tonight

I am so over the ridiculous Outrageous emails.  I like the concept, but they are just tedious and boring.  I DO, however, really like the website http://www.pickthebrain.com/ that I got the whole outrageous email thing from so I will continue to check it.  One of the essays on the site today was "If the world ended tomorrow, what would you do tonight?"

Something to think about.

Obviously for the sake of the exercise you actually KNOW it is going to end, because if you didn't you would do exactly what you do any other night and not give it a second thought, but there are plenty of people whose worlds have ended, usually by accident, but sometimes because of a freak medical thing, the day after an ordinary day.  So I guess what may be a more important question (cuz lets face it, if we knew there was an asteroid or something headed our way it would be chaos and I for one would be hunkered down in my house, hopefully surrounded by people I loved, looking at old photos, drinking heavily, and squeezing my kid) is: do you end every day at peace with the fact that it may have been your last?

Do the people you love know you love them?  Were you kind and thoughtful or is there someone out there whom you owe an apology? Have you accomplished enough in this life to let yourself be happy right here, right now?  I think it is safe to say all of us wish we could do more, have more, live more, see more, experience more, and love more, and God willing we will, but what if we don't get that luxury?

I know I could be a better parent, a better friend, a better employee, I could keep my house cleaner (a monkey could keep my house cleaner than I do), I could be in better shape and be more fashionable, but I'm happy just the way I am, and most days I do the best I can with what I have that day.  Some days I feel like superwoman and my house is clean, my kid clean, I look and feel great...other days I'm happy to make it to work with pants on and remember to brush my hair, but EVERY DAY my kid feels loved, and I feel lucky.

Tonight all I could muster for dinner was macaroni and cheese, the Pea didn't get a bath, my house is trashed, and I didn't finish the project I'm working on at work...I DID, however, talk to Smash and tell her I love her, go to yoga, and tuck my kiddo into bed, where she promptly fell asleep because she felt safe, secure, and loved...If the world ended tomorrow, I'm ok with what I did tonight.