pissed

Yesterday's "outrageous" email was "Do you like to party?" uhm, do fish live in water?  What is your point?  Well, as she went on to explain, life should be all about partying.  Not real parties, which involve booze and debauchery, but rather, little celebrations of all your successes, even the little ones.  Ok, live life to the fullest, enjoy it, I got it...and then she somehow switched gears, made a crazy right hand turn, and next thing I know she is talking about language and how using positive versus negative can impact your perception.  Wha? Seems to me two different concepts and by smashing them together you have just overloaded my brain and pissed me off...which, coincidentally brings me to the title of today's email "OMG, I am so pissed..."  Oooh, yay, maybe a little less hokey.  Nope, not so much...matter of fact, so much hokeyness (pretty sure that is not a word, whatever) that instead of trying to regurgitate for you her point (which she took so damn long to get to that I really WAS pissed by the end) I am just going to list a few things that piss me off.

For starters, long rambling emails that talk in circles and use lots of BOLD and CAPITAL and EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!! and end up stating a point or concept that could be far better received with a few, well said, words or phrases.

School fundraisers.  Yup, the Pea came home with her first, of I'm sure a zillion, pamphlets filled with overpriced crap that guilt you into buying (because if you don't, you are a bad parent and OBVIOUSLY don't value education) and get your kid all excited about the possibility of winning some jack-ass toy or prize.  I could go to Walmart (and we know how much I love going there) buy both the thing they are selling and the stupid prize she could win if she sells a zillion dollars worth, AND give the school the $20 they will make is she does sell a zillion, and we would all be better off.  Hate 'em.

Food that is no where near healthy, not even close, that is marketed towards kids and labeled in a way that makes it SEEM healthy.  For instance, Fruit Loops NOW have whole grains and fiber...therefor are a part of a nutritious breakfast.  Bull.  Shit.  The amount of sugar in a single fruit loop is enough to induce a diabetic coma and the amount of fiber is negligible, and sorry, no, having a whole grain or two in the mix doesn't mean it's good for you.  Oh, and another one: "All natural" just because it is natural does not mean it is a good idea to put it in your body...cocaine is natural...arsenic and bleach are too.

I'll end my little rant with this one: Dunkin Donuts that don't sell doughnuts...I can't begin to explain how much this pisses me off.  I'm sorry but if you have DONUT in your name you MUST SELL DOUGHNUTS.  I realize that the whole "America Runs on Dunkin" is about marketing your coffee, and you make more money off selling coffee than you do selling little crack cakes, but when I am craving a pumpkin doughnut, and I see a very recognizable sign that indicates there are going to be those little pieces of heaven inside, and I pull off the road, park my car, walk inside and find ONLY... coffee...well.  They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but I say "hell hath no fury like me, when I want a damn doughnut."