hazards of being single

The Pea is in bed, Gigi is with family that has come into town to visit, and Smash is working...this is when being single is hard. It's not that I need a man, I would just like to talk to a fellow adult. I have had enough Dora and Diego for one day, and I would love to sit down with someone above the age of 30 and have a glass of wine. Usually on Wednesday nights I meet Gigi for dinner, but tonight she had to cancel, so I'm home, watching bad TV and playing on the computer. Thing is, I like being by myself...I don't mind being alone, watching a movie, or reading or just hanging out, I just don't like it ALL the time.

This single thing carries with it other hazards besides being alone, like having to deal with snakes and spiders all by yourownself...last night I had a snake on my deck. Don't know if it was poisonous or not, don't much care...but there I was at 11o'clock and all I could do was cuss the little bastard out. When I went outside with the dog to get her some water, I reached down to turn on the water and ended up in a deck chair. It all happened pretty fast, so I don't remember exactly how it went down, but the snake reared up, opened it's mouth and hissed at me, I did a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon spinning leap, and then out of my mouth came every cuss word I know, as well as a few I didn't think I knew. On top of that, my first instinct after doing another spinning, jump move to get back in the house was not to just get a shovel or other killing instrument and kill the damn thing myself...NOOOOO, instead I wanted to call every man in my contact list and tell them to get the hell over here and kill the g-damn thing for me! I guess I'm not the big bad independent girl I thought I was...damnit.

It's not just snakes and spiders I now have to deal with, now I have to navigate the treacherous dating waters...as a married girl I had an enormous amount of moxie and with nothing on the line didn't worry how I was perceived by "the single guy." If he was hot, I could revel in the fact that he thought I was too and go through the rest of the day on a little high that I still had it...if he wasn't I could just flash my left hand, smile and walk away. Now I have to...what? Now if I like him I want to keep talking, but then of course I risk rejection and embarrassment and holy hell...I am fresh out of moxie. Tonight at the gym a guy opened with, "how many gigs on your ipod?" my witty reply? "Beats the hell out of me." What?! What the hell was that, I should have smiled, said something nice, introduced myself...he was nice enough, good looking, tall, late 30's early 40's...I was definitely flattered, especially since I was without makeup, hair up, and sweaty, but now what? Next time I see him do I say hi? Duck and run?

Oh boy...