doesn't suck

Well it is Thursday already, the week has just flown by, and as a variation of my Sh*t That Doesn't S#ck I thought I would do a little bit about Match. Overall, I must admit, it doesn't suck...I was able to meet some amazing men that I never would have run into without it and while I don't know what will happen long term even found one to hang onto and try to have a relationship with.


One of the great things about Match is it puts all your stuff out there right away...there are no awkward second dates where you have to disclose that you are divorced and have a kid...it says so right there in black and white in your profile and for the most part if someone is not ok with that they just move on and you never meet. Another thing that doesn't suck is you can generally get a pretty good feel for the type of person in the way they write their profile, the pictures they include (or don't) and the things they say are important.

I won't go into all the things that DO suck about Match, and how weird it is, and how it takes some getting used to cuz I have pretty much covered that already, but I will offer some advice based on my experience (and Booya's) for anyone out there considering or who has a friend considering it.


DO be honest...this is the biggest and most important...and I don't just mean about height, age, body type, marital status...be honest about what you like and don't, and what you are looking for...if you have some really big deal breakers, go ahead and put it out there. If you are a vegan and can't date someone who eats meat go ahead and say so...DON'T however, list all the things that annoy you or all the personality traits of people that could render you not attracted, or state the obvious. This is an excerpt from an actual profile, I never returned his email : if you are attempting to date everyone on this website, please skip over me please. Hey, I know that there are some of you out there that all you do is date just to date. Not my kind of girl!!! You like personality then I have one. I'm fun to spend time with and I'm definitely the romantic type. I'm looking for that person that is looking true happiness, and who realizes that being happy has nothing to do with financial status. Don't get me wrong be cause I enjoy a comfortable life style, but I place more importance on love and happiness. Now if your pictures that you have posted are from your high school prom, and they are not who you are now, please do not contact me unless you have current pictures that you can send. If your pictures are when your were 15 to 20 pounds lighter, then you are totally false advertising yourself. Please also have pictures to send if you contact me because attraction has been around since Adam and Eve!!! Now I think age is very much a number, but how you have lived your life will reflect how that age fits you. I prefer the person that has lived a clean and healthy life and this will show regardless of their age. For example, if you have lived a hard life up to this point and you are say 35 then you most likely look 55 years old. This would not be the type person for me!!! Oh, and excessive use of exclamation points is annoying, don't do it.

DO keep things short and sweet...just because you have 4000 words available doesn't mean you need to actually use them all, this isn't a college application...leaving a little bit to talk about on your dates is a good thing. DON'T be vague or cryptic though cuz that just smacks of creepy. DO try and allow the kind of person you are to come across...if you are funny, be funny...if you are serious, ok...if you are an arrogant douche you might want to tone it down, but then again: Any romantic and articulate women out there that take themselves serious and would want to be with the same kind of person? I am a great guy to be with, looking for a woman with no hang-ups and zero drama. I will place a picture up if I see someone interested or curious without the view of a picture. Yeah, that was his entire profile...no pictures, no likes and dislikes, no hobbies...wonder if he has had any takers? And DON'T, in your profile or emails, use "texting" language like u, ur, lol etc...the reason you abbreviate like that in a text is cuz you have so little room available...reading profiles and emails that read like text messages, especially from 40 year old men, all I could think was this guy is trying to be cool and it isn't working.

DO be nice...rather obvious huh? Well...apparently some guys think it is cool to not be. I got more emails either demanding to meet me, making a rude comment about me or one of my body parts (and NO I did not post any bikini shots so I didn't open myself up for that), or just overall snotty. Here is one that I got:

If you are really the person you come across as in your profilr then i would love to meet u and maybe have a drink together.

*That was the actual email, in his profile he referred to himself as awesome and said he was looking for a girl who could handle that...this was my response...I never hit send...I realize now I was probably being a little snarky.*

Dear Mr Awesome,
Well NO, actually, I am not the person in my profile...I hacked the pictures off some myspace page, I have no idea who they are. I am a troll. I don't like football, I don't drink beer, I don't play golf, I just put those things in there cuz I hear dudes dig it. I am really a drama queen, high maintenance, gold digger looking to lure an awesome unsuspecting guy, such as yourself, into my life and my bed...can't wait to meet you and have that drink!
K

Oh, and one last DON'T: don't post the following types of pictures, they are really kinda weird: glamour shots (and yes, I saw both MEN and women with these...ridiculous), nekkid or half nekkid...the beach shots are cool in the extra photos, especially if you have a rockin bod, but not on the profile picture...and what is with the picture of yourself standing in front of the mirror holding the camera? That one I don't get AT ALL. Scowling, sticking your tongue out, and kissy faces...save those for your Facebook page...SMILE damnit. And last...pictues with someone of the opposite sex in them. CROP THEM OUT! EVEN IF IT IS YOUR SIBLING...I must admit, for me, seeing a guys profile with obviously cropped out ladies made him seem more real than just a bunch of him standing with his buddies or by himself. Most "real" guys don't have a bunch of pictures of themselves laying around and those they do have were probably taken when they were in a relationship...that is cool...the guys with the pictures of them with Hooters girls, on a boat with a bunch of bikini clad women, or (and YES I saw this) with a hottie sitting on his lap...two words: LOSE ERRRR. The ladies tended to go with the pictures of them with their animals and kids...again one or two in the extra pictures, fine, but not in a profile pic, and I personally didn't want pictures of the Pea out there for a bunch of potentially creepy guys to see so I cropped her out of all of them. It was obvious she was still in some of them cuz there is no way to cut her out completely, but at least her face wasn't shown.

Whew...ok, I think I could write for a week about all things to do/not do when it comes to online dating...some things I learned along the way, some things I learned cuz I saw others do them...one thing is for sure though, DO IT. If you are single and considering it, go for it...finding a great person that you never would have without it doesn't suck.