freakin' out

Well, I'm kinda freakin' out...I am supposed to be packing and all I can manage is walking around the house, planning my move. I have yet to do anything constructive other than gather boxes, and plan. The actual splitting of stuff into his and hers, and trying to decide what of the Pea's will stay and what will go is overwhelming. Part of me wants to just leave and start fresh with all new stuff...highly impractical, and considering I have not won the lotto lately virtually impossible, but a thought nonetheless.

I'm tired, physically tired, I want to go take a nap right now, but I figured I would feel less guilty about writing than I would sleeping. I went to bed last night at 9:30 thinking I just needed to catch up on sleep since I haven't been getting any lately and even though I ended up getting a good solid 9 hours, I still feel tired. I hate feeling that way, I want to be full of energy and motivated and excited...kinda hard to be excited about dissolving a 10 year marriage.

Gigi is out of town this weekend, Smash and J are home now...I'm on my own, and while on one hand that's good, because it will force me to work, on the other it's a little unnerving. Even if they couldn't come help or do anything with me, just knowing they were in town and available would be a comfort.

Tomorrow I have to meet DH at the other house, check it out, see if anything needs to be done before I move in. I suspect once I do that, reality will really set in...I hope once I leave there, I will be motivated and energized and I will be able to get busy. I guess I just need to take a couple deep breaths, stop freakin' out, cut myself some slack...it took 13 years to get to this place, it will take more than one weekend to get someplace else.