bummed

Just got off the phone with one of the golfer girls. She was very upset about her round of golf today. She went on for 20 minutes, telling me about all the bad shots, the miserable heat, etc. etc. and then said "ok, gotta go, talk to ya later." No "how are you, what are you doing," and if she had given me just one second to talk myself I probably would have said "well at least you got to play..." I don't think I realized how bummed about not playing I was until I got that call.

I have been working all year to get my handicap down to a respectable number, and while it isn't where I would like it to be, I would have been playing with the big girls in this particular tournament...which is what I have wanted to do since joining to club. I know it's just a game, and since I will never be good or make any money at it I should just suck it and get over myself, but I really miss it. I miss having something to do on Saturday mornings beside watch cartoons and hope the phone rings so I have some adult conversation. I miss the competition, I miss the exercise, I miss the drinks with the girls after. I think more than all that, I miss feeling like part of a community. The club was where I went to eat, drink, socialize, be active...it was where most of my friends were, and where I could always count on seeing a friendly face...

I guess I'm bummed about more than just golf.