playing nice

Philly and I played golf today...the first time out with someone new is always interesting...it is a great way to get to know someone. You learn pretty quickly how they deal with rules, whether they take themselves seriously or not, how they handle frustration, how competitive they are, if they have a temper, if they are courteous, and how honest they are. I was a little nervous cuz things are moving along really well and we are definitely headed into a relationship, and if we weren't able to mesh on the course...wellllll...things might have faded out pretty quick. We had a great time...turns out, we play well together.

I am excited about how things are going and already looking forward to seeing him again. I am trying not to think about "the future" or anything past the next few days and weeks and just trying to get to know him and see where it goes. I know he doesn't want to live here forever and I don't want to live up north so I suspect we have an expiration date even if things are perfect, but I don't want to hold back or walk away just because of the possibility that we will have to end things down the road...I don't want to, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it. Having been heartbroken and a puddle on the floor, I don't exactly want to set myself up for that, but I sure wouldn't want to NOT take a chance on someone that I think is great, that I am attracted to, and want to spend time with, just because some time down the road it may have to end. Hell, most relationships end, period, and if before it does you feel good, and whole, and happy, it is worth it...right?

I guess new relationships are a bit like a round of golf...you set out with the best intentions, all happy, and excited, and ready. You have your ups and downs...happy moments, frustrating moments, moments when you just want to pick up and go home. There are times when you think your luck can't get worse, and others when you think you are the luckiest sumbitch on the planet. Despite trying to always do your best, sometimes you fall short, other times things work out exactly as planned. Often times, when you least expect it, you have a great one that feels effortless...and sometimes it is a struggle from the start. You almost always encounter something you never have, and learn a thing a two...and there are almost always a few "oopsie" moments. Overall though, if at the end of the day, you want to go back and do it again the next, it was worth it.