today

Baby Tarheel is back in the hospital...he will be ok, but any time a brand new baby is not 100% it is scary and NO fun. The Pea had a few minor things when she was new too, and I swear it was worse on me than her. She had to have a little surgery in her third week and I was a puddle on the floor...literally. I sat outside the operating room, on the floor, sobbing, and I KNEW she would be ok...she, on the other hand, was in happy far off drug induced sleepy land and none the wiser. I CANNOT imagine going through something serious, something potentially life threatening, or worse, terminal, with a child.

Sometimes I have a tendency, as we all do I think, do get into a funk. To start feeling sorry for myself because things aren't necessarily the way I would like them to be. I start lamenting in the "what ifs" and worryin about the "what could be" instead of just focusing on the today. I went on a little spring break journey awhile back and was the happiest I had been in a long time. I am not sure why I decided it was time to grow up and abandon the idea, but I did and that was just plain stoo-pid.

I am BACK on spring break.

In addition to finding out about Baby Tarheel, and letting myself sit with the reality that our health is precious and fleeting and at any given time could be compromised, I finished reading American Thighs this morning and in it the ever wise Jill Conner Browne imparted some wisdom that I want to share. She closed the laugh out loud riot of a book as she usually does, with a bit of seriousness, and NO, I am not blowing the book for any of you, it's not like a novel...these words you could read over and over:

Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."...Please take note that the verse says "THIS" is the day - meaning TODAY - the one we are in right now - it does NOT say YESTERDAY was the day - although He did make it but it no longer matters because it is O-VER. It does not say TOMORROW is the day - although, if tomorrow does, in fact, show up, it will be because the Lord made it, too - but so far He has not committed to it so that's a crapshoot - TODAY is what we got - it is ALL that we've got and it is enough. Be Thankful for it - and TRUST that whatever you need will be there for you.
No matter what you put your faith in you will find that you are called, exhorted, encouraged, and/or commanded to BE HERE NOW. So now I'm telling you that as well: you are FABULOUS, just as you are, right NOW, and you HAVE this wonderful day - so go freely forth, have fun - IT IS TOO LATE TO HAVE A BETTER PAST - what you do TODAY is all that matters.


To Gigi: I love you...I am thinking about you...Baby Tarheel is a lucky little man to have you...now try and get you some sleep!