Went to see The Hangover, again, last night...wow, Bradley Cooper me likey...yumm yumm *shudder* hmmmm...sorry...what was I saying?
Ok, so me like the Coop, and apparently younger (than me) men in general these days. I hadn't really realized my new "type" until Smash pointed it out to me while she was here. She said it was obvious to her, based on my new crushes (both celebrity and real life) and the men who turned my head while we were out and about. Huh, interesting...I have ALWAYS liked older guys, way older, DH is 19 years older...my previous crushes (Clooney etc.) were in their 40s...not sure why the sudden shift, but who the hell cares, right? Well, according to a recent article in The New York Observer titled The New Male Beauty, I am just following a trend. In the article, "new research" has shown that the modern woman is no longer attracted to "manly-men" and instead prefers "girly-men" a.k.a. boys.
"But according to Leonard Lee, a Columbia University professor who has written about physical attractiveness, recent research has indicated that women are now finding common features of the New Male Face—like big smiles, smaller chins and a wider distance between the two eyes—more compelling...In other words, perhaps in parallel to their own filler frenzy (see Jonathan Van Meter’s 2008 cover story on the New New Face in New York magazine), women have literally become attracted to men who look like babies. Is this what feminism has wrought?"
OH NO...NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...yuck, yucky, yuck, yuck, and an informal poll of the girls I work with revealed we DO NOT want a girly man. No siree (oh and JD, despite me calling you that from time to time, don't worry, I know you aren't, I just like to tease). NO, in fact, we want a hairy chested, wide shouldered, strong jawed, MAN. We want a guy who can pick us up and put us on the kitchen counter (or dresser, or up against a wall, or...ok, stopping now), who doesn't spend more time on his hair than we do, who DOES NOT, for GOD'S SAKE, wear skinny jeans. We don't want to outweigh, or be outspent on personal grooming by, our guys.
I thought it was interesting that the article basically said that because of the new crop of leading men (Zac Ephron etc.) it was obvious we ladies liked the pretty boys. Yeah, sorry, no...I think if anything it proves the movie studios are catering to the under 18 girly girls and 12-30 gay boy set. Every woman over 30, that I know, thinks Ephron would snap in half if we got our hands on him, and so therefore, would not be a good lay. Plus, he probably wouldn't want to get his hair messed up...ech.
Anyhoo...I just found it interesting that my dear sister pointed out my changing preference right about the time this article came out, and I wondered if I was just following the crowd. I usually am not one to hop on the trend bandwagon. Then again, if Bradley Cooper is a trend, I would be happy to hop on him.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
sunday
Good day today...Pea and I had lots of quality time...spent the afternoon at the pool with Gigi and Buddy...booked the hotel for Charleston. Of course I should have known my good mood would get smashed. DH and I are having to "settle up" and as a result I may need to sell my house. I have been considering moving, but not right now, and I certainly don't want to deal with all that having your house on the market entails, but he called tonight and I don't know if I can put it off any longer. The "marital" house has been on the market quite awhile now and I have been struggling to deal with that. I should probably be thankful that at one time I was fortunate enough to own two houses, but all I can think about is that pretty soon I will own nothing, and I am too old to be a nomad.
Spring break has definitely come to a close.
On an up note: two new additions to "my circle." They aren't really new, or new to the blog, I have just been taking my time with the nicknames...welcome Funnyman and DrCox...you are both so great at building me up and making me laugh, thanks for allowing me to drag you into my world...I can't wait to buy you both a beer.
Ok, that's all I got for tonight...it is late and I still have much to do.
Spring break has definitely come to a close.
On an up note: two new additions to "my circle." They aren't really new, or new to the blog, I have just been taking my time with the nicknames...welcome Funnyman and DrCox...you are both so great at building me up and making me laugh, thanks for allowing me to drag you into my world...I can't wait to buy you both a beer.
Ok, that's all I got for tonight...it is late and I still have much to do.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
still seeking...
So last night I found myself on Travelocity checking into flights to Nigeria...Nigeria? WTF? And no, I wasn't drunk. See, one of the guys I went to high school with lives there now, and fairly recently updated his Facebook status with "visitors welcome." I am sure it was somewhat tongue in cheek, but then again, if I were living there I would want visitors too. We were hoping to get together last time he was in the states and plans fell through and last night in my antsyness, next thing I knew I was debating whether or not to fly through Amsterdam or Rome and wondering if I could manage to spend a day or two in Europe...I have lost my mind. Not only could I NEVER afford this trip, what would I do with the Pea? DH is usually pretty good about taking her, but I suspect running off to Africa, just because, he would draw the line at. The thing is, for a few minutes I REALLY was trying to figure out a way to make it work...I have my passport, I have all the shots, I could put it on a credit card...I wanted to be able to experience something I never have, meet new people, and test myself...well, then Booya called and we decided we would go to Charleston...4th of July road trip...we are gonna chuck the Pea in the car (and by chuck I mean place gently in an approved safety seat with a five point harness), head south, and hope for adventure...
Eh, Abuja, Charleston...same difference right? I also have a friend in Hawaii...why wasn't I looking at flights to HAWAII?!
Eh, Abuja, Charleston...same difference right? I also have a friend in Hawaii...why wasn't I looking at flights to HAWAII?!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
swf seeks adventure
One of my boys, Grey, is headed out of town on an "adventure" and is the usual custom whenever one of the guys will be gone for awhile, we took him out last night for dinner and a few brews. Well, turns out silly me had locked her keys in her car and couldn't leave, so Grey hung out with me while we waited for the locksmith. We sat in the parking lot, on the tailgate of his truck, talking about his upcoming trip, travel in general, and life. Not only do most of the people I work with travel on a regular basis, but so do most all my other friends. One of my girlfriends is gone more than she is home, another gets to go off on occasion, and it seems almost daily one of my acquaintances is updating their Facebook status with an "I'm off to..." I am jealous. I miss seeing new places, new faces, and experiencing new things. Last night, once I finally got into my car and was able to head home, my mind was racing.
I was up most of the night, tossing and turning and thinking...today I am antsy. I don't want to run away, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life tied to a desk either. There are so many places I want to see, things I want to experience, foods I want to try. I read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert last year, and for those who haven't heard of it, or read it, is about her search for herself, and love, after the breakup of her marriage. Gilbert goes to Italy, India, and Indonesia and writes about the food, her experiences, her struggles, and her lovers...I want to be her. Well, ok not really, cuz I kinda like myself now, but you know what I mean, right? To be able to travel the world... seeing, feeling, tasting, loving, and then writing about it...wow. I don't see any way to ACTUALLY do it, as toting along a 3 year old would be somewhat problematic, but I still WANT to, and for the last 12 hours or so I have thought a lot about what I want my life to be like in the future. I guess my spring break is coming to a close...it's funny how something random (and slightly annoying) like locking your keys in your car can end up being a "moment" in your life. As we talked last night about where we saw ourselves a few years down the road, I had to stop and think about it...I have been so focused on just getting by and getting through each day, I haven't thought much about it lately. This past year has been so much about surviving and healing and working on making myself the best me I can be that I have chosen NOT to think about some of my future dreams. I have made a conscious effort to NOT plan, since all my "life" plans blew up in my face, but NOW, now I think it is time. I still want to be able to enjoy my moments while I am in them, and not dwell too much on what the future will bring, or think about how my past has been less than ideal, but if I just keep doing what I have been doing, I will just end up staying right where I am.
I am ready to shake things up a bit...any suggestions?
I was up most of the night, tossing and turning and thinking...today I am antsy. I don't want to run away, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life tied to a desk either. There are so many places I want to see, things I want to experience, foods I want to try. I read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert last year, and for those who haven't heard of it, or read it, is about her search for herself, and love, after the breakup of her marriage. Gilbert goes to Italy, India, and Indonesia and writes about the food, her experiences, her struggles, and her lovers...I want to be her. Well, ok not really, cuz I kinda like myself now, but you know what I mean, right? To be able to travel the world... seeing, feeling, tasting, loving, and then writing about it...wow. I don't see any way to ACTUALLY do it, as toting along a 3 year old would be somewhat problematic, but I still WANT to, and for the last 12 hours or so I have thought a lot about what I want my life to be like in the future. I guess my spring break is coming to a close...it's funny how something random (and slightly annoying) like locking your keys in your car can end up being a "moment" in your life. As we talked last night about where we saw ourselves a few years down the road, I had to stop and think about it...I have been so focused on just getting by and getting through each day, I haven't thought much about it lately. This past year has been so much about surviving and healing and working on making myself the best me I can be that I have chosen NOT to think about some of my future dreams. I have made a conscious effort to NOT plan, since all my "life" plans blew up in my face, but NOW, now I think it is time. I still want to be able to enjoy my moments while I am in them, and not dwell too much on what the future will bring, or think about how my past has been less than ideal, but if I just keep doing what I have been doing, I will just end up staying right where I am.
I am ready to shake things up a bit...any suggestions?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
happy belated father's day
When I was 8 yrs old, mom married dad...I was living with B at the time, but moved in with them shortly after. Dad chose to love me and raise me as if I were his "real" daughter. B chose to bow out of my life...I haven't seen him in 23 years. Dad is the guy who taught me to fish, took me hunting, hiking, and camping. Dad fed me, taught me to cook, made lunches for me to take to school. Dad bought me a car for my 17th birthday because the one I bought myself when I was 16 was a piece of shit and he was worried I would end up stranded on the side of the road going or coming to one of my jobs. Dad came to pick me up from my junior prom when I called in tears because my date turned out to be a douche. Dad came to my high school graduation and whooped it up, proudly telling everyone I was his daughter. Dad walked me down the aisle at both my weddings, and threatened to beat the hell out of my first husband when he found out he had beaten the hell out of me. Dad was there when I graduated from college and had my first art show...My point? Any dude with a few sperm can father a child...it takes a man to be a dad. A man chooses to take part, take responsibility, and show up.
J chose to step up on Saturday and as a result celebrated his first Father's Day on Sunday. He married my sister and chose to take on the responsibility of two young boys. Unlike my situation their father is still in the picture so they are lucky, they have two dads. Happy Belated Father's Day, to J and Dad, and to all the guys out there who chose to be dads after the fun part. It should be automatic, the fathering after the making, but it sometimes isn't, and when that happens and another man steps up and chooses to do the job, well that is pretty damn awesome.
For most all birthdays and holidays I get my dad a CD...usually it is something I am listening to that I love and want to share, sometimes it is one I just know he will love, and other times it is one that has a special meaning. This year I bought my dad Darius Rucker's Learn To Live...he is the guy from Hootie and the Blow Fish, remember him? Well he is now singing country and I LOVE the cd...I wanted Dad to have it and when I gave it to him I told him to pay special attention to #8, which happens to be It Won't Be Like This For Long...thought I would share, here ya go:
He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on‘
Cause it won't be like this for long
Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long
Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her‘
Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on‘
Cause it won’t be like this for long
It won’t be like this for long.
J chose to step up on Saturday and as a result celebrated his first Father's Day on Sunday. He married my sister and chose to take on the responsibility of two young boys. Unlike my situation their father is still in the picture so they are lucky, they have two dads. Happy Belated Father's Day, to J and Dad, and to all the guys out there who chose to be dads after the fun part. It should be automatic, the fathering after the making, but it sometimes isn't, and when that happens and another man steps up and chooses to do the job, well that is pretty damn awesome.
For most all birthdays and holidays I get my dad a CD...usually it is something I am listening to that I love and want to share, sometimes it is one I just know he will love, and other times it is one that has a special meaning. This year I bought my dad Darius Rucker's Learn To Live...he is the guy from Hootie and the Blow Fish, remember him? Well he is now singing country and I LOVE the cd...I wanted Dad to have it and when I gave it to him I told him to pay special attention to #8, which happens to be It Won't Be Like This For Long...thought I would share, here ya go:
He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on‘
Cause it won't be like this for long
Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long
Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her‘
Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows
It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on‘
Cause it won’t be like this for long
It won’t be like this for long.
Monday, June 22, 2009
good news
Good News!! The blog will continue...and I didn't even have to call my boss a *wink*...thanks for the call today, wish I had been able to answer...you are the bestest, you always make me laugh...I will have a post tomorrow, promise.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
sucks
Eeeek...so sorry I haven't written...things have been hectic. Don't have the time or energy for a well thought out post or funny story, but I will do some shit that doesn't suck, and unfortunately, something that does.
Hangin' at the beach, with all the people you love most in the world, in a fantastic house, with lots of food and booze: doesn't suck.
Enjoying Dunkin Donuts Coffee Coolatas with vodka while finalizing wedding plans: really doesn't suck...and makes wedding planning somewhat enjoyable. No, DD doesn't serve them that way (damnit) but they do come with a wicked convenient giant hole in the lid which makes for adding a shot (or three) quite easy. We discovered the joys of the Vodka Coolata (don't know if I am spelling that right, but whatever) after running a few wedding errands and were refueling with some coffee to try and make it through the rest of the day. One of our errands had been the ABC store...huh, giant bottles of vodka, convenient easy pour lid...why not? We are just too damn creative...fortunately that was our last stop and the rest of the night entailed only more booze and lots of food.
Watching your sister get married to the most amazing man, who loves and adores both her and her kids, as the waves crash in the background: didn't suck.
Getting an email from work that announces a new policy that may mean I have to shut down the blog: sucks. More on that later, maybe...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
holy !!!!
Just got back from the Sunday morning doughnut run and shopping...managed to get in and out of Walmart before 9am, so I never felt the need to kill anyone or rip my own head off...the Pea was perfect (which worries me a little) and now I am scrambling to get packed and ready before heading off to the airport to meet Smash, J, JJ and Boo. After that THE BEACH!!!! A week off work, with the family, in a beach house...STOKED!!!
...HOLY SHIT...Smash just called, she thought she was going to be arriving around noon (it is 9:30 now), which meant I had a few hours...she will be here in an hour...oopsie.
OK, well...guess that means I gotta go...don't know how much I will be writing over the next week, but I will be taking my computer so who knows.
...HOLY SHIT...Smash just called, she thought she was going to be arriving around noon (it is 9:30 now), which meant I had a few hours...she will be here in an hour...oopsie.
OK, well...guess that means I gotta go...don't know how much I will be writing over the next week, but I will be taking my computer so who knows.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
good shit
The Hangover - Movie Trailer 2009 - Watch the best video clips here
Sucks: A hangover
Doesn't Suck: the movie The Hangover
OMG...this movie is so good. I recommend a Mexican dinner with a few $1 Dos Equis drafts beforehand, but that's just because that is what Booya, Partyman, and I did. Regardless of when, or where, or whether or not you have had a few, this movie will make you laugh your ass off. I started before the opening credits and still haven't stopped. I keep remembering bits and lines and start all over again. Of course, if you aren't a fan of stupid boy humor like I am, you may not love it AS MUCH, but still...OH, and move over Clooney, I am so over you (sorry) Bradley Cooper is my new favorite man (besides Vince Vaughn, of course)...oh my. I hated his character in Wedding Crashers but thought he was cute, liked him in Failure to Launch, LOVED him in The Hangover he is LOVELY...the scene where he has his shirt off *shudder* I wanted to lick him...sigh, ok, moving on.
Went to see No Doubt in concert this week. Didn't suck. They put on a hell of a show...I knew it would be fun and was looking forward to seeing both them and Paramour but had no idea it would be such a good show...they really did a great job and Gwen Stefani...holy guacamole, she is ripped...her abs are sick. She was terrific and full of energy...the tour is pretty much nonstop all summer and if you get a chance I would recommend catching them. http://www.nodoubt.com/
So far this spring break thing: doesn't suck.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
10 things
Smash and J are getting married in less than two weeks...it is wedding (crazy) central over at The Frisky...Booya and Georgie are knee deep in the planning and the invites are scheduled to go out soon. Given that my marriage is nearing an early demise, I can't help cringe a little at all the wedding talk. Don't get me wrong, I am not jaded or bitter, I don't think marriage should be abolished, I still believe it can work, and when it does it is awesome, but for cryin' out loud people: it ain't about the wedding!!! The wedding is ONE day...ONE, in a (hopefully) lifetime of days.
Smash and J are doing it right (in my opinion)...on the beach, with no fanfare, with only the few people that will be impacted in some way by the marriage (them, parents, children, me-ok, I'm really not impacted I just want to be there cuz I love them both, and someone has to wrangle the kids) and then BBQ. Nothin' wrong with a big fancy wedding if you can afford it, and I "get" the concept of sharing with all your friends and family, but far too often I see brides (cuz face it, very rarely is it a groom that gets pissed becuz the linens are cream not ecru) get so wrapped up in what's NOT important, that they forget what IS.
I was guilty of this myself, and despite KNOWING in my gut I didn't want to get married I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the wedding and all it entailed. In my case, doing all the planning myself and micromanaging every detail allowed me to get lost in wedding happy land and stomp down my true feelings when what I should have done is taken a step back, and thought about what would come after the big day...I wonder: if the whole wedding industry suddenly went away and it wasn't "cool" to have a wedding, the concept of an engagement ring didn't exist, married tax breaks went away, and the only way to tell a married someone from an unmarried someone was by a plain gold band and their level of commitment to their spouse, if less people would enter into it, and if those that did would have a better than 50% chance of making it? Something to ponder...
In light of all this I thought I would re-run part of an old post..it was one I ran back when Smash and J were starting to consider marriage and whether or not being together forever was something they both wanted. I thought it was worth re-running because I have been reading wedding lists all week and thought a better list would be one about the relationship instead...
mr/mrs right?
1. You absolutely know he/she wants you as much as you want them. If it's right, your feelings of love are reciprocal and mutual and not one-sided.
2. He/she walks into a room, and you just have to smile. You can't help it! And when you look at him/her, he/she's smiling at you.
3. You do kind and sweet things for each other just because you want to and not because you feel you have to. Doing them makes you both feel good -- and special.
4. You are very secure in the relationship. There is no need for jealousy or suspicion. This is a drama-free zone. No one plays games or secretly tests the other.
5. He/she likes you for who you are and doesn't want to change you. Not only does he/she not make you feel bad about yourself, but also he boosts your self-esteem.
6. Life isn't perfect. You've had your ups and downs, but through it all, you have remained together with the relationship unshaken.
7. He/she has good friends, and you like who they are when they spend time with them.
8. He/she does not try to have power over you. There are absolutely no mind games or power plays in the relationship.
9. He/she doesn't pressure you to do things you don't want to do.
10. The religious and personal beliefs, life goals and interests that make you different don't push you apart.
...this list is not the end all, that's for sure, but if you can't say yes to most of them, should you even be thinking about the "10 Best Locations For A Destination Wedding" or "10 Must-Haves For Your Wedding Day"...no matter how great the wedding is, if in 2, 5, or 10 years you are signing divorce papers, it just won't matter.
Smash and J are doing it right (in my opinion)...on the beach, with no fanfare, with only the few people that will be impacted in some way by the marriage (them, parents, children, me-ok, I'm really not impacted I just want to be there cuz I love them both, and someone has to wrangle the kids) and then BBQ. Nothin' wrong with a big fancy wedding if you can afford it, and I "get" the concept of sharing with all your friends and family, but far too often I see brides (cuz face it, very rarely is it a groom that gets pissed becuz the linens are cream not ecru) get so wrapped up in what's NOT important, that they forget what IS.
I was guilty of this myself, and despite KNOWING in my gut I didn't want to get married I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the wedding and all it entailed. In my case, doing all the planning myself and micromanaging every detail allowed me to get lost in wedding happy land and stomp down my true feelings when what I should have done is taken a step back, and thought about what would come after the big day...I wonder: if the whole wedding industry suddenly went away and it wasn't "cool" to have a wedding, the concept of an engagement ring didn't exist, married tax breaks went away, and the only way to tell a married someone from an unmarried someone was by a plain gold band and their level of commitment to their spouse, if less people would enter into it, and if those that did would have a better than 50% chance of making it? Something to ponder...
In light of all this I thought I would re-run part of an old post..it was one I ran back when Smash and J were starting to consider marriage and whether or not being together forever was something they both wanted. I thought it was worth re-running because I have been reading wedding lists all week and thought a better list would be one about the relationship instead...
mr/mrs right?
1. You absolutely know he/she wants you as much as you want them. If it's right, your feelings of love are reciprocal and mutual and not one-sided.
2. He/she walks into a room, and you just have to smile. You can't help it! And when you look at him/her, he/she's smiling at you.
3. You do kind and sweet things for each other just because you want to and not because you feel you have to. Doing them makes you both feel good -- and special.
4. You are very secure in the relationship. There is no need for jealousy or suspicion. This is a drama-free zone. No one plays games or secretly tests the other.
5. He/she likes you for who you are and doesn't want to change you. Not only does he/she not make you feel bad about yourself, but also he boosts your self-esteem.
6. Life isn't perfect. You've had your ups and downs, but through it all, you have remained together with the relationship unshaken.
7. He/she has good friends, and you like who they are when they spend time with them.
8. He/she does not try to have power over you. There are absolutely no mind games or power plays in the relationship.
9. He/she doesn't pressure you to do things you don't want to do.
10. The religious and personal beliefs, life goals and interests that make you different don't push you apart.
...this list is not the end all, that's for sure, but if you can't say yes to most of them, should you even be thinking about the "10 Best Locations For A Destination Wedding" or "10 Must-Haves For Your Wedding Day"...no matter how great the wedding is, if in 2, 5, or 10 years you are signing divorce papers, it just won't matter.
Monday, June 8, 2009
a brand new box
Remember this:
Saturday, July 12, 2008
the Christmas of the box
Wow, I have actually been so busy the last few days I haven't been able to write...I actually had to work at work...imagine that. So on Thursday I had to sit through a class on HazMat...fun and games right? Well the instructor thought it was THE most exciting and interesting stuff EVER, the rest of us...not so much.
The funny thing about the class, is that it made me remember this past Christmas.See, the instructor kept using the word box whenever he was referring to any kind of package at all, and I swear he said it like 52 times in the first few minutes..I had to stifle my giggles, it was ridiculous.
Ok, so it's December of last year, Smash, J, JJ and Boo are coming down for Christmas...my parents decide they are going to just ship "all our presents" to my house. Every day for a week they call to ask if we "got the box?" and since I usually only talk to mom OR dad once or twice a month I figured this was one HELL of a box, with lots of good shit.
About 4 days before Christmas we get the box...it's about the size of a shoebox and it's drop shipped from Harry & David...WTF? This can't be it, this had to be an additional box, THE box must be late.
So I call mom,
me: "hey there, got a box of somethin' from Harry & David"
mom: "OOOH GOOOD, you got your Christmas presents then"
me: "ummmm, ok, yeah, are they ALL in there, for EVERYONE?"
mom: "yes, yes, and don't open them until Smash and the boys get there"
me: "oh, ok, great...thanks so much!"
Meanwhile I am thinking, "its food, gourmet food, we have a 2, 4, and 6 yr old and it's Christmas - what is that?" So Smash, J, JJ & Boo arrive, and I present the box. Smash starts laughing, J is wondering what the hell is so funny and the kids are maniacs because of course they think the box MUST be filled with great stuff...we open the box...inside the box is:
MORE BOXES...
Oh yeah, 5 red boxes of assorted size, each one containing some heinous little food with a designer label.
OMG...OMG...OMG.
There wasn't enough of any one thing to share amongst 7 people, and there were only 5 different things...let me see if I can remember what they were: fruit cake, fudge, baklava, raspberry cookie bar thing, and......oh who cares.
Anyway, we call mom & dad to "thank them" and they are just so damn proud...they sooo did not get it...and these are not 90 yr olds, they are not poor (anymore), they know we have children. We are close to just letting it go and writing it off as my parents being clueless when we happen to ask what youngest got. Big mistake...HUGE...because upon hearing the answer we are furious.
Oh, he got a box too...
A brand new box...
See, mom and dad agreed to pay for him to get him a sex change...lets see how did J put it?
"So let me get this straight...the SEVEN of us got a BOX of Harry & David and your brother GOT A VAGINA?!"
And not just a vagina, but hormone treatments, laser hair removal, the works...that shit ain't cheap. Now granted, my parents have never been big gift givers (not to us anyway) so it's not like we were expecting a whole lot, but if in order to get them to spend money on us we have to ask for new body parts...hmmm I think I'll pass, I'm pretty damn happy with my box thank you very much, I don't think I want a new one.
UPDATE Jan. 2009...ok so this Christmas mom & dad redeemed themselves...we got gift cards and the kids racked up with some great stuff...Youngest wasn't there, we don't know what she got...I'm still very happy with my box and have only my original body parts.
Youngest is now officially, legally, anatomically...a girl...my baby brother is now my baby sister...JD has happily (well ok, begrudgingly, whatEVER) taken on the role of baby brother since I am still coming to terms with not having one, and I have yet to meet my baby sister. I am excited about it, hoping that now she feels "right" in her own skin we can have a relationship and be sisters, but having been somewhat estranged for the last few years I am not holding out hope for a running in slow motion, through a field of flowers, hug and cry fest.
How do you start over with someone? How do you forge a new relationship with someone you have known forever, yet don't know at all?
DH and I are starting over...making our way as two single parents doing our best to raise the same kid...we are trying to be friends and create a new way of seeing each other. Is it possible to start over like that with someone who really is "new" and wants the whole world to see them differently? Sometimes when you make a major life change, and you see yourself as someone else, having faith in people who "knew you when" to do the same is hard. Even if THEY are willing to see you as your new self, there is sometimes an underlying uneasiness, and it is easier to just break away and start over with new people who only know who you are now.
There was a part of me that wanted to jump ship after splitting from DH...get out of town, make new friends, start over from scratch...I am glad I didn't, and once I gave my friends time to adjust they remained just that, my friends. The ones who have drifted away or are unwilling to accept me as the single girl self that I am now were probably never friends to begin with. I hope my baby sister trusts that we (her family) can see her as who she is NOW, and gives us a chance to like her (or not) based on that and that alone. I am mourning the loss of the little man that I knew and loved, but I am looking forward to meeting the little lady...I hope I like her.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
the Christmas of the box
Wow, I have actually been so busy the last few days I haven't been able to write...I actually had to work at work...imagine that. So on Thursday I had to sit through a class on HazMat...fun and games right? Well the instructor thought it was THE most exciting and interesting stuff EVER, the rest of us...not so much.
The funny thing about the class, is that it made me remember this past Christmas.See, the instructor kept using the word box whenever he was referring to any kind of package at all, and I swear he said it like 52 times in the first few minutes..I had to stifle my giggles, it was ridiculous.
Ok, so it's December of last year, Smash, J, JJ and Boo are coming down for Christmas...my parents decide they are going to just ship "all our presents" to my house. Every day for a week they call to ask if we "got the box?" and since I usually only talk to mom OR dad once or twice a month I figured this was one HELL of a box, with lots of good shit.
About 4 days before Christmas we get the box...it's about the size of a shoebox and it's drop shipped from Harry & David...WTF? This can't be it, this had to be an additional box, THE box must be late.
So I call mom,
me: "hey there, got a box of somethin' from Harry & David"
mom: "OOOH GOOOD, you got your Christmas presents then"
me: "ummmm, ok, yeah, are they ALL in there, for EVERYONE?"
mom: "yes, yes, and don't open them until Smash and the boys get there"
me: "oh, ok, great...thanks so much!"
Meanwhile I am thinking, "its food, gourmet food, we have a 2, 4, and 6 yr old and it's Christmas - what is that?" So Smash, J, JJ & Boo arrive, and I present the box. Smash starts laughing, J is wondering what the hell is so funny and the kids are maniacs because of course they think the box MUST be filled with great stuff...we open the box...inside the box is:
MORE BOXES...
Oh yeah, 5 red boxes of assorted size, each one containing some heinous little food with a designer label.
OMG...OMG...OMG.
There wasn't enough of any one thing to share amongst 7 people, and there were only 5 different things...let me see if I can remember what they were: fruit cake, fudge, baklava, raspberry cookie bar thing, and......oh who cares.
Anyway, we call mom & dad to "thank them" and they are just so damn proud...they sooo did not get it...and these are not 90 yr olds, they are not poor (anymore), they know we have children. We are close to just letting it go and writing it off as my parents being clueless when we happen to ask what youngest got. Big mistake...HUGE...because upon hearing the answer we are furious.
Oh, he got a box too...
A brand new box...
See, mom and dad agreed to pay for him to get him a sex change...lets see how did J put it?
"So let me get this straight...the SEVEN of us got a BOX of Harry & David and your brother GOT A VAGINA?!"
And not just a vagina, but hormone treatments, laser hair removal, the works...that shit ain't cheap. Now granted, my parents have never been big gift givers (not to us anyway) so it's not like we were expecting a whole lot, but if in order to get them to spend money on us we have to ask for new body parts...hmmm I think I'll pass, I'm pretty damn happy with my box thank you very much, I don't think I want a new one.
UPDATE Jan. 2009...ok so this Christmas mom & dad redeemed themselves...we got gift cards and the kids racked up with some great stuff...Youngest wasn't there, we don't know what she got...I'm still very happy with my box and have only my original body parts.
Youngest is now officially, legally, anatomically...a girl...my baby brother is now my baby sister...JD has happily (well ok, begrudgingly, whatEVER) taken on the role of baby brother since I am still coming to terms with not having one, and I have yet to meet my baby sister. I am excited about it, hoping that now she feels "right" in her own skin we can have a relationship and be sisters, but having been somewhat estranged for the last few years I am not holding out hope for a running in slow motion, through a field of flowers, hug and cry fest.
How do you start over with someone? How do you forge a new relationship with someone you have known forever, yet don't know at all?
DH and I are starting over...making our way as two single parents doing our best to raise the same kid...we are trying to be friends and create a new way of seeing each other. Is it possible to start over like that with someone who really is "new" and wants the whole world to see them differently? Sometimes when you make a major life change, and you see yourself as someone else, having faith in people who "knew you when" to do the same is hard. Even if THEY are willing to see you as your new self, there is sometimes an underlying uneasiness, and it is easier to just break away and start over with new people who only know who you are now.
There was a part of me that wanted to jump ship after splitting from DH...get out of town, make new friends, start over from scratch...I am glad I didn't, and once I gave my friends time to adjust they remained just that, my friends. The ones who have drifted away or are unwilling to accept me as the single girl self that I am now were probably never friends to begin with. I hope my baby sister trusts that we (her family) can see her as who she is NOW, and gives us a chance to like her (or not) based on that and that alone. I am mourning the loss of the little man that I knew and loved, but I am looking forward to meeting the little lady...I hope I like her.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
bittersweet
Well, last night was lovely. We went to a great restaurant, had a good meal, and talked. There were a few uncomfortable moments, but we moved on from them, and overall we both had a nice time. The night started with a wee bit of tension, and nervousness, but by the time we were half way through our first drink we were talking and relaxed.
There was no spark...
There was a part of me that was hoping for one, and a part of me that wanted a disaster. The spark would have meant hope for reconciliation, a disaster would have meant I could hate him. There was neither, and so while it was good, and necessary, and from it came the possibility of us one day being good friends, it was sad...sad and bittersweet.
There was no spark...
There was a part of me that was hoping for one, and a part of me that wanted a disaster. The spark would have meant hope for reconciliation, a disaster would have meant I could hate him. There was neither, and so while it was good, and necessary, and from it came the possibility of us one day being good friends, it was sad...sad and bittersweet.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
nothing
It is Saturday morning...the Pea has been with her daddy since 5pm last night, and I am (I think for the first time) actually enjoying my free time rather than being pitiful. Usually, I get all antsy and wonder around aimlessly, trying to find something to do, but then not focusing on whatever it is...I can usually feel my whole body tensed up and uncomfortable and no amount of fun out with friends or planned activities can make me feel better. Last night I got a little sad after she left, and since I didn't have any plans I was nervous, but I ended up taking a wicked long shower, putting on my PJs, and sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. I watched a movie and talked to Booya and Mclovin on the phone and before I knew it it was midnight and I went to bed and fell asleep. For some of you that may not seem like a big deal, but usually, no matter how tired I am, I lay in bed thinking, tossing, and turning...last night I crashed. When I woke up at 6am this morning, I made myself go back to sleep and ended up staying in bed until 9am. 9am!!!!!!! I don't remember the last time I stayed in bed until 9. As a result, right now I am rested, relaxed and looking forward to a day of nothing.
I have no plans, other than the date with DH tonight, so I think I will head to DD for a coffee, hit the library, and then tackle the 6 months worth of In Style and Marie Claire magazines sitting on my counter that I haven't had a chance to look at...if I get really motivated I will go through all my clothes and reorganize for the summer, but who knows. Sorry I don't have a story or a musing or just something more. I am sure either in my time out and about or in reading through the magazines something random will strike me and I will have to tell y'all about it, but for now, nope, nothing. Enjoy the weekend.
Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha
I have no plans, other than the date with DH tonight, so I think I will head to DD for a coffee, hit the library, and then tackle the 6 months worth of In Style and Marie Claire magazines sitting on my counter that I haven't had a chance to look at...if I get really motivated I will go through all my clothes and reorganize for the summer, but who knows. Sorry I don't have a story or a musing or just something more. I am sure either in my time out and about or in reading through the magazines something random will strike me and I will have to tell y'all about it, but for now, nope, nothing. Enjoy the weekend.
Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha
Thursday, June 4, 2009
bras, bagels, & bachelorettes
I have a date with DH this Saturday night. A few months back he asked and at the time I said I wasn't ready to date anyone, much less someone who had already seen me naked, but I promised I would, before we signed the divorce papers. With the divorce fast approaching and since I am now ready to date, when he asked yesterday if I would, I said yes. I am a little apprehensive, but I want to go. I owe it to myself, to him, and to the Pea, to make absolutely certain there is no hope for reconciliation before we sign anything. I also want to go ahead and do this before I get involved with anyone else because there is no way I will give him a fair shake if I am in the happy glow of a new relationship.
My goal for the night is to try and see him for who he is now, and present myself as I am now, and see if there is a spark...I don't know what he has in mind, but I have no intention of talking about our marriage or the last 14 years...I want to see if we are compatible now, and go from there. I know if we try and talk about the past we will just end up fighting and that will suck. Fingers crossed...and now, some shit that doesn't suck.
Every morning I go to NY Times online to skim the news...another sight with a similar layout, but far more fun is http://www.theonion.com/content/index. It has the same look, but a far different feel. If you need a laugh, or are just tired of the "real" news, check it out, you won't be disappointed.
I like fancy panties...I like bras that match...unfortunately for me I am kinda a weird bra size, so until now I had a really hard time finding matching sets without buying a bra that didn't fit. I like Victoria Secret panties, but they don't carry my bra size. WELLLLL...one night I was bitching about this problem to the guys (yeah, I dunno why either...just like they sometimes forget I am a girl, I sometimes forget they are guys...anyway) and Partyman suggested Fredericks of Hollywood. I thought he was joking, but he then went on to say his wife was similar in size to me and they had pretty good stuff and I should check it out. I did, they are my new favorite store http://www.fredericks.com/. OMG...I had NO IDEA, I thought they just sold trashy lingerie and "dance wear" NOOOO, they have really nice bras and panties to match and they CARRY MY SIZE...I am wearing a lovely little red set right now and the girls look fabulous.
It is no secret that I am hooked on Dunkin Donuts coffee. For those of you who know me well, you also know I went through serious pumpkin donut addiction. My NEW favorite: the multi-grain bagel...it is one of those foods that disguises itself as healthy but has about a million calories (and if you get it toasted with butter like I do, a zillion, easy). I can't stop, I love them...I am outta control. I keep this shit up and I won't be able to fit into all my new fancy panties, but I thought I would share anyway cuz they are soooooo damn good. https://www.dunkindonuts.com/aboutus/nutrition/Product.aspx?Category=Bagels&id=DD-784
Ok, last but certainly not least...anyone else hooked on The Bachelorette like I am? Jillian is my new girl crush, she is awesome, couple her with a bunch of hotties...ooohh la la. Even better than the show itself is the liveblogging http://www.thefrisky.com/focuson/the-bachelorette/...I swear to granola, I will think something, and Amelia will write it. Guys this is not for you, you will hate it.
Well, a date with a husband is not exactly something most people would consider a necessary part of "spring break" (maybe a date with someone else's husband...jk) but I think for me it is...let's hope I can just live in the moment and enjoy it...and it doesn't suck.
Who is up for tequila shots if it's a disaster?
My goal for the night is to try and see him for who he is now, and present myself as I am now, and see if there is a spark...I don't know what he has in mind, but I have no intention of talking about our marriage or the last 14 years...I want to see if we are compatible now, and go from there. I know if we try and talk about the past we will just end up fighting and that will suck. Fingers crossed...and now, some shit that doesn't suck.
Every morning I go to NY Times online to skim the news...another sight with a similar layout, but far more fun is http://www.theonion.com/content/index. It has the same look, but a far different feel. If you need a laugh, or are just tired of the "real" news, check it out, you won't be disappointed.
I like fancy panties...I like bras that match...unfortunately for me I am kinda a weird bra size, so until now I had a really hard time finding matching sets without buying a bra that didn't fit. I like Victoria Secret panties, but they don't carry my bra size. WELLLLL...one night I was bitching about this problem to the guys (yeah, I dunno why either...just like they sometimes forget I am a girl, I sometimes forget they are guys...anyway) and Partyman suggested Fredericks of Hollywood. I thought he was joking, but he then went on to say his wife was similar in size to me and they had pretty good stuff and I should check it out. I did, they are my new favorite store http://www.fredericks.com/. OMG...I had NO IDEA, I thought they just sold trashy lingerie and "dance wear" NOOOO, they have really nice bras and panties to match and they CARRY MY SIZE...I am wearing a lovely little red set right now and the girls look fabulous.
It is no secret that I am hooked on Dunkin Donuts coffee. For those of you who know me well, you also know I went through serious pumpkin donut addiction. My NEW favorite: the multi-grain bagel...it is one of those foods that disguises itself as healthy but has about a million calories (and if you get it toasted with butter like I do, a zillion, easy). I can't stop, I love them...I am outta control. I keep this shit up and I won't be able to fit into all my new fancy panties, but I thought I would share anyway cuz they are soooooo damn good. https://www.dunkindonuts.com/aboutus/nutrition/Product.aspx?Category=Bagels&id=DD-784
Ok, last but certainly not least...anyone else hooked on The Bachelorette like I am? Jillian is my new girl crush, she is awesome, couple her with a bunch of hotties...ooohh la la. Even better than the show itself is the liveblogging http://www.thefrisky.com/focuson/the-bachelorette/...I swear to granola, I will think something, and Amelia will write it. Guys this is not for you, you will hate it.
Well, a date with a husband is not exactly something most people would consider a necessary part of "spring break" (maybe a date with someone else's husband...jk) but I think for me it is...let's hope I can just live in the moment and enjoy it...and it doesn't suck.
Who is up for tequila shots if it's a disaster?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
letter
Dear Mr. Regular Guy,
I tried to respond to your email but it was returned as an invalid address...huh? I hope you didn't go to the trouble of opening an email acct, emailing me, and then closing the account before I had a chance to respond...no worries...I will just post my response here.
Uhm, no...I am not a supermodel, not even close. I realize I have a fair amount of "baggage" and so therefore am not perfect, and yes, I do think I am God's gift...I happen to think we are ALL God's gifts, even you...moving on.
When I said I wouldn't "let" other than amazing men into my life, or bed, I did not mean to imply that I have hoards beating down my door and I am turning away all but the best...not at all, nor did I mean that I wanted a "perfect" man, as a matter of fact far from. I want someone real, flawed, and human...just like me...my "fellow dorky snowflake." I don't think wanting someone that I like and can talk to, that I find sexy and hot, and that is cool and can make me laugh, is too much to ask for, and I would hope that any man who "lets" me into his life feels that I TOO am hot and sexy, easy to talk to, cool, and funny.
It's ok that you would never date me, or someone like me...I don't subscribe to the theory that there is only one person out there for me...if you are one of my soul mates and I never get the chance to meet you, oh well. Thanks for the luck, I can always use more, but I have to disagree: there are, in fact, MANY amazing men out there who could live up to my standards...I'm not worried.
Good luck to you.
K
I tried to respond to your email but it was returned as an invalid address...huh? I hope you didn't go to the trouble of opening an email acct, emailing me, and then closing the account before I had a chance to respond...no worries...I will just post my response here.
Uhm, no...I am not a supermodel, not even close. I realize I have a fair amount of "baggage" and so therefore am not perfect, and yes, I do think I am God's gift...I happen to think we are ALL God's gifts, even you...moving on.
When I said I wouldn't "let" other than amazing men into my life, or bed, I did not mean to imply that I have hoards beating down my door and I am turning away all but the best...not at all, nor did I mean that I wanted a "perfect" man, as a matter of fact far from. I want someone real, flawed, and human...just like me...my "fellow dorky snowflake." I don't think wanting someone that I like and can talk to, that I find sexy and hot, and that is cool and can make me laugh, is too much to ask for, and I would hope that any man who "lets" me into his life feels that I TOO am hot and sexy, easy to talk to, cool, and funny.
It's ok that you would never date me, or someone like me...I don't subscribe to the theory that there is only one person out there for me...if you are one of my soul mates and I never get the chance to meet you, oh well. Thanks for the luck, I can always use more, but I have to disagree: there are, in fact, MANY amazing men out there who could live up to my standards...I'm not worried.
Good luck to you.
K
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
advice
Yesterday's Dating Amelia post on TheFrisky (http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dating-amelia-everyones-got-advice/) was a bit of a rant on all the advice she has been getting. I could SOOOO identify...I have been getting all kinds of advice, like her both solicited and not, and it is ridiculous how EVERYONE has a different take on every situation, and it all tends to contradict. I won't even be thinking I need advice and then someone will say something which will get me thinking, which will then lead me to seeking advice, which I will get, which will confuse me even more...it is amazing what one little date can lead to:
So Coffee Date Dude a.k.a. Texty McNoCall and I have a lovely coffee date, hour together at a concert, lots of good talk, but no spark...I am left feeling good, but knowing it will never amount to anything...I figure: perfect first time out, training run, spring camp, whatever you wanna call it, bottom line thanks for playing, try again. WELLLLL, he continues to text to check in and set up tentative future dates that never happen...my gut says "Done, and done." I have enough guy friends, and that is all he would ever be cuz there is no spark, so move on...upon telling others this, I got a variety of responses:
1) Good, he sounds like a douche stalker...run, run away. (Little harsh, me thinks)
2) Awww, but he is so sweet, he brought you wine and he keeps texting to check on you...maybe he just can't talk on the phone...ya know, very busy in meetings and stuff. (Uhm, no, sorry...if you are so effing busy that you can't make a two minute phone call, you are clearly too busy to fit me into your life and therefore not boyfriend material)
3) Clearly he is just young and a little insecure...he likes you a lot or he wouldn't keep texting, give him a chance, you must go out with a guy at least 3 times before you can make a judgement. (Yeah....NO, and in what rule book is that in anyway? 3 times? If there is a spark I pretty much know right away...if, in addition to that, I get to know someone and find out they are cool, game on...otherwise, why try to force it?)
4) He probably has a girlfriend and doesn't want to get caught...doesn't mean you can't hang with him though, maybe a fling? (Why would I want a fling if there is no spark?!)
The funny thing is, I had already made up my mind and felt good about it...it wasn't until everyone else started weighing in did I start to think I should re-think. Why do we do that? Why do we allow what others say influence how we feel? When we are single and everyone is constantly asking "when are you gonna get a boyfriend?" we think "oh, crap, should I? I guess so, if everyone thinks so..." then you get one and everyone starts asking "when are you getting married?" when it hadn't even occurred until everyone started asking...and then when you finally do get married the inevitable "when are you having a baby?" UGH...for crying out loud, isn't it ever good enough to just enjoy the stage you are in and take full advantage? Having done the marriage and baby deal I happen to know how hard it is so I see no rush to do it again...nor do I think all my gal/guy friends should rush out and do it either. It is fun being single, it is nice being in a monogamous relationship without the rings, it is great being in a healthy marriage, it is fantastic becoming a mommy...why speed through each stage only to find out when you get to the next that the one before it is gone and you miss it?
I dunno what Amelia will end up doing, or who's advice she will end up taking in this adventure that is being single, but I know I am gonna try like hell to just relax and listen to my gut. I am gonna have the courage to put myself out there and meet new people and let others in, but I am sure as shit not gonna settle or spend my time with people I know I don't care to have in my life. The best advice ever in the history of the world is still: "be particular" (Sweet Potato Queens Book Of Love) and as such, is the only advice I am taking to heart. I remember now, I wrote a post about that last year (http://crazyincarolina.blogspot.com/2008/09/well-it-looks-like-it-is-going-to-be.html), and at the time, made a promise to myself to only let into my life, and into my bed, amazing men that I share a connection, a spark, and a laugh...I am keeping my promise, even if it means Bob (for those of you new here: battery operated boyfriend) and I, spend a lot of time together while we wait.
So Coffee Date Dude a.k.a. Texty McNoCall and I have a lovely coffee date, hour together at a concert, lots of good talk, but no spark...I am left feeling good, but knowing it will never amount to anything...I figure: perfect first time out, training run, spring camp, whatever you wanna call it, bottom line thanks for playing, try again. WELLLLL, he continues to text to check in and set up tentative future dates that never happen...my gut says "Done, and done." I have enough guy friends, and that is all he would ever be cuz there is no spark, so move on...upon telling others this, I got a variety of responses:
1) Good, he sounds like a douche stalker...run, run away. (Little harsh, me thinks)
2) Awww, but he is so sweet, he brought you wine and he keeps texting to check on you...maybe he just can't talk on the phone...ya know, very busy in meetings and stuff. (Uhm, no, sorry...if you are so effing busy that you can't make a two minute phone call, you are clearly too busy to fit me into your life and therefore not boyfriend material)
3) Clearly he is just young and a little insecure...he likes you a lot or he wouldn't keep texting, give him a chance, you must go out with a guy at least 3 times before you can make a judgement. (Yeah....NO, and in what rule book is that in anyway? 3 times? If there is a spark I pretty much know right away...if, in addition to that, I get to know someone and find out they are cool, game on...otherwise, why try to force it?)
4) He probably has a girlfriend and doesn't want to get caught...doesn't mean you can't hang with him though, maybe a fling? (Why would I want a fling if there is no spark?!)
The funny thing is, I had already made up my mind and felt good about it...it wasn't until everyone else started weighing in did I start to think I should re-think. Why do we do that? Why do we allow what others say influence how we feel? When we are single and everyone is constantly asking "when are you gonna get a boyfriend?" we think "oh, crap, should I? I guess so, if everyone thinks so..." then you get one and everyone starts asking "when are you getting married?" when it hadn't even occurred until everyone started asking...and then when you finally do get married the inevitable "when are you having a baby?" UGH...for crying out loud, isn't it ever good enough to just enjoy the stage you are in and take full advantage? Having done the marriage and baby deal I happen to know how hard it is so I see no rush to do it again...nor do I think all my gal/guy friends should rush out and do it either. It is fun being single, it is nice being in a monogamous relationship without the rings, it is great being in a healthy marriage, it is fantastic becoming a mommy...why speed through each stage only to find out when you get to the next that the one before it is gone and you miss it?
I dunno what Amelia will end up doing, or who's advice she will end up taking in this adventure that is being single, but I know I am gonna try like hell to just relax and listen to my gut. I am gonna have the courage to put myself out there and meet new people and let others in, but I am sure as shit not gonna settle or spend my time with people I know I don't care to have in my life. The best advice ever in the history of the world is still: "be particular" (Sweet Potato Queens Book Of Love) and as such, is the only advice I am taking to heart. I remember now, I wrote a post about that last year (http://crazyincarolina.blogspot.com/2008/09/well-it-looks-like-it-is-going-to-be.html), and at the time, made a promise to myself to only let into my life, and into my bed, amazing men that I share a connection, a spark, and a laugh...I am keeping my promise, even if it means Bob (for those of you new here: battery operated boyfriend) and I, spend a lot of time together while we wait.
Monday, June 1, 2009
cake
On my way to work this morning I passed a school bus stop (what is it with the bus stops?) and at it two little guys (maybe 8 yrs old?) beating the immortal shit out of each other. They both still had their backpacks on and were throwing punches as they fell to the ground...big brother, or at least an older looking kid, was standing over them watching, and eating an apple. A game gone awry? A bet? One called the other's mother a who-ere (that's whore with a Scottish accent, and another story altogether)...who knows, but I came up with a few things I think are worth fighting for. I don't see myself EVER rolling on the ground punching the neighbor in the head, but I'm scrappy, and if ya mess with me, well...never know.
For my right to party...sorry, lame, had to go there...moving on.
My place in line at a ladies room when I REALLLLY have to pee...I will give a bye to a pregnant lady or a little kid, but bitch, if you ain't either: step back and wait your damn turn...please...even worse: if my Pea has been standing in line and you cut in front of her cuz you figure SHE can't kick your ass...I am lioness, hear me roar (yes, this happened the other day, the nerve of some people!).
A really good parking space that I scoped out and have been waiting for while the lady got all her shit in the car, checked her phone, re-applied her lipstick, started the car, adjusted the radio, and FINALLY decided to back out of...ESPECIALLY in the pouring rain. I'm sorry: if I am sitting there with my blinker on, I got next...move along.
Ok, so no, those aren't worth coming to blows over...but what is? Is it EVER ok to knock someone upside the head (even if they deserve it)? I certainly think there are those who walk the earth that shouldn't (think pedophile) and should have their naughty parts removed rather savagely and left to bleed to death while writhing on the ground, but other than that? Seems the whole world is at war right now and for what? We like to say we are fighting for justice, human rights, etc. but are we really just killing people, and allowing our own people to die, for oil and diamonds?
What is really worth fighting for?
Life, love, democracy, freedom, fair and equal rights for ALL people, the right to speak your mind (even if you prove yourself an idiot), safety and the safety of your family, your health and the ability to obtain quality health care, education, our food supply and clean drinking water...oh, and cake, especially chocolate...don't ever try and take cake away from me...I will cut you.
For my right to party...sorry, lame, had to go there...moving on.
My place in line at a ladies room when I REALLLLY have to pee...I will give a bye to a pregnant lady or a little kid, but bitch, if you ain't either: step back and wait your damn turn...please...even worse: if my Pea has been standing in line and you cut in front of her cuz you figure SHE can't kick your ass...I am lioness, hear me roar (yes, this happened the other day, the nerve of some people!).
A really good parking space that I scoped out and have been waiting for while the lady got all her shit in the car, checked her phone, re-applied her lipstick, started the car, adjusted the radio, and FINALLY decided to back out of...ESPECIALLY in the pouring rain. I'm sorry: if I am sitting there with my blinker on, I got next...move along.
Ok, so no, those aren't worth coming to blows over...but what is? Is it EVER ok to knock someone upside the head (even if they deserve it)? I certainly think there are those who walk the earth that shouldn't (think pedophile) and should have their naughty parts removed rather savagely and left to bleed to death while writhing on the ground, but other than that? Seems the whole world is at war right now and for what? We like to say we are fighting for justice, human rights, etc. but are we really just killing people, and allowing our own people to die, for oil and diamonds?
What is really worth fighting for?
Life, love, democracy, freedom, fair and equal rights for ALL people, the right to speak your mind (even if you prove yourself an idiot), safety and the safety of your family, your health and the ability to obtain quality health care, education, our food supply and clean drinking water...oh, and cake, especially chocolate...don't ever try and take cake away from me...I will cut you.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
sunday
It is Sunday night, it is getting late, but I just wanted to say: I am loving spring break.
Had a fantastic day today, partly because I was able to just chill and enjoy it...I didn't worry about sticking to a schedule or how I looked, or if the Pea got her clothes all messed up (which she did, of course)...I didn't stress when my camera died at an inopportune time, although I was sad...and when a party I attended this afternoon wasn't exactly what I had in mind and so had to leave early to run through a drive-thru for dinner, I didn't get all pissed off. Sounds obvious, and simple, but I wasn't always that way.
The Pea and I started the day by getting up early, getting the laundry done, and straightening the house (thank God, cuz otherwise I would be doing it now). Then JD came into town and we headed to the beach...first we had a nice brunch and after we hung on the beach building sand castles, enjoying the weather, and soaking up the sun...then we went home and the Pea and I got ready for an afternoon tea party and ballet. We attended this same event last year, and she had a blast. Last year of course we ate beforehand, only to be greeted with all variety of cheese, cracker, and sandwich that you could imagine, and this year (being smart, or so I thought) we skipped lunch and were offered only a few cookies and a cupcake...oopsie. The performance after the party was lovely, and despite having to leave a few minutes before the final act because the Pea was getting CRANK-EEE (only having a cookie and the frosting off a cupcake since brunch did not a happy baby make) we had a lot of fun.
It wasn't just today that was fantastic...I have had a truly lovely week. There have been moments, where I had to deal with a reality that I didn't want to, or I got a little down, but overall...very cool...fingers crossed for another one.
Had a fantastic day today, partly because I was able to just chill and enjoy it...I didn't worry about sticking to a schedule or how I looked, or if the Pea got her clothes all messed up (which she did, of course)...I didn't stress when my camera died at an inopportune time, although I was sad...and when a party I attended this afternoon wasn't exactly what I had in mind and so had to leave early to run through a drive-thru for dinner, I didn't get all pissed off. Sounds obvious, and simple, but I wasn't always that way.
The Pea and I started the day by getting up early, getting the laundry done, and straightening the house (thank God, cuz otherwise I would be doing it now). Then JD came into town and we headed to the beach...first we had a nice brunch and after we hung on the beach building sand castles, enjoying the weather, and soaking up the sun...then we went home and the Pea and I got ready for an afternoon tea party and ballet. We attended this same event last year, and she had a blast. Last year of course we ate beforehand, only to be greeted with all variety of cheese, cracker, and sandwich that you could imagine, and this year (being smart, or so I thought) we skipped lunch and were offered only a few cookies and a cupcake...oopsie. The performance after the party was lovely, and despite having to leave a few minutes before the final act because the Pea was getting CRANK-EEE (only having a cookie and the frosting off a cupcake since brunch did not a happy baby make) we had a lot of fun.
It wasn't just today that was fantastic...I have had a truly lovely week. There have been moments, where I had to deal with a reality that I didn't want to, or I got a little down, but overall...very cool...fingers crossed for another one.
Friday, May 29, 2009
flying bitchslaps
Ok, so I am a little late with my shit that doesn't suck, sorry, but since I am already 24 hours past due, before I get into it, a little something that does suck: waiting 4 hours for a bus. So, I don't actually KNOW if the person waited 4 hours, for all I know he could have waited even longer...he may have not been waiting at all, just chillin' at the bus stop cuz he had nothing better to do, but it perplexed me so I am gonna share.
After I dropped off the Pea at school, I headed to the library. I checked out two books...I will have to change the what I am reading now...and then left to go get coffee. Sitting at the light to leave the library I noticed a dude at the bus stop...I noticed him because he had a crazy outfit, dreadlocks, and a floppy hat. I then went to DD, had breakfast and coffee, read a few chapters of one of the books I checked out...left DD, talked to Smash while I drove to TJ Maxx and then for a good half hour sitting in the parking lot...went inside, bought a tank and two t-shirts...left there and hit a few other stores...another DD for another coffee, and then home. All of that took a good 4 hours and on the way home: the dude with the dreads and floppy hat was STILL at the bus stop. He had been standing the first time I saw him, the second time he was sitting. At what point do you give up and say "f*ck it, clearly the bus I want is not coming today" or do you not, because at any moment your bus could come and if you leave UNDOUBTEDLY it will come right after? Anyway, he seemed awfully dejected when I passed the second time and it got me thinking about waiting...waiting sucks...then again, maybe he was a stoner and just didn't notice when the bus came and was having his own private party at the bus stop and couldn't care less. I dunno...
Now...some shit that doesn't suck:
Got this as an email FWD, and in the subject box "because someone you know needs one"
thanks JD...
...yes, yes indeed, someone I know DOES need one...don't we all know someone we would love to flying bitchslap?
I'm a sucker for anything aviation related, combine that with WTF? love it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oKEfC2lekw
A new favorite website, and the article that brought me to it, via TheFrisky: http://truthmerchants.com/mag/2009/05/i-dont-understand-why-men/
J(Preston) is great...move over John DeVore (aka "hot writer man") I have a new writer man crush...
Ok, last but not least...tried this wine the other night cuz I liked the label...it is my new favorite (cheap) Cab...decided to do a little research so I could put it on the blog and discovered a very cool website, here are both: http://cheapwineratings.com/2007/11/10/five-rivers-cabernet-sauvignon/
Alrighty then...off to read my book and have a glass of wine...wish I could flying bitchslap someone, but at least I don't have to go anywhere on a bus.
After I dropped off the Pea at school, I headed to the library. I checked out two books...I will have to change the what I am reading now...and then left to go get coffee. Sitting at the light to leave the library I noticed a dude at the bus stop...I noticed him because he had a crazy outfit, dreadlocks, and a floppy hat. I then went to DD, had breakfast and coffee, read a few chapters of one of the books I checked out...left DD, talked to Smash while I drove to TJ Maxx and then for a good half hour sitting in the parking lot...went inside, bought a tank and two t-shirts...left there and hit a few other stores...another DD for another coffee, and then home. All of that took a good 4 hours and on the way home: the dude with the dreads and floppy hat was STILL at the bus stop. He had been standing the first time I saw him, the second time he was sitting. At what point do you give up and say "f*ck it, clearly the bus I want is not coming today" or do you not, because at any moment your bus could come and if you leave UNDOUBTEDLY it will come right after? Anyway, he seemed awfully dejected when I passed the second time and it got me thinking about waiting...waiting sucks...then again, maybe he was a stoner and just didn't notice when the bus came and was having his own private party at the bus stop and couldn't care less. I dunno...
Now...some shit that doesn't suck:
Got this as an email FWD, and in the subject box "because someone you know needs one"
thanks JD...
...yes, yes indeed, someone I know DOES need one...don't we all know someone we would love to flying bitchslap?I'm a sucker for anything aviation related, combine that with WTF? love it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oKEfC2lekw
A new favorite website, and the article that brought me to it, via TheFrisky: http://truthmerchants.com/mag/2009/05/i-dont-understand-why-men/
J(Preston) is great...move over John DeVore (aka "hot writer man") I have a new writer man crush...
Ok, last but not least...tried this wine the other night cuz I liked the label...it is my new favorite (cheap) Cab...decided to do a little research so I could put it on the blog and discovered a very cool website, here are both: http://cheapwineratings.com/2007/11/10/five-rivers-cabernet-sauvignon/
Alrighty then...off to read my book and have a glass of wine...wish I could flying bitchslap someone, but at least I don't have to go anywhere on a bus.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
spring break
Over the weekend I finished Girls In Trucks and picked up Love Or Something Like It by Deirdre Shaw. Love... is one of those books that draws you in and is a fairly easy read so I finished it the day after I started it. Good book, and considering it is about a thirtysomething going through a divorce and learning about herself, I could relate. The reason I am talking about it though is not cuz I thought it was the best book ever, or one that I think everyone needs to read, rather I actually took something the character in the book did and decided to apply it to my life. Toward the end of the book, after going through her divorce and then a series of relationships/hook ups she decides to take a break, a spring break.
I never did the whole spring break thing, and while I did spend one weekend in Daytona in my twenties with Bunny, I was married at the time. Matter of fact, I have pretty much been in a relationship that was, or resembled, marriage since I was 17. I need a break, and I intend to take one.
Don't worry mom, I am not gonna fly off to Florida and end up on a Girls Gone Wild (or rather Moms Gone Wild, LOL) video. I have no intention of sleeping around or acting a fool...I don't mean I am LITERALLY on spring break. I am not going to shirk my responsibilities, or quit my job, or start flashing my boobs. In the book she starts biking, doing yoga, hanging out at the beach and living each day as it's own entity...she stops thinking about whether or not the men she meets and spends time with are "the one" and instead thinks "is this someone I want to spend time with right now?" I intend to do the same (except without the biking, I don't have a bike).
Since "deciding" I am on spring break I have had two fantastic days. I didn't do anything spectacular or amazing, to anyone outside looking in there was probably no visible change from the usual, the reason they were fantastic is I chose to stop thinking about anything other than what I was doing in the moment I was doing it. I realize when you are a single working mommy there are times when planning ahead is essential. I know I can't ONLY think about the here and now and not deal with certain realities. I am not taking a break from life, I am giving myself permission to enjoy it. I have been getting pressure from a bunch of folks (and myself because I thought I should) to get out there and date...to move on, to find someone new. I gotta be honest though, despite missing sex, I am enjoying being single. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like being in a relationship was horrible, and I do get lonely sometimes, but after a very nice date and all that came after it, I realized: I just don't feel like dealing with all that right now.
Last night I went over to Grey's...he, his roommate, and I, cooked dinner, had a few bottles of wine, and hung out. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment because I didn't think past the present. I didn't worry about how I looked, how many calories were in what we were eating, or what I had done the day before or planned on doing the next...I said what I wanted to when I wanted and didn't agonize after if I said anything wrong. I was completely myself, no apologies, and while the guys may not have noticed a difference in me, I did. A great "side affect" of the in the moment living: when I got out of my head and stopped analyzing, planning, thinking, and worrying, I was able to focus more on the people I was with. Instead of thinking about what to say or do next, I was listening, watching, and enjoying the company I was in, and I was in pretty good company.
My spring break won't involve tequila shots, dancing on tables, sleeping till noon, or frat boys (I wish I could sleep till noon, but the rest, nah). No...spring break, for me, will be about eating great food, drinking nice wine, spending time with good people, and not worrying about what comes next. So far, so good.
I never did the whole spring break thing, and while I did spend one weekend in Daytona in my twenties with Bunny, I was married at the time. Matter of fact, I have pretty much been in a relationship that was, or resembled, marriage since I was 17. I need a break, and I intend to take one.
Don't worry mom, I am not gonna fly off to Florida and end up on a Girls Gone Wild (or rather Moms Gone Wild, LOL) video. I have no intention of sleeping around or acting a fool...I don't mean I am LITERALLY on spring break. I am not going to shirk my responsibilities, or quit my job, or start flashing my boobs. In the book she starts biking, doing yoga, hanging out at the beach and living each day as it's own entity...she stops thinking about whether or not the men she meets and spends time with are "the one" and instead thinks "is this someone I want to spend time with right now?" I intend to do the same (except without the biking, I don't have a bike).
Since "deciding" I am on spring break I have had two fantastic days. I didn't do anything spectacular or amazing, to anyone outside looking in there was probably no visible change from the usual, the reason they were fantastic is I chose to stop thinking about anything other than what I was doing in the moment I was doing it. I realize when you are a single working mommy there are times when planning ahead is essential. I know I can't ONLY think about the here and now and not deal with certain realities. I am not taking a break from life, I am giving myself permission to enjoy it. I have been getting pressure from a bunch of folks (and myself because I thought I should) to get out there and date...to move on, to find someone new. I gotta be honest though, despite missing sex, I am enjoying being single. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like being in a relationship was horrible, and I do get lonely sometimes, but after a very nice date and all that came after it, I realized: I just don't feel like dealing with all that right now.
Last night I went over to Grey's...he, his roommate, and I, cooked dinner, had a few bottles of wine, and hung out. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment because I didn't think past the present. I didn't worry about how I looked, how many calories were in what we were eating, or what I had done the day before or planned on doing the next...I said what I wanted to when I wanted and didn't agonize after if I said anything wrong. I was completely myself, no apologies, and while the guys may not have noticed a difference in me, I did. A great "side affect" of the in the moment living: when I got out of my head and stopped analyzing, planning, thinking, and worrying, I was able to focus more on the people I was with. Instead of thinking about what to say or do next, I was listening, watching, and enjoying the company I was in, and I was in pretty good company.
My spring break won't involve tequila shots, dancing on tables, sleeping till noon, or frat boys (I wish I could sleep till noon, but the rest, nah). No...spring break, for me, will be about eating great food, drinking nice wine, spending time with good people, and not worrying about what comes next. So far, so good.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Memorial Day
Today I cleaned my car, my house, all my clothes (including delicates), and all the dishes...hell should be good and frozen solid right about now. I don't know what got into me...I just got started and kept going and the Pea didn't wreck too much of what I had done. I like things clean, I just usually don't bother to do it...not when there are other, better, things to do.
Overall the weekend was pretty great...the Pea and I spent time at the beach...went to the aquarium...did some shopping...relaxed and had fun. For the most part I do what I want, when I want...I have the freedom to enjoy spending time with my little girl, and I feel safe wherever I go. I don't take any of it for granted...the freedom, and security, we have as citizens of this country was hard fought. Men and women died to protect our right to the pursuit of happiness, and if it weren't for them, none of what I did this weekend, or any other weekend for that matter, would be possible.
I made a vow not to talk politics or religion when I started this blog, so I won't, even though I REALLY want to right now cuz I am pretty pissed and disappointed in certain factions of our government...but I will say this: the men and women who died fighting for our country, and protecting our rights, deserve recognition, respect, and gratitude...not just today, but EVERYday.
Happy Memorial Day.
Overall the weekend was pretty great...the Pea and I spent time at the beach...went to the aquarium...did some shopping...relaxed and had fun. For the most part I do what I want, when I want...I have the freedom to enjoy spending time with my little girl, and I feel safe wherever I go. I don't take any of it for granted...the freedom, and security, we have as citizens of this country was hard fought. Men and women died to protect our right to the pursuit of happiness, and if it weren't for them, none of what I did this weekend, or any other weekend for that matter, would be possible.
I made a vow not to talk politics or religion when I started this blog, so I won't, even though I REALLY want to right now cuz I am pretty pissed and disappointed in certain factions of our government...but I will say this: the men and women who died fighting for our country, and protecting our rights, deserve recognition, respect, and gratitude...not just today, but EVERYday.
Happy Memorial Day.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
boy dates
I know y'all are wonderin' how the date went yesterday, or if it ever happened. Yes, it happened, although at one point I was worried we had another B2 situation. I thought he was going to call in the morning to let me know when would be good for him (he was working all day and was going to take a break to meet me out) and at 12:30 when I hadn't heard from him I called a girlfriend and said "F*ck this dating shit...I am on my way to the mall to buy granny panties and after that the pound to adopt 9 cats." I heard from him shortly after that, which was good cuz I was at Victoria Secret where the cotton panties were on sale 10 for $25...I went with the V-string and the lace thong (whew).
Ok, so we met downtown for coffee, which I found out he doesn't drink (why did we meet for coffee?) and we sat outside for the hour I had in the parking meter and just talked. We didn't touch on too much personal stuff, although I did tell him about the Pea (he didn't bolt, score) and turns out we have a ton in common. We both went to college for History, he likes books as much or more than I do, and we have almost identical political views. We have texted some since then and actually saw each other again last night at the concert; he texted to see how the band was, I replied it would be better if I had wine,he showed up with Pinot Noir...I thought that was pretty damn cool.
So, there ya go...who knows what will happen, but I am gonna hold off on the granny panties and the cats...for now.
Ok, so we met downtown for coffee, which I found out he doesn't drink (why did we meet for coffee?) and we sat outside for the hour I had in the parking meter and just talked. We didn't touch on too much personal stuff, although I did tell him about the Pea (he didn't bolt, score) and turns out we have a ton in common. We both went to college for History, he likes books as much or more than I do, and we have almost identical political views. We have texted some since then and actually saw each other again last night at the concert; he texted to see how the band was, I replied it would be better if I had wine,he showed up with Pinot Noir...I thought that was pretty damn cool.
So, there ya go...who knows what will happen, but I am gonna hold off on the granny panties and the cats...for now.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
girl dates
I have had a great week so far...ever have the opportunity to catch up with someone from your past and it goes as good or better than you expect? Well, I had that opportunity this week and it was awesome. Often times when you reconnect with someone from your past, especially if it is someone from school and you are past the age of 25, it just ends up being a disappointment. You are both different people, you no longer have anything in common, the conversation doesn't flow after the initial catch up...well, I was able to catch up with my very best friend from junior high this week and it was none of those things. She walked into the restaurant last night and I knew instantly it was her (even though we haven't seen each other since our 10 year reunion, 8 years ago) we started talking right off the bat, no awkwardness at all, and then we didn't stop until 3 hours later...if it wasn't getting late I think we could have kept talking...it was great. My boys kept teasing me about my "girl date" cuz I was so excited about it, and warned me not to get my hopes up, but it turned out not to be a disappointment at all, and I hope that we are able to rekindle our friendship, complete with the giggling over boys and silly private jokes.
Ok...so, enough gushing, Thursday is my day to share sh*t that doesn't suck so here ya go, my favorite things this week:
OMG...I am not a huge movie person, I am not one to go see a movie opening night, or hell, even in the theater, I usually wait until DVD, but The Hangover is one I will be seeing, in the theater...I have watched this trailer maybe 7 times, still makes me laugh. Awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OligCf4SyYE
I have been following Amelia, on TheFrisky, re-enter the treacherous dating pool with a fair amount of success, and feel like we are alike on a lot of levels...this weeks post made me laugh out loud. Not only does she talk about "sparking" which those close to me know I have also been talking a bit about these days, but she also talks about how people are Tiggers, Piglets, Eeyores or Pooh Bears, and I DO THAT ALL THE TIME...too funny. I am a piglet, or perhaps a Roo... http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dating-amelia-my-last-bite-of-chicken-parm/
Sorry, I think by the time most of you read this the sale may be over, but I had to share...Gigi sent me this link: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSSWMSASZZZ&cgnbr=OSSWMSASZZZ&rfnbr=6137&cm_mmc=di-_-090521SWIM-_-V01-_-51877&cm_em CUTEST SWIMSUITS EVER...I ordered the pink polka dot one...good prices too!
And last...for those of you in NC who will be in the Wilmington area tomorrow night: http://www.mayfairetown.com/pages/play/ FREE outdoor concerts, every Friday night...you can bring coolers, lawn chairs, etc. there is fun for the kids, and all the bands are pretty great. The Pea and I went to the first one, had a BLAST, and I suspect we will be back there tomorrow. Can't beat a picnic with free live music...great crowd too.
Ok all...have a great holiday weekend, stay safe, and if you get a wild hair: call up an old friend...even if it doesn't lead to a "girl date" reconnecting with someone who "knew you when" may just make you feel young and happy, and that wouldn't suck.
Ok...so, enough gushing, Thursday is my day to share sh*t that doesn't suck so here ya go, my favorite things this week:
OMG...I am not a huge movie person, I am not one to go see a movie opening night, or hell, even in the theater, I usually wait until DVD, but The Hangover is one I will be seeing, in the theater...I have watched this trailer maybe 7 times, still makes me laugh. Awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OligCf4SyYE
I have been following Amelia, on TheFrisky, re-enter the treacherous dating pool with a fair amount of success, and feel like we are alike on a lot of levels...this weeks post made me laugh out loud. Not only does she talk about "sparking" which those close to me know I have also been talking a bit about these days, but she also talks about how people are Tiggers, Piglets, Eeyores or Pooh Bears, and I DO THAT ALL THE TIME...too funny. I am a piglet, or perhaps a Roo... http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dating-amelia-my-last-bite-of-chicken-parm/
Sorry, I think by the time most of you read this the sale may be over, but I had to share...Gigi sent me this link: http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSSWMSASZZZ&cgnbr=OSSWMSASZZZ&rfnbr=6137&cm_mmc=di-_-090521SWIM-_-V01-_-51877&cm_em CUTEST SWIMSUITS EVER...I ordered the pink polka dot one...good prices too!
And last...for those of you in NC who will be in the Wilmington area tomorrow night: http://www.mayfairetown.com/pages/play/ FREE outdoor concerts, every Friday night...you can bring coolers, lawn chairs, etc. there is fun for the kids, and all the bands are pretty great. The Pea and I went to the first one, had a BLAST, and I suspect we will be back there tomorrow. Can't beat a picnic with free live music...great crowd too.
Ok all...have a great holiday weekend, stay safe, and if you get a wild hair: call up an old friend...even if it doesn't lead to a "girl date" reconnecting with someone who "knew you when" may just make you feel young and happy, and that wouldn't suck.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
moxie (again)
Wow...so A LOT of conversation, a lot of advice, a whole host of things have happened since the weekend. Thanks for all the love and support...thanks all, for looking out for not only me, but DH as well...the Pea appreciates, cuz sometimes her parents can be a little short sighted and silly.
Ok, moving on...I am going to re-post Sunday mornings post...the other one that I deleted, because I am confident that DH won't enter it as any kind of "evidence" that I am in some way unfit or unwell or whatever...and if he does, well, those of you who want to can email me and say "I told you so."
Sunday May 17
moxie
mox·ie
n. Slang
1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage
MOXIE: It's a street-smart spirit that's as old as recorded history, and as new as the rising sun. David had it; Goliath didn't. It's that intangible tangible. You don't learn it in school and you can't get it from a book. It can jump oceans and move mountains. It says, "Make your life what it can be. Take your life wherever it can go."- Compendium, Inc.
Moxie, a carbonated beverage, is considered by some to be the USA's first mass produced softdrink, although both Vernors ginger ale and Hires Root Beer predate it by a decade...it was sold in carbonated form and merchandised as an invigorating drink, which claimed to endow the drinker with “spunk"...The name entered the American language, when a person was said to be “full of Moxie”, meaning that the person was skillful, or spirited. - Wikipedia
Last night I went out with a girlfriend. I was in a bit of a funk, after the whole club deal, but we had planned this night awhile back and she wasn't gonna let me out of it. I'm glad she didn't. Once she and Smash talked me off the ledge and forced me to get my ass off the couch and in the shower, I started to feel better...once I cranked up the tunes and started to get dressed, I was officially out of the funk and ready to go out and have fun.
Well, we just ended up going to a local sports bar/restaurant and sitting together at the bar talking while watching the Braves get DESTROYED, but I looked good, felt even better, and enjoyed being out. As we got up to leave, a guy who had been sitting at the bar near us stopped me, called me over, and complimented me on my dress. It was a pretty damn cute dress. I smiled, said thanks, was flattered, and we headed out. Then it occurred to me, wait a minute...unless he is gay, that may not have been about the dress AT ALL...so I stopped, asked my girlfriend what she thought and her response was "Uhm, no...he probably thought you were cute...go back and talk to him...go on, go back stupid, he was cute!"
Soooo, armed with the confidence of two dirty birds (Grey Goose martinis, straight up, very dirty, 3 olives) I walked back to the bar and said "Was that really just about the dress or do you want my number?" O.M.G. I have no idea who that woman was, or why she did that, but it felt great. He has my number, he wants to do coffee sometime. I don't know if he will call...honestly, I don't much care, it was more about me, doing something I never would have before, and who knows...
Oh yeah, I got my moxie back.
Update, Monday May 18, 7:30pm: He texted, we are planning to meet Friday for coffee.
Ok, moving on...I am going to re-post Sunday mornings post...the other one that I deleted, because I am confident that DH won't enter it as any kind of "evidence" that I am in some way unfit or unwell or whatever...and if he does, well, those of you who want to can email me and say "I told you so."
Sunday May 17
moxie
mox·ie
n. Slang
1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage
MOXIE: It's a street-smart spirit that's as old as recorded history, and as new as the rising sun. David had it; Goliath didn't. It's that intangible tangible. You don't learn it in school and you can't get it from a book. It can jump oceans and move mountains. It says, "Make your life what it can be. Take your life wherever it can go."- Compendium, Inc.
Moxie, a carbonated beverage, is considered by some to be the USA's first mass produced softdrink, although both Vernors ginger ale and Hires Root Beer predate it by a decade...it was sold in carbonated form and merchandised as an invigorating drink, which claimed to endow the drinker with “spunk"...The name entered the American language, when a person was said to be “full of Moxie”, meaning that the person was skillful, or spirited. - Wikipedia
Last night I went out with a girlfriend. I was in a bit of a funk, after the whole club deal, but we had planned this night awhile back and she wasn't gonna let me out of it. I'm glad she didn't. Once she and Smash talked me off the ledge and forced me to get my ass off the couch and in the shower, I started to feel better...once I cranked up the tunes and started to get dressed, I was officially out of the funk and ready to go out and have fun.
Well, we just ended up going to a local sports bar/restaurant and sitting together at the bar talking while watching the Braves get DESTROYED, but I looked good, felt even better, and enjoyed being out. As we got up to leave, a guy who had been sitting at the bar near us stopped me, called me over, and complimented me on my dress. It was a pretty damn cute dress. I smiled, said thanks, was flattered, and we headed out. Then it occurred to me, wait a minute...unless he is gay, that may not have been about the dress AT ALL...so I stopped, asked my girlfriend what she thought and her response was "Uhm, no...he probably thought you were cute...go back and talk to him...go on, go back stupid, he was cute!"
Soooo, armed with the confidence of two dirty birds (Grey Goose martinis, straight up, very dirty, 3 olives) I walked back to the bar and said "Was that really just about the dress or do you want my number?" O.M.G. I have no idea who that woman was, or why she did that, but it felt great. He has my number, he wants to do coffee sometime. I don't know if he will call...honestly, I don't much care, it was more about me, doing something I never would have before, and who knows...
Oh yeah, I got my moxie back.
Update, Monday May 18, 7:30pm: He texted, we are planning to meet Friday for coffee.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
writing out loud
I just got back from picking up the Pea, and something amazing happened that I felt like I needed to share. DH and I talked...actually talked, without getting angry, without yelling...I felt like he listened and heard me, and he felt (I think) like I empathized and saw his point of view (which I did).
It all started because of yesterday's blog post. A few who read it, went to DH, and he was pissed because I "slammed him" and embarrassed him and ya know, he had every right to be. Perhaps I shouldn't have written about my frustrations...perhaps I should have been a big enough person to pick up the phone and call him and talk to him...well I wasn't...I wasn't because very few times over the last 14 years have I been able to express to him, either in person or on the phone, when I was upset or frustrated. Whenever I have been, he has either dismissed it, or we have had a fight about it. The blog became the place where I actually felt heard (and yes, I realize that sounds bizarre) and often times I was able to express how I felt through writing, better than I ever could through speech.
Yesterday's post, even though he never read it, allowed us to start a dialog that would have otherwise gone unsaid. I would probably have continued to be resentful, and we would have both continued to be passive aggressive and shitty to each other...instead we sat in my car, in a parking lot, in the pouring rain...we talked, and we cried, and we actually communicated. We resolved issues, and made promises to each other to put the Pea first, and to, no matter what, make sure she is taken care of. I'm glad I wrote that post...I'm glad because today DH and I came together as parents and proved we could work together for the sake of our kid, proved we could trust each other, and be empathetic toward one another, and without that post: I honestly don't know if it ever would have happened.
When I first took this blog public I was terrified of my mother's response to it. There were a few posts about my mom...frustrations I had that I had never expressed to her, things I was afraid to say to her. To some people I was "slamming" her, much the same way it appeared I was slamming DH. Turns out those posts allowed my mom to "hear" me and process on her own time, in her own way, and make her way back to me so we could talk. My mom and I still struggle sometimes (like now...mom, please come back, we were doing so good...I love you and I love Youngest, and I miss you both like crazy...please) but we are able to connect now like we were never able to before, and it is because of this blog.
Sometimes it isn't what we say that hurts the people we love the most, it is the things we don't say...it is the things we leave unsaid that build resentment, build walls, and close us off to one another...and because I often struggle to say things out loud, I will continue to write them...and I hope that it continues to bring me closer to the people I care about.
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations
Say what you need to say (8x)
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (8x)
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say...
-John Mayer
It all started because of yesterday's blog post. A few who read it, went to DH, and he was pissed because I "slammed him" and embarrassed him and ya know, he had every right to be. Perhaps I shouldn't have written about my frustrations...perhaps I should have been a big enough person to pick up the phone and call him and talk to him...well I wasn't...I wasn't because very few times over the last 14 years have I been able to express to him, either in person or on the phone, when I was upset or frustrated. Whenever I have been, he has either dismissed it, or we have had a fight about it. The blog became the place where I actually felt heard (and yes, I realize that sounds bizarre) and often times I was able to express how I felt through writing, better than I ever could through speech.
Yesterday's post, even though he never read it, allowed us to start a dialog that would have otherwise gone unsaid. I would probably have continued to be resentful, and we would have both continued to be passive aggressive and shitty to each other...instead we sat in my car, in a parking lot, in the pouring rain...we talked, and we cried, and we actually communicated. We resolved issues, and made promises to each other to put the Pea first, and to, no matter what, make sure she is taken care of. I'm glad I wrote that post...I'm glad because today DH and I came together as parents and proved we could work together for the sake of our kid, proved we could trust each other, and be empathetic toward one another, and without that post: I honestly don't know if it ever would have happened.
When I first took this blog public I was terrified of my mother's response to it. There were a few posts about my mom...frustrations I had that I had never expressed to her, things I was afraid to say to her. To some people I was "slamming" her, much the same way it appeared I was slamming DH. Turns out those posts allowed my mom to "hear" me and process on her own time, in her own way, and make her way back to me so we could talk. My mom and I still struggle sometimes (like now...mom, please come back, we were doing so good...I love you and I love Youngest, and I miss you both like crazy...please) but we are able to connect now like we were never able to before, and it is because of this blog.
Sometimes it isn't what we say that hurts the people we love the most, it is the things we don't say...it is the things we leave unsaid that build resentment, build walls, and close us off to one another...and because I often struggle to say things out loud, I will continue to write them...and I hope that it continues to bring me closer to the people I care about.
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations
Say what you need to say (8x)
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (8x)
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say...
-John Mayer
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