’t ever regret it. Both Mclovin and Booya were there to talk me off the ledge last night…Smash built me up and got me on track this morning…following a wee breakdown upon walking into work a few minutes late and feeling overwhelmed at a meeting and project that was thrust upon me, my work “family” rallied around me and offered up what I can only describe as a circling of the wagons…and then to top it all off, Gigi and Dude were there this afternoon to further build me up and make me laugh and get me happy.
I have never, in my life, felt so cared for and supported and well, loved – corny as it sounds. My relationship with my parents is the best it has ever been, I have more (real) friends than I ever have, and I have never felt so secure and so sure that no matter what, I (and the Pea) will be OK. I have no idea where we will end up, or what life will look like, but I am confident that with the people I have in my life, the rest won’t matter. I was a mess last night, and never did either of my boys lead me to believe (although I am sure they were thinking it) that I was a full on pain in the ass. This morning, despite Smash having a whole lotta her own stress right now, I was able to rant and vent and got some very sound advice. When I just needed to cry for a few minutes and get a hug, all my office mates were there, and never did I feel embarrassed or silly or stupid. And when I needed to just chat and be cheered up, my buds made themselves available, despite their own lives and jobs and issues.
I am blessed, in so many ways…I am thinking back to my Thanksgiving post, ditto that now…and thanks, all of you…you know who you are.
On a good note, I am feelin’ much better NOW. I had a very productive day at work…I have projects up to my eyeballs, I am crazy busy, and it feels good. The other, and probably more important, factor in my mood is the overwhelming support I got over the last 24 hours. I gotta say, despite having a real hard time reaching out sometimes, when I do, I don’t ever regret it. Both Mclovin and Booya were there to talk me off the ledge last night…Smash built me up and got me on track this morning…following a wee breakdown upon walking into work a few minutes late and feeling overwhelmed at a meeting and project that was thrust upon me, my work “family” rallied around me and offered up what I can only describe as a circling of the wagons…and then to top it all off, Gigi and Dude were there this afternoon to further build me up and make me laugh and get me happy.
I have never, in my life, felt so cared for and supported and well, loved – corny as it sounds. My relationship with my parents is the best it has ever been, I have more (real) friends than I ever have, and I have never felt so secure and so sure that no matter what, I (and the Pea) will be OK. I have no idea where we will end up, or what life will look like, but I am confident that with the people I have in my life, the rest won’t matter. I was a mess last night, and never did either of my boys lead me to believe (although I am sure they were thinking it) that I was a full on pain in the ass. This morning, despite Smash having a whole lotta her own stress right now, I was able to rant and vent and got some very sound advice. When I just needed to cry for a few minutes and get a hug, all my office mates were there, and never did I feel embarrassed or silly or stupid. And when I needed to just chat and be cheered up, my buds made themselves available, despite their own lives and jobs and issues.
I am blessed, in so many ways…I am thinking back to my Thanksgiving post, ditto that now…and thanks, all of you…you know who you are.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
lou-eee-veille
The NCAA basketball tournament is starting...out of Selection Sunday came all the teams and brackets and the overall number one seed is Louisville. Not a big basketball fan myself, I will start watching college now, and I don't watch pro at all...it happens to be the one sport I know the most about, having been the scorekeeper for both the JV and Varsity teams at my HS (I was a math nerd, what can I say...) but for some reason I just don't get the same enjoyment from watching that as I do football or baseball.
So what's the point of the above? Well, I don't really have one, but having Louisville selected as the number one made me think of the city itself, and all my visits there, and unfortunately it also made me remember one particular flight into Louisville, so I thought I would share.
In a former life, I was a flight attendant for a regional airline. We had a few "big jets" 737s and F100s, but the majority of our fleet was made up of "baby jets," 50 seat regional jets that required only one flight attendant. Upon completing my training I jumped at the chance to work on the big jets and set out on my first trip to Boston...it was AWFUL...I was the junior FA paired with two nasty bitches (one male, one female) and after that trip, despite giving up overnights in Orlando, NY, and Boston, I vowed to NEVER work on a big jet again, if I could help it. For the most part I was able to do that, and as a result spent most of my overnights in places like Columbus, Rochester, Indianapolis, Buffalo and you guessed it, Louisville.
Well, at the start of what turned into the "trip from hell" I was feelin' pretty damn good...I had just recently had my braces removed so my teeth were straight and pretty, I had traded in my uniform pants for skirts, having lost 15 pounds the first month of flying (15 hour days, running up and down airplanes and airports, with no time to eat will do that), and I had a new pair of shoes...I was hot shit, or so I thought.
I greeted my crew at the airplane and was informed we were delayed into "Lou-eee-veille" and to sit tight. The captain used the, grate on my very last nerve, "Lou-eee-veille" pronunciation of the city rather than the "proper" "Lou-ah-vll" pronunciation and EVERY flight I would have a local tell ME to tell the captain that he sounded like a jackass...I never told him, preferring to snicker whenever he announced our arrival into "Lou-eee-veille." Turns out we were delayed due to thunderstorms around the area. For some reason that area gets a lot of thunderstorms, even in winter, and we were forever delayed. I plopped myself down in the second row and put up my feet on the seat in front of me. "New shoes?" asked the captain, "Yes," I said, surprised he had noticed (!) "Yeah, and they were a steal at $49, but you might wanna take the price stickers off the bottom if you are gonna keep puttin' your feet up like that." Duh, "Oh, yeah...thanks."
We finally got off the ground, the "Lou-eee-veille" capt, very quiet first officer, me and my new shoes, and NINE passengers. I figured I was in for a nice easy flight, despite the warnings from the captain that it would be a bumpy ride. Thirty minutes into the flight it gets NASTY...the plane was getting tossed around the sky and I strapped into my jumpseat and announced there would be no service. Five minutes later the call button dinged...are you f*ckin' kidding me...I unstrapped myself, plastered on a smile, and lurched to the back of the plane, holding onto seat backs and trying my best to stay upright. Turns out our youngest passenger had just thrown up and mama needed some help...OK, if she asked me for a coffee I think I would have slapped her (and YES, that happened...always amazed me some IDIOT would ask for HOT coffee when we cancelled service due to turbulence).
Ok, not gonna go into the blow by blow of the next thirty minutes or so, but lets just say; smell travels in a "baby jet," and the turbulence was BAD, and by the time we were headed down to the ground in our final descent, EIGHT of our nine passengers had all gotten sick. Somehow I managed not to, but I wanted to die. The only hold out, a teenage girl, traveling alone and sitting in the first row (seat 1C, yes, I remember), asked me if we were gonna be landing soon, cuz she was scared and didn't feel very good. Sitting in my jumpseat, I was about 4 inches away from and facing those passengers sitting in the first row, and I always had the most "interesting" conversations on take-off and landing when I had no choice but to sit there. As we touched down, well slammed down, the girl in 1C started to retch...and while I think she tried not to, given our close quarters she had no choice, and she THREW UP on my brand new shoes.
"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Lou-ee-veille, sorry about the rough ride."
So, regardless of how the basketball team does in the tournament, Louisville will forever be known, to me, as "the city where I had a girl throw up on my brand new shoes."
Happy St. Patty's Day!!!!
So what's the point of the above? Well, I don't really have one, but having Louisville selected as the number one made me think of the city itself, and all my visits there, and unfortunately it also made me remember one particular flight into Louisville, so I thought I would share.
In a former life, I was a flight attendant for a regional airline. We had a few "big jets" 737s and F100s, but the majority of our fleet was made up of "baby jets," 50 seat regional jets that required only one flight attendant. Upon completing my training I jumped at the chance to work on the big jets and set out on my first trip to Boston...it was AWFUL...I was the junior FA paired with two nasty bitches (one male, one female) and after that trip, despite giving up overnights in Orlando, NY, and Boston, I vowed to NEVER work on a big jet again, if I could help it. For the most part I was able to do that, and as a result spent most of my overnights in places like Columbus, Rochester, Indianapolis, Buffalo and you guessed it, Louisville.
Well, at the start of what turned into the "trip from hell" I was feelin' pretty damn good...I had just recently had my braces removed so my teeth were straight and pretty, I had traded in my uniform pants for skirts, having lost 15 pounds the first month of flying (15 hour days, running up and down airplanes and airports, with no time to eat will do that), and I had a new pair of shoes...I was hot shit, or so I thought.
I greeted my crew at the airplane and was informed we were delayed into "Lou-eee-veille" and to sit tight. The captain used the, grate on my very last nerve, "Lou-eee-veille" pronunciation of the city rather than the "proper" "Lou-ah-vll" pronunciation and EVERY flight I would have a local tell ME to tell the captain that he sounded like a jackass...I never told him, preferring to snicker whenever he announced our arrival into "Lou-eee-veille." Turns out we were delayed due to thunderstorms around the area. For some reason that area gets a lot of thunderstorms, even in winter, and we were forever delayed. I plopped myself down in the second row and put up my feet on the seat in front of me. "New shoes?" asked the captain, "Yes," I said, surprised he had noticed (!) "Yeah, and they were a steal at $49, but you might wanna take the price stickers off the bottom if you are gonna keep puttin' your feet up like that." Duh, "Oh, yeah...thanks."
We finally got off the ground, the "Lou-eee-veille" capt, very quiet first officer, me and my new shoes, and NINE passengers. I figured I was in for a nice easy flight, despite the warnings from the captain that it would be a bumpy ride. Thirty minutes into the flight it gets NASTY...the plane was getting tossed around the sky and I strapped into my jumpseat and announced there would be no service. Five minutes later the call button dinged...are you f*ckin' kidding me...I unstrapped myself, plastered on a smile, and lurched to the back of the plane, holding onto seat backs and trying my best to stay upright. Turns out our youngest passenger had just thrown up and mama needed some help...OK, if she asked me for a coffee I think I would have slapped her (and YES, that happened...always amazed me some IDIOT would ask for HOT coffee when we cancelled service due to turbulence).
Ok, not gonna go into the blow by blow of the next thirty minutes or so, but lets just say; smell travels in a "baby jet," and the turbulence was BAD, and by the time we were headed down to the ground in our final descent, EIGHT of our nine passengers had all gotten sick. Somehow I managed not to, but I wanted to die. The only hold out, a teenage girl, traveling alone and sitting in the first row (seat 1C, yes, I remember), asked me if we were gonna be landing soon, cuz she was scared and didn't feel very good. Sitting in my jumpseat, I was about 4 inches away from and facing those passengers sitting in the first row, and I always had the most "interesting" conversations on take-off and landing when I had no choice but to sit there. As we touched down, well slammed down, the girl in 1C started to retch...and while I think she tried not to, given our close quarters she had no choice, and she THREW UP on my brand new shoes.
"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Lou-ee-veille, sorry about the rough ride."
So, regardless of how the basketball team does in the tournament, Louisville will forever be known, to me, as "the city where I had a girl throw up on my brand new shoes."
Happy St. Patty's Day!!!!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
next week yoga
So, I thought, after having such a good time on our walk yesterday, that we would do it again today. The forecast had been calling for rain, but it wasn't, and I was antsy, having not gotten out of the house at all, so we set out...
When we were about as far from the house as we could get (a good mile or so) it started to rain...ok, no problem, I will just turn around and head back...then it started raining harder...I am in a white tee and my "Sunday bra" (ya know the one that is basically thread bare and you only wear cuz all the other ones are in the laundry) well, because it offers NO SUPPORT, I can't run (that would hurt) so I am walking pretty fast, with my head down. I am not really paying any attention to anything other than the path directly in front of me, and I am just trying to get home as fast as possible. The stroller has a sun cover so the Pea is "safe" and the dog is trotting along nicely beside me. Well, right as we were rounding a corner, almost home, a couple of ducks (which I hadn't noticed), off the side of the path, in a yard, decide to waddle over to us to see if we have snacks...this apparently pisses off the dog and she takes off after them, hair on end, barking like a maniac. This jerks me off my feet and toward the ducks, which makes the stroller veer off the path in the opposite direction, INTO THE POND. I FREAK OUT, trying to rescue the stroller before it goes all the way in the water, and keep the dog from eating a duck...all the while being pulled in two different directions and giving the whole damn neighborhood a good glimpse at what I would look like in a wet t-shirt contest. OMG...by the time we got back to the house I was soaking wet, pissed off as hell and my heart rate was about 200 bpm. On the bright side; the dog seemed to have a blast and the Pea thought it was HILARIOUS and wanted to go "do it again mommy!"
There is no moral, no witty ending, no "something to ponder" I just wanted to share...thought you might get a laugh...usually I go to yoga on Sunday afternoons...next week, definitely yoga.
When we were about as far from the house as we could get (a good mile or so) it started to rain...ok, no problem, I will just turn around and head back...then it started raining harder...I am in a white tee and my "Sunday bra" (ya know the one that is basically thread bare and you only wear cuz all the other ones are in the laundry) well, because it offers NO SUPPORT, I can't run (that would hurt) so I am walking pretty fast, with my head down. I am not really paying any attention to anything other than the path directly in front of me, and I am just trying to get home as fast as possible. The stroller has a sun cover so the Pea is "safe" and the dog is trotting along nicely beside me. Well, right as we were rounding a corner, almost home, a couple of ducks (which I hadn't noticed), off the side of the path, in a yard, decide to waddle over to us to see if we have snacks...this apparently pisses off the dog and she takes off after them, hair on end, barking like a maniac. This jerks me off my feet and toward the ducks, which makes the stroller veer off the path in the opposite direction, INTO THE POND. I FREAK OUT, trying to rescue the stroller before it goes all the way in the water, and keep the dog from eating a duck...all the while being pulled in two different directions and giving the whole damn neighborhood a good glimpse at what I would look like in a wet t-shirt contest. OMG...by the time we got back to the house I was soaking wet, pissed off as hell and my heart rate was about 200 bpm. On the bright side; the dog seemed to have a blast and the Pea thought it was HILARIOUS and wanted to go "do it again mommy!"
There is no moral, no witty ending, no "something to ponder" I just wanted to share...thought you might get a laugh...usually I go to yoga on Sunday afternoons...next week, definitely yoga.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
ducks and money
Feelin' pretty good today...just got back from a walk around the pond with the Pea and the dog...both enjoyed the ducks immensely, although for different reasons. The Pea likes to feed them, the dog likes to chase them...works beautifully, she entices them with the Cheerios, and then when they get close enough to actually eat them the dog goes nutty and chases them away...if it weren't so mean it would be funny. Been pretty lazy overall today, other than the walk...my house is trashed (as usual) and I really don't care. Had a great day yesterday...a good session with Mimi and then a movie and a few beers with a girlfriend. Saw Confessions Of A Shopaholic, wouldn't recommend...it was fine for a rainy Friday afternoon with nothing else to do, but otherwise pretty silly and predictable. The great thing, however, was it kinda helped me put in perspective what I had just talked about in my session with Mimi and I have felt pretty good about it ever since.
See, I have been pissed off as hell at DH, because of a recent financial issue, and since it hasn't resolved and is, in fact, just getting worse, I am losing the show. For me, being in debt and not having total control of money brings up all kinds of major issues...when you grow up really poor, and you know it, and you have actually spent time homeless and hungry, whenever things get a little bit scary, that is where your mind goes. And while I know, right now, I have enough friends and family to NOT let that happen, I can't get my gut to stop turning in knots. I can't help that helpless feeling and because it is in part due to DH, I can't help hating him and wanting to run over him with my car.
Mimi encouraged me to get it all out in the office and rant and cuss like a mad woman (which I did) because running over DH would not solve the problem, and would probably just make things worse. She pointed out that a: hospital bills would only add to our current pile of debt and just piss me off more, b: I do not look good in orange or shackles, and c: I just got my car back all nice and pretty and would not want another big, fat dent. I begrudgingly agreed, and proceeded to stomp and scream and say f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, and get all (ok, most) of my anger out in her cozy little office...good times.
Seeing the girl in the movie work herself out of her mess (with the help of family and friends, although in an admittedly stupid Hollywood way) got me thinking about ways I can do the same. Unfortunately, I don't have a whole closet full of designer clothes I can sell, but with tenacity and ingenuity I think I can do it...I hope I can do it. In the meantime I can suck it up and realize I am doing pretty great right now considering...
And hell, if we get to where we can't afford groceries, instead of running over DH, I can just run over one of those ducks, cook him up for dinner...
No? Not a good idea? Damn...
See, I have been pissed off as hell at DH, because of a recent financial issue, and since it hasn't resolved and is, in fact, just getting worse, I am losing the show. For me, being in debt and not having total control of money brings up all kinds of major issues...when you grow up really poor, and you know it, and you have actually spent time homeless and hungry, whenever things get a little bit scary, that is where your mind goes. And while I know, right now, I have enough friends and family to NOT let that happen, I can't get my gut to stop turning in knots. I can't help that helpless feeling and because it is in part due to DH, I can't help hating him and wanting to run over him with my car.
Mimi encouraged me to get it all out in the office and rant and cuss like a mad woman (which I did) because running over DH would not solve the problem, and would probably just make things worse. She pointed out that a: hospital bills would only add to our current pile of debt and just piss me off more, b: I do not look good in orange or shackles, and c: I just got my car back all nice and pretty and would not want another big, fat dent. I begrudgingly agreed, and proceeded to stomp and scream and say f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, and get all (ok, most) of my anger out in her cozy little office...good times.
Seeing the girl in the movie work herself out of her mess (with the help of family and friends, although in an admittedly stupid Hollywood way) got me thinking about ways I can do the same. Unfortunately, I don't have a whole closet full of designer clothes I can sell, but with tenacity and ingenuity I think I can do it...I hope I can do it. In the meantime I can suck it up and realize I am doing pretty great right now considering...
And hell, if we get to where we can't afford groceries, instead of running over DH, I can just run over one of those ducks, cook him up for dinner...
No? Not a good idea? Damn...
Friday, March 13, 2009
hot crazy
Wow... a lot of discussion came out of the last post...seems there are all different kinds of high maintenance and it is not necessarily a bad thing. Ok, to clarify, MY definition, as I was writing, was needy, clingy, selfish, diva...prone to drama and craziness, and always needing to be the center of attention (think: Britney Spears). I would consider that type of girl a pain in the ass, and therefore NOT ideal. I wasn't really talking about someone who must always look their best, who spends a lot of time and money on themselves, and who demands only nice things...although quite often the two do go hand in hand. The guys, apparently, were thinking more towards the latter, and they didn't see it as bad, unless taken to the extreme.
The general consensus was basically: Jaguars are high maintenance too, but we would whole lot rather have one of those than a Toyota Corolla. The whole discussion also brought up the "crazy hot scale" ya know, the idea that the hotter a girl is, the crazier she is allowed to (and most likely will) be. Guys will put up with a lot of shit for a hot chick.
Ok, let me just say this...I think everyone should take care of themselves and try to look their best. I don't have the time or money for manicures, hair extensions, botox, tanning etc, but I do try to look as good as I can, most of the time. If I have a party to go to, I put on a dress and take my time with hair and make-up...if, however, I am running to Walmart on Sunday morning, my hair is in a pony tail and I most likely have on jeans and a tee. I don't think anyone should be a church mouse doormat and let others take advantage or walk over them. There is nothing wrong (in my mind) with taking care of yourself first so you can offer up your best self to take care of others. There is nothing wrong (again in my mind) with being a little bit selfish, a little bit crazy, or the center of attention, ONCE IN AWHILE...anything taken to the extreme though: not a good idea.
And now, you will have to excuse me...I need to go put my hair in a pony tail and throw on some jeans...which means; I will NOT look hot, and therefore, NOT be actin' all crazy like (not today anyway).
The general consensus was basically: Jaguars are high maintenance too, but we would whole lot rather have one of those than a Toyota Corolla. The whole discussion also brought up the "crazy hot scale" ya know, the idea that the hotter a girl is, the crazier she is allowed to (and most likely will) be. Guys will put up with a lot of shit for a hot chick.
Ok, let me just say this...I think everyone should take care of themselves and try to look their best. I don't have the time or money for manicures, hair extensions, botox, tanning etc, but I do try to look as good as I can, most of the time. If I have a party to go to, I put on a dress and take my time with hair and make-up...if, however, I am running to Walmart on Sunday morning, my hair is in a pony tail and I most likely have on jeans and a tee. I don't think anyone should be a church mouse doormat and let others take advantage or walk over them. There is nothing wrong (in my mind) with taking care of yourself first so you can offer up your best self to take care of others. There is nothing wrong (again in my mind) with being a little bit selfish, a little bit crazy, or the center of attention, ONCE IN AWHILE...anything taken to the extreme though: not a good idea.
And now, you will have to excuse me...I need to go put my hair in a pony tail and throw on some jeans...which means; I will NOT look hot, and therefore, NOT be actin' all crazy like (not today anyway).
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
li' bit crazy
The other night Mclovin informed me that I am just a little bit crazy, and prone to drama, I took this to translate into I am high maintenance...and I don't want to be one of those "high maintenance chicks." So tonight I asked Booya, and while he disagreed with Mclovin's assessment (to which I recounted a particular episode of crazy that Mclovin got to witness, just so he would have all the facts) he DID say that I was, perhaps, kinda high maintenance...he specifically mentioned a few "talking of the ledge" episodes of late. Well, that got us talking about different kinds of crazy and drama in general, and all the things that we girls (and guys) do that could be considered, if not full blown crazy, at least a little bit kooky.
Well, the other night JD asked me for some "girlvice" cuz he was convinced his girl might be headin' down drama drive and fast, and if that was the case crazytown wasn't far behind. It occurred to me; what girls perceive as normal behavior in a relationship, guys consider crazy, high maintenance, drama. He COULD NOT understand why a seemingly normal girl would act so crazy over something so little...so I asked him to explain. Seems, she called, and he didn't answer and when he finally did call back, much later, she was kinda freakin' out...wonderin' where he was, what he was doing, and if he was ok, and why he hadn't called sooner.
See, to him, she was not trusting him, jumping to conclusions, overreacting, and just in general actin' all crazy like, but what I tried to tell him was: she was worried. We girls do that. If someone who ALWAYS has his phone on, and always answers, suddenly stops, well that means something is wrong. It goes something like this in our heads:
immediately after call: "Huh, guess he is busy...or maybe in the shower, no problem."
ten minutes later: "Wonder why he hasn't called...that's weird."
twenty minutes later: "Ok, WTF...he should be off the phone, out of the shower or where he can talk by now, why hasn't he called?"
thirty minutes later: "Does he not want to talk to me...he knows I called, what if that's it, what if he looked at his phone, rolled his eyes, and put his phone back in his pocket...did I do something to piss him off?"
forty five minutes later: "Oh God, what if he is with another girl?"
one hour later: "Oh God, what if he has been in an accident and is hurt?"
One hour and one minute later: "Oh God, what if he is dead?! What if he WAS taking a shower and slipped and fell and cracked his head open and..."
Oh, there's the phone...
her: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!!!"
him: "What? I was at work...why are you getting all crazy?"
Seriously guys, we go there...and call it crazy or whatever you want to call it, but it isn't ALWAYS cuz we don't trust you, or worse, we are whacked...if we like you, especially if we REALLY, really like you; we worry about you, we worry a lot because we know you do stupid stuff (you ARE a guy) and we want you healthy and happy and in one piece...
...so you can answer your damn phone.
Well, the other night JD asked me for some "girlvice" cuz he was convinced his girl might be headin' down drama drive and fast, and if that was the case crazytown wasn't far behind. It occurred to me; what girls perceive as normal behavior in a relationship, guys consider crazy, high maintenance, drama. He COULD NOT understand why a seemingly normal girl would act so crazy over something so little...so I asked him to explain. Seems, she called, and he didn't answer and when he finally did call back, much later, she was kinda freakin' out...wonderin' where he was, what he was doing, and if he was ok, and why he hadn't called sooner.
See, to him, she was not trusting him, jumping to conclusions, overreacting, and just in general actin' all crazy like, but what I tried to tell him was: she was worried. We girls do that. If someone who ALWAYS has his phone on, and always answers, suddenly stops, well that means something is wrong. It goes something like this in our heads:
immediately after call: "Huh, guess he is busy...or maybe in the shower, no problem."
ten minutes later: "Wonder why he hasn't called...that's weird."
twenty minutes later: "Ok, WTF...he should be off the phone, out of the shower or where he can talk by now, why hasn't he called?"
thirty minutes later: "Does he not want to talk to me...he knows I called, what if that's it, what if he looked at his phone, rolled his eyes, and put his phone back in his pocket...did I do something to piss him off?"
forty five minutes later: "Oh God, what if he is with another girl?"
one hour later: "Oh God, what if he has been in an accident and is hurt?"
One hour and one minute later: "Oh God, what if he is dead?! What if he WAS taking a shower and slipped and fell and cracked his head open and..."
Oh, there's the phone...
her: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!!!"
him: "What? I was at work...why are you getting all crazy?"
Seriously guys, we go there...and call it crazy or whatever you want to call it, but it isn't ALWAYS cuz we don't trust you, or worse, we are whacked...if we like you, especially if we REALLY, really like you; we worry about you, we worry a lot because we know you do stupid stuff (you ARE a guy) and we want you healthy and happy and in one piece...
...so you can answer your damn phone.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
me too smaht
I was out with Booya and JD last night, and, as usual, the conversation eventually made it's way to my love life (or lack there of) and we started discussing possible love connections for me...most of it was in fun and the names that were tossed out were silly, but we did talk, in particular, about one potential suitor. He happens to be very good looking, but not very bright. Considering I am average on both fronts, it could work in theory...if say, each attribute is rated on a number scale and averaged together. He is a 10 and a 2, I am a 6 and a 6...perfect! I told the boys, however, that I just didn't see it working out.
Well, in a recent article on The Frisky titled 10 Reasons Smart People Have A Hard Time Dating, Simcha talks about a new book that addresses the "hardship" smaht folk a' havin' in gettin' them some nookie...
The smarter you are, the harder it is for you to get laid. Well, that’s what Dr. Alex Benzer, a Harvard man thinks. The Ivy League snob believes his fellow private college geniuses (yes, he even listed specific schools that qualify) suffer under the weight of their giant brains.
She scoffs at some of his reasoning and instead suggests that perhaps it is the overgrown egos and ridiculous self absorption that prevents some of those Ivy Leaguers from finding mates, not the fact that when you are smarter than 99% of the population it is just too hard to find people to connect with.
It made me re-think my take on Prettyboy...was I just being a snob, thinking myself smarter? I mean, hell, for every level of intelligence there is another level above it, and no matter how smart you think you are, you are bound to end up doing stupid things. (I write this, paranoid I will make huge mistakes in spelling or grammar, and everyone reading will think "Oh sweetie, you are a 2 too, it's ok...give him a chance!")
Perhaps, finding someone you are compatible with on all levels (physical, intellectual, emotional) is tough, REGARDLESS of how smart or attractive one is, 99% of the population probably won't fit. Something to ponder I suppose...of course, since I didn't attend an Ivy League school and my capacity to think about this subject rationally and intelligently is limited; my conclusions will most likely be flawed and inconclusive...
Well, in a recent article on The Frisky titled 10 Reasons Smart People Have A Hard Time Dating, Simcha talks about a new book that addresses the "hardship" smaht folk a' havin' in gettin' them some nookie...
The smarter you are, the harder it is for you to get laid. Well, that’s what Dr. Alex Benzer, a Harvard man thinks. The Ivy League snob believes his fellow private college geniuses (yes, he even listed specific schools that qualify) suffer under the weight of their giant brains.
She scoffs at some of his reasoning and instead suggests that perhaps it is the overgrown egos and ridiculous self absorption that prevents some of those Ivy Leaguers from finding mates, not the fact that when you are smarter than 99% of the population it is just too hard to find people to connect with.
It made me re-think my take on Prettyboy...was I just being a snob, thinking myself smarter? I mean, hell, for every level of intelligence there is another level above it, and no matter how smart you think you are, you are bound to end up doing stupid things. (I write this, paranoid I will make huge mistakes in spelling or grammar, and everyone reading will think "Oh sweetie, you are a 2 too, it's ok...give him a chance!")
Perhaps, finding someone you are compatible with on all levels (physical, intellectual, emotional) is tough, REGARDLESS of how smart or attractive one is, 99% of the population probably won't fit. Something to ponder I suppose...of course, since I didn't attend an Ivy League school and my capacity to think about this subject rationally and intelligently is limited; my conclusions will most likely be flawed and inconclusive...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
lost time
Wow, so it is Sunday already and already it is late, and I have done none of my usual chores; laundry, cleaning, packing etc...I didn't even realize it was daylight savings until about 9 (8am). The Pea came into my room this morning, crawled into bed with me (awwww), and I looked at my watch, 7am...right on time. We take our time getting up and ready and I grab my phone off the charger and take a look at it, it is 8:50...WTF? What happened, how did two hours go by? I go out to the kitchen and the clock on the stove says 7:50...OHHHHHHH, duh. I was pissed, and then I had to scramble cuz I wanted to go get coffee and I also wanted to get a bunch of stuff done before heading to the beach with Gigi and Buddy (her baby boy)...well...I got the coffee.
So, we made it to the beach, almost on time, but I got nothing done before hand...I should be doing it now, but oh well. So yes, beach today, FINALLY...a nice warm day, only about 30 minutes after we arrived and settled in, which was a little bit of a fiasco cuz it was so crowded, the wind shifted and it got COLD, sad...the temp was in the 70s, but it felt waaaaay cooler.
Today was one of those really good mommy days...not only did I have fun with the Pea, but I managed to get her bathed and to bed without any fuss and she really enjoyed reading and cuddling tonight...despite wishing EVERY night was this great, these are the nights that make me HATE the fact that I don't have her every night. I am already dreading dropping her off at school tomorrow and not seeing her again until Tuesday evening...I feel like she is already growing up too fast and slipping away from me, and it doesn't help I am having baby greed.
Baby greed is when you want one really bad, but know you can't have one and every pregnant belly you see you either want to rub, or run from, depending on the day, and every newborn you see (or really any baby younger than the Pea) makes you teary...yeah, I am there. I know it is fairly normal, and I have had it for awhile, but it got ramped into high gear at Christmas while I was holding one of Smash's friends' babies and then even more as Gigi has progressed through her pregnancy. I thought, by living vicariously through her, I would be satisfied...somehow hearing her talk of all the horrors of pregnancy would make me remember and "be cured" of the greed. Today though, she said something about one thing in particular and instead of the hoped for response in my head of "oh, thank god that's not me, been there, done that" I was jealous...jealous of weight gain and exhaustion and well all the other stuff we don't need to go into. The crazy thing is, while I LOVED growing the Pea inside of me, and having her, I didn't exactly LOVE being pregnant...I wasn't "one of those" that breezed through glowing and happy. I was tired and lonely and scared to death (huh? kinda like now).
I guess just one more thing to tackle...try not to think too hard about, and move on from...and despite all my whining, I must say, overall, a good day...if I could just get that damn hour back to do laundry...
So, we made it to the beach, almost on time, but I got nothing done before hand...I should be doing it now, but oh well. So yes, beach today, FINALLY...a nice warm day, only about 30 minutes after we arrived and settled in, which was a little bit of a fiasco cuz it was so crowded, the wind shifted and it got COLD, sad...the temp was in the 70s, but it felt waaaaay cooler.
Today was one of those really good mommy days...not only did I have fun with the Pea, but I managed to get her bathed and to bed without any fuss and she really enjoyed reading and cuddling tonight...despite wishing EVERY night was this great, these are the nights that make me HATE the fact that I don't have her every night. I am already dreading dropping her off at school tomorrow and not seeing her again until Tuesday evening...I feel like she is already growing up too fast and slipping away from me, and it doesn't help I am having baby greed.
Baby greed is when you want one really bad, but know you can't have one and every pregnant belly you see you either want to rub, or run from, depending on the day, and every newborn you see (or really any baby younger than the Pea) makes you teary...yeah, I am there. I know it is fairly normal, and I have had it for awhile, but it got ramped into high gear at Christmas while I was holding one of Smash's friends' babies and then even more as Gigi has progressed through her pregnancy. I thought, by living vicariously through her, I would be satisfied...somehow hearing her talk of all the horrors of pregnancy would make me remember and "be cured" of the greed. Today though, she said something about one thing in particular and instead of the hoped for response in my head of "oh, thank god that's not me, been there, done that" I was jealous...jealous of weight gain and exhaustion and well all the other stuff we don't need to go into. The crazy thing is, while I LOVED growing the Pea inside of me, and having her, I didn't exactly LOVE being pregnant...I wasn't "one of those" that breezed through glowing and happy. I was tired and lonely and scared to death (huh? kinda like now).
I guess just one more thing to tackle...try not to think too hard about, and move on from...and despite all my whining, I must say, overall, a good day...if I could just get that damn hour back to do laundry...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Match.WTF, again...
I'm at home, watching The Colbert Report and playing online, it has been a long day, I am wicked tired, and because of the crazy week I have to work tomorrow...as a result, I don't have the energy for a new, exciting, creative, or even slightly witty post (sorry). Well, a commercial for Match.com just came on and I remembered one of my old posts, so I thought i would just re-run an excerpt...
from Match.WTF?
...in talking about the whole dating thing I mentioned I went to Match.com, and I hate to admit that I even went there to myself, but I got an email, there was a link, next thing I knew I had 3 "perfect matches!" Well I have since canceled my "membership" which is a misnomer, because to actually have a membership and create a profile you have to pay, which I didn't, but to sign in initially you set up a screen name, give 'em your birth date (!), start checkin' boxes and build your perfect man. Of course the idea is that they serve up a bunch of irresistible men, you get all excited and want to contact these men and in order to do so - bam! back to the membership page...no no, first you must have a membership, give us your credit card, blah blah blah.
Ok, so I check all the boxes, put in all my parameters, the things I think I want in a man...I won't go into all of them, but bottom line there are 3 men in the state who supposedly fit. THREE! that's it...anyway, none of them get me excited enough to follow up and buy a membership so I log off, thinking I have seen the last of Match.com. OH NO...the NEXT DAY I get an email...
"we have 6 perfect matches for you - and here they are!"
Here is where I will list a few of my parameters cuz now it becomes important to the story...
age: 30-50
height: 5'10" - 6'3"
wants/has children: yes
other: spiritual but NOT religious.
Ok, keep in mind the ONLY info they have on me is: female, age 34.
The six guys they send:
1) short guy, in his profile he's 5'7" which means he is prob 5'5"
2) young guy, 27 years old
3) younger guy, 25 years old
4) religious guy, VERY religious christian seeking same
5) hates kids guy, has none, wants none
6) perfect guy, seeking woman (girl) 22-27
WTF?! On what planet do any of these guys fit? Are they serious? The next day I got another email, much the same, 6 more guys, and this time ALL of them want a woman in her twenties...HELLO...not only am I not going to get excited about that and go running to the website to buy a membership but now I'm PISSED...is every guy out there looking for a girl in her twenties!?
UGH...so long story longer, at the bottom of the email there is in teeny tiny letters a link if you wish to unsubscribe to these emails. I click on the link and for F*CKS SAKE, you would think I was trying to sell my kid. I had to go through all kinds of steps and 4 times, 4!!!! they asked if I was sure I wanted to unsubscribe...yes I'm sure assholes and STOP asking.
Alright, so here is where I say (so they don't sue me or something), that for some folks the website is fantastic...I know a few couples who met online and are happy as can be...blah, blah, blah...I for one however, will not be going back anytime soon.
And I haven't...yet.
from Match.WTF?
...in talking about the whole dating thing I mentioned I went to Match.com, and I hate to admit that I even went there to myself, but I got an email, there was a link, next thing I knew I had 3 "perfect matches!" Well I have since canceled my "membership" which is a misnomer, because to actually have a membership and create a profile you have to pay, which I didn't, but to sign in initially you set up a screen name, give 'em your birth date (!), start checkin' boxes and build your perfect man. Of course the idea is that they serve up a bunch of irresistible men, you get all excited and want to contact these men and in order to do so - bam! back to the membership page...no no, first you must have a membership, give us your credit card, blah blah blah.
Ok, so I check all the boxes, put in all my parameters, the things I think I want in a man...I won't go into all of them, but bottom line there are 3 men in the state who supposedly fit. THREE! that's it...anyway, none of them get me excited enough to follow up and buy a membership so I log off, thinking I have seen the last of Match.com. OH NO...the NEXT DAY I get an email...
"we have 6 perfect matches for you - and here they are!"
Here is where I will list a few of my parameters cuz now it becomes important to the story...
age: 30-50
height: 5'10" - 6'3"
wants/has children: yes
other: spiritual but NOT religious.
Ok, keep in mind the ONLY info they have on me is: female, age 34.
The six guys they send:
1) short guy, in his profile he's 5'7" which means he is prob 5'5"
2) young guy, 27 years old
3) younger guy, 25 years old
4) religious guy, VERY religious christian seeking same
5) hates kids guy, has none, wants none
6) perfect guy, seeking woman (girl) 22-27
WTF?! On what planet do any of these guys fit? Are they serious? The next day I got another email, much the same, 6 more guys, and this time ALL of them want a woman in her twenties...HELLO...not only am I not going to get excited about that and go running to the website to buy a membership but now I'm PISSED...is every guy out there looking for a girl in her twenties!?
UGH...so long story longer, at the bottom of the email there is in teeny tiny letters a link if you wish to unsubscribe to these emails. I click on the link and for F*CKS SAKE, you would think I was trying to sell my kid. I had to go through all kinds of steps and 4 times, 4!!!! they asked if I was sure I wanted to unsubscribe...yes I'm sure assholes and STOP asking.
Alright, so here is where I say (so they don't sue me or something), that for some folks the website is fantastic...I know a few couples who met online and are happy as can be...blah, blah, blah...I for one however, will not be going back anytime soon.
And I haven't...yet.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
does it light up?
At home with a sick Pea...she is getting better and will probably be able to head back to school tomorrow, but today she was still under the weather, and DH needed to be relieved of sick kid duty so I came home from work early to take over. Sick kid duty is never fun, and while I missed her and wished I could have been here to help her feel better, I am kinda glad he had to deal with it...is that terrible?
So when I got home I had a lovely surprise in my mailbox...the picture books I ordered are already here. The Pea was ecstatic...I have already read each one 3 times and anticipate more tonight at bedtime. I am pleased with how they turned out, and since I probably will NEVER get around to doing her baby book or a scrapbook of any kind, it makes me feel good to have these...they are the kind of thing a "perfect mommy" would do (in addition to the baby and scrap books, the videos, the professional portraits etc.) and since it feels like I am lagging waaaay behind those "perfect mommies" these days, I can at least bask in the glory of this one little accomplishment for awhile.
Smash finally got home, safe and sound. I miss her already, but I am glad for her cuz she was pretty stressed. When she called to say she was pulling in her driveway I could tell she was happy and relieved to be there...she missed all her boys and was ready to get back to her life. While she was here I did have the opportunity to introduce her to Bob, though. She hadn't seen him, and I was interested to get her opinion, so I yanked him out of his cozy little corner of my closet, out of the gift bag in which he resides and presented him for her appraisal.
Ya know how when you have a crush on a guy, and you are at that happy flirty stage, and you want to get your girls opinion? It suddenly becomes very important, before going to the next stage, to see what she thinks. You want to make sure you aren't crazy, that he is not Quasimodo and because of your desperation and rose colored glasses you are overlooking major flaws in his makeup, so you "present him" to her, often orchestrating a casual run in somewhere where you know he might be, and after he is gone, you dish. WELLLLL, this wasn't exactly a casual run in, it's not like Bob does coffee, and I wouldn't exactly call what we have a crush, but I am intrigued, and desperate, and I needed her opinion, so I "presented" him.
After she got done laughing, she started with the questions...
Smash: "What is THAT for?"
me: "I have no idea."
Smash: "Do you put that, uh...hmmm, yeah...and what is this goin' on over here?"
me: "Again, no idea."
Smash: "Yeah, you were right, it is pretty big, lemme see again..."
"Ok, yeah, that is pretty f*cking big, you don't need all that."
me: "No, I'm thinking no."
Smash: "Does it light up?"
Yeah, Bob is purple, a translucent, purple, plastic polymer of some sort, and it wouldn't surprise me...like a big, happy, fun, light stick...imagine holdin' that up at a concert...anyway...she suggested that I invest in a new shower head. I am thinkin' that if the Pea gets to feelin' better, we just might have to make a quick trip to Home Depot tonight.
So when I got home I had a lovely surprise in my mailbox...the picture books I ordered are already here. The Pea was ecstatic...I have already read each one 3 times and anticipate more tonight at bedtime. I am pleased with how they turned out, and since I probably will NEVER get around to doing her baby book or a scrapbook of any kind, it makes me feel good to have these...they are the kind of thing a "perfect mommy" would do (in addition to the baby and scrap books, the videos, the professional portraits etc.) and since it feels like I am lagging waaaay behind those "perfect mommies" these days, I can at least bask in the glory of this one little accomplishment for awhile.
Smash finally got home, safe and sound. I miss her already, but I am glad for her cuz she was pretty stressed. When she called to say she was pulling in her driveway I could tell she was happy and relieved to be there...she missed all her boys and was ready to get back to her life. While she was here I did have the opportunity to introduce her to Bob, though. She hadn't seen him, and I was interested to get her opinion, so I yanked him out of his cozy little corner of my closet, out of the gift bag in which he resides and presented him for her appraisal.
Ya know how when you have a crush on a guy, and you are at that happy flirty stage, and you want to get your girls opinion? It suddenly becomes very important, before going to the next stage, to see what she thinks. You want to make sure you aren't crazy, that he is not Quasimodo and because of your desperation and rose colored glasses you are overlooking major flaws in his makeup, so you "present him" to her, often orchestrating a casual run in somewhere where you know he might be, and after he is gone, you dish. WELLLLL, this wasn't exactly a casual run in, it's not like Bob does coffee, and I wouldn't exactly call what we have a crush, but I am intrigued, and desperate, and I needed her opinion, so I "presented" him.
After she got done laughing, she started with the questions...
Smash: "What is THAT for?"
me: "I have no idea."
Smash: "Do you put that, uh...hmmm, yeah...and what is this goin' on over here?"
me: "Again, no idea."
Smash: "Yeah, you were right, it is pretty big, lemme see again..."
"Ok, yeah, that is pretty f*cking big, you don't need all that."
me: "No, I'm thinking no."
Smash: "Does it light up?"
Yeah, Bob is purple, a translucent, purple, plastic polymer of some sort, and it wouldn't surprise me...like a big, happy, fun, light stick...imagine holdin' that up at a concert...anyway...she suggested that I invest in a new shower head. I am thinkin' that if the Pea gets to feelin' better, we just might have to make a quick trip to Home Depot tonight.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
chaos
Wow...so talk about a crazy morning...I am just now getting a chance to take a break, breathe, write. Ok, so...Smash was supposed to fly out Sunday, cancelled...then all flights for Monday either cancelled or booked up, so she got a flight out for this morning. I live about ten minutes from the airport, the plan was I would drop her at 5am, and be to work by 7...get back to my regular schedule...yeah, not so much. Her flight cancelled...of course, and as far as we could tell because no one who could help us could speak very good English (man that is frustrating!) her first chance out was tomorrow. She HAS to work tonight, and already, with the delay, her schedule was all screwed up, so major panic. I ended up driving her to another airport two hours away (cuz flights out of there were no problem - go figure) and then another hour to work...last I heard she was boarding a plane and heading home...whew. Meanwhile, I was an hour late to work and as I pull in DH calls...Pea is STILL sick, now worse, and he is on his way to the doctor...turns out she has an eye infection, an ear infection, and mild bronchitis. Yikes...
On another note...before all the chaos started, Smash and I managed to have a really nice night. DH came and picked up the Pea at 5pm, and we set out for a couple of beers and a movie. We went and saw He's Just Not That Into You...it was fun. I had read a review on it so, despite my earlier assumption, knew it wouldn't be laugh out loud. There were a few funny scenes, not slapstick funny ha ha, but rather, OMG that has soooo happened to me, or I have been there, wow. Not too bad for the guys either...if your woman wants to go, go...it won't be as bad as you think. Plus, everyone in it is pretty and it is always nice to look at pretty people.
Ah jeez...just when I thought things were calming down...gotta run...
On another note...before all the chaos started, Smash and I managed to have a really nice night. DH came and picked up the Pea at 5pm, and we set out for a couple of beers and a movie. We went and saw He's Just Not That Into You...it was fun. I had read a review on it so, despite my earlier assumption, knew it wouldn't be laugh out loud. There were a few funny scenes, not slapstick funny ha ha, but rather, OMG that has soooo happened to me, or I have been there, wow. Not too bad for the guys either...if your woman wants to go, go...it won't be as bad as you think. Plus, everyone in it is pretty and it is always nice to look at pretty people.
Ah jeez...just when I thought things were calming down...gotta run...
Monday, March 2, 2009
friends?
Well no snow here, but DO have a sick Pea...fun and games...not bad sick mind you, just too sick to go to school...so the house is getting destroyed as I write, and I am feeling guilty about not being at work...Smash is not feeling great either, tired and worn out. Plus, she is scrambling to get work, and her boys, covered while she is here...we are not a happy group of girls. I suppose we should just be happy we are getting to spend more time together, and on one hand we are, of course, but in thinking about the catch up that will be required later...eeek.
So, I am on the computer, trying to form a cohesive thought so I can write a post that you might actually enjoy reading, and a few messages have popped up on Facebook. I can't look at Facebook during the day if I am at work, so this is different for me...usually I catch up in the evenings. I am still unsure how I feel about the whole deal. There is no doubt I am hooked, I check it often, although I don't have a crackberry so not as often as some, and yet I am still a little scared of the whole thing. It has allowed me to reconnect with people I never thought I would see or hear from again, which has been nice, but it also allowes other people into my life that I never really had a connection with to start. I have "friends" on Facebook that were NEVER friends in life...just because we went to the same high school, does that make a connection? I think not, and yet with every new friend request I click confirm.
It is a strange dichotomy...I want to be "one of the cool kids" and have lots of friends, but then again, I don't. I see people with hundreds of friends and am just a little jealous and I wonder; are they somehow cooler or better than me? Yet, every time I confirm someone that I have to go back to my yearbooks to remember I think; why am I doing this? The whole reason to get on there was to reconnect with the people I grew up with...the ones who knew me awkward, and ugly, and wild...people who I have memories with, who want to know me now and I want to know. There are probably only about twenty people that I actually communicate with and check in with, another twenty or so that I don't necessarily communicate with regularly but enjoy knowing how their life is and love to see what they are doing, and the rest? Well I am not about to delete them as a friend, but really with the exception of a funny status update now again...I dunno, is it too ugly to say I couldn't care less? Yikes, that sounds mean.
In addition to the whole reconnecting deal is the forming of new connections...which never occurred to me when I started the whole thing. Now, if you meet someone out (say a potential suitor) you can check them out on Facebook...you can find out all kinds things about them...it is a little unsettling. Do I really want a guy to see my Christmas pictures, or pictures of my kid? Why did I post those? Yet, what is the first thing I do when I go to someone's page? Look at their pictures...and if they don't have any, or only have a few...I am bummed.
So what's a girl to do? Well right now gonna go check my messages and see if I have any new "friends."
So, I am on the computer, trying to form a cohesive thought so I can write a post that you might actually enjoy reading, and a few messages have popped up on Facebook. I can't look at Facebook during the day if I am at work, so this is different for me...usually I catch up in the evenings. I am still unsure how I feel about the whole deal. There is no doubt I am hooked, I check it often, although I don't have a crackberry so not as often as some, and yet I am still a little scared of the whole thing. It has allowed me to reconnect with people I never thought I would see or hear from again, which has been nice, but it also allowes other people into my life that I never really had a connection with to start. I have "friends" on Facebook that were NEVER friends in life...just because we went to the same high school, does that make a connection? I think not, and yet with every new friend request I click confirm.
It is a strange dichotomy...I want to be "one of the cool kids" and have lots of friends, but then again, I don't. I see people with hundreds of friends and am just a little jealous and I wonder; are they somehow cooler or better than me? Yet, every time I confirm someone that I have to go back to my yearbooks to remember I think; why am I doing this? The whole reason to get on there was to reconnect with the people I grew up with...the ones who knew me awkward, and ugly, and wild...people who I have memories with, who want to know me now and I want to know. There are probably only about twenty people that I actually communicate with and check in with, another twenty or so that I don't necessarily communicate with regularly but enjoy knowing how their life is and love to see what they are doing, and the rest? Well I am not about to delete them as a friend, but really with the exception of a funny status update now again...I dunno, is it too ugly to say I couldn't care less? Yikes, that sounds mean.
In addition to the whole reconnecting deal is the forming of new connections...which never occurred to me when I started the whole thing. Now, if you meet someone out (say a potential suitor) you can check them out on Facebook...you can find out all kinds things about them...it is a little unsettling. Do I really want a guy to see my Christmas pictures, or pictures of my kid? Why did I post those? Yet, what is the first thing I do when I go to someone's page? Look at their pictures...and if they don't have any, or only have a few...I am bummed.
So what's a girl to do? Well right now gonna go check my messages and see if I have any new "friends."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
snow
Apparently, all that is required for Boston to get record breaking amounts of snow, is for me or Smash to book a flight in or out...remember how I couldn't get home on New Years? Yeah, well Smash can't get home today...or tomorrow...oopsie. So NOW that she is stuck, I say, BRING IT MOTHER NATURE! Matter of fact, if ya wanna dump a foot or so of snow on NC that would be fine as well, cuz then I will be able to stay home from work tomorrow, guilt free, and hang with my sistah.
We are having a great visit...we have done NONE of the planned activities, but oh well...instead we are making all kinds of plans for the summer, gabbing, eating, acting silly...it is rather nice, despite the weather. Well since we haven't ventured out much, or done anything exciting, I don't have anything to write...
More tomorrow...in the meantime, if someone out there wants to get busy with a snow dance, knock yourself out.
We are having a great visit...we have done NONE of the planned activities, but oh well...instead we are making all kinds of plans for the summer, gabbing, eating, acting silly...it is rather nice, despite the weather. Well since we haven't ventured out much, or done anything exciting, I don't have anything to write...
More tomorrow...in the meantime, if someone out there wants to get busy with a snow dance, knock yourself out.
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