f*%k!ng sleep

Well I managed to get all the ornaments off the Christmas tree.  My living room is filled with boxes, the now bare tree taunts me, and I have no more energy to deal with it tonight.  I'm still not sure how I am going to get the damn thing out of here.  It is 9 feet tall, I am just over 5...it weighs almost as much as I do.  I have a flight of stairs and a rickety drop stair to maneuver if I want it in the attic, a muddy lawn and spiders if I try and put it under the house.  I am considering throwing some hearts and bows on it and calling it a Valentines tree. 

Other than the naked tree taunting me, the weekend has been pretty awesome.  The weather was fantastic...a nice change from last year, and I was able to get outside and enjoy it.  I played 27 holes of golf and then spent the night drinking laughing around the bonfire with the neighbors.  I didn't have any more melt downs (it helped no one asked me out) and I had some good snuggle time with the Pea when she came home from her dad's.

Right now she is being a shit and won't go to sleep, though, which makes me think of the book Go the F**k to Sleep.  You have heard of this book right?  If you are a parent, or about to be one, you need this book.  My sister gave me a copy, but if you don't have a sister, or one as cool as mine, I would suggest ordering one for yourself...like now...it is hilarious, and universal, and I am going to go read mine so I can laugh instead of scream at my kid.
 
http://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/1617750255

"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep
I know you're not thirsty.  That's bullshit.  Stop lying.
Lie the f*ck down, my darling, and sleep."

...

"The flowers doze low in the meadows.
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I'm a shitty ass parent.
Stop f*cking with me, please, and sleep."



I just had to threaten her pillow pet with death because she is standing at the top of the stairs screaming that she NEEDS something ELSE...jeezus f*ck...hell, even is SHE isn't, I'M going to sleep.